Show and Don't Tell: Uncle EPOV
by Brits23
Summary: ******THIS IS A SERIES OF ALTERNATE POVS FROM THE STORY SHOW AND DON'T TELL. IN ORDER FOR THIS TO MAKE ANY SENSE, YOU MUST READ SHOW AND DON'T TELL FIRST! EPOV moments from Show & Dont Tell
1. Meeting Ms Swan

**Read Show and Don't tell first, or you'll be hella confused.** **.net/s/4951259/1/Show_and_Dont_Tell **

**Wow I haven't said 'hella' in so long, I feel like it's 2001 or something....**

**The first installment of Uncle EPOV....the day Edward met Bella. Enjoy all!**

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_When you need a doll_

_And you don't know who to call_

_Make it Cherished toys._

_Cherished toys, the...the_...wow, that was horrible.

God my job sucked ass. Come to think of it, my life kind of sucked ass too. I never wanted to write ads, not really. I wanted to compose. Compose something that could move a person, I wanted to inspire and ignite. But I was too chicken shit to take the chance to do something I loved. So I wrote jingles.

I lit a cigarette before running my hand through my hair. I'd probably be bald by 30 with my fucking nervous habits.

I heard my phone ringing from my bedroom, blaring "You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!"

Peter Pan=Tinkerbelle=my pixie-like sister. You see the connection.

I threw my cigarette over the balcony and ran in to catch my phone, just making it.

"Sup Ali," I sighed.

"Nothin' brah," she giggled. My sister was a wannabe thug, you learned to get used to it. "Just a reminder to pick up Masen like you promised him. He's so excited that you're back."

I smiled. My nephew was like a ray of sunshine gleaming through a sea of crap. On top of more crap. "For sure. I guess I better get going then, I didn't realize how late it was."

"Yeah…hey Edward?" she mumbled hesitantly.

"Yep."

"Are you okay?" My little sister always worried too damn much.

"Yep."

"You are such a fucking liar," she muttered. "Talk to me."

I groaned in frustration. "What do you want me to say Alice? I'm back in town, work is dealt with. Now I'm going to get my personal life in order. I'll help her get her shit worked out, and then I can take life off hold."

"Whatever Edward, you shouldn't have to do that," she said quietly.

I shook my head, trying to think back to three months ago, before I started dating Tanya Denali. Ah, a simpler time.

"What does it matter?" I sighed, getting a little frustrated. "Look, I know. I know it's messed up. But her mother died Alice. Her _mother_. What kind of a dick would I be if I ditched her after that?"

"Yes, yes brother. You are so noble. And also miserable!" she was starting to yell, and I didn't want to set off the little tornado.

"Hey, I'm not _miserable_. I'm just…in a state of non-existence. It's not just Tanya anyway; it's a lot of things. Don't worry about me Ali. I'm just in a funk. I'll get over it." I tried to keep a positive tone as I spoke.

"Yeah, whatever Edward. Go in the west entrance. Masen's room is the first one on the right. Love ya," she said dejectedly.

"Love you too. Oh yeah, your friends with his teacher right? That Bella girl?" I had never met Alice's new friend, but I did know that she never shut the fuck up about her.

"Yeah, that's her. See ya later."

I hung up the phone, my stomach twisting at the somber tone in my sister's voice. I hated that she got all upset about my personal life.

I didn't see what the issue was. I _was_ in a relationship that I didn't necessarily want to be in, but hell, I didn't have any other prospects. For some inane reason, this girl thought I was the only solution to her problems, to her pain. When had I ever been that important to someone?

I knew the answer. Never. Sure, my family loved me, and I had friends. I used to date frequently as well, but aside from one or two serious relationships, I was emotionally void. I didn't want to be, but it felt like I had a giant heart shaped hole in me. How the fuck could all these girls be so...blah?

I was about to break up with Tanya when she told me about her mother's car accident. She was all alone, shaking in the corner as her grief consumed her. The only other family member she had was her sister Kate, and she lived across the country.

Tanya was a sweet girl, and of course hot, but I tried not to be shallow enough to make that the number one relationship factor. The truth was--she was as interesting as a thumb tack to me. It's not that she was unintelligent. She had a college degree in education. In fact she was capable of teaching any age, from preschool to high school. She just didn't do it for me. Romantically, intellectually, physically…I mean there's only so far a long pair of legs will get you. I didn't end things immediately, just out of my need for companionship. And yeah, I was considering settling for her. I was fucking sick of being alone, so I tried to make it work. Unfortunately, there was only so much I could take.

So when I came to my senses and made my way to her apartment that fateful day to effectively end things, I found a completely broken person. And I stayed. I stayed through the funeral, the depression, the fits of despair that were so intense, I didn't know if she'd ever overcome it. She had only moved back to Seattle a month before we started dating. She had two people in this town: her mother and me. One of them was gone now, so I needed to stay. It was the right thing to do God damn it.

As the days passed, she pulled herself out of it inch by inch. She was still quite depressed, but she got out of bed. She was looking for a teaching job. She was joining the human race again. I was ready to tell her I just wanted to be friends. I really thought it would go over well, since we hadn't done anything romantically since before her mother's death. When I tried to break up with her, I saw the same broken girl I saw the night of the accident. She cried and wailed and screamed…and I felt wholly responsible for completely erasing all of her progress. Whether that was a rational feeling or not, it didn't change the fact that it was there, gnawing at me. So I held her and told her it was going to be okay. Neither one of us brought it up again.

And so it went. She'd rebound from her sorrow rather quickly, and when I saw the opportunity to try again, she would snap back to that empty shell of a person. I realized that this was a situation that needed to be handled delicately. I did feel bad for Tanya, so I decided to help her, and if I had to remain her boyfriend for awhile to achieve that, I would do it. Once I made a decision, I tended to stick to it, but Jesus H, was she making it difficult. Her moods where constantly up and down, and her demeanor was starting to resemble a toddler's. I silently hoped she wasn't just trying to play me, but I didn't know how someone could use their mother's death like that. The more time went on, however, the more of a possibility it became. Even though this whole thing was aggravating the shit out of me, I was already invested, and determined to see it through.

I kept my problems mainly between myself, Alice, and my brother-in-law Jasper. I loved my other family members but they were meddlers, and that was the last thing I needed. I knew Alice was just worried, but Christ, did she have to bring it up all the fucking time? That little girl needed to take a hint.

I headed to my car, needing to stop the wheel of my mind before I got all angsty again. I headed towards Masen's school, excited to see my little buddy. Alice got pissed when I brought him home all sugared up and full of new phrases (what's wrong with a four year old telling his mom that she got pwned?), but I didn't care. That's what Uncles were for, after all.

I walked into the school and poked my head into the first door on the right, making sure I had the right one. I saw my moppy headed little nephew, so it was cool to enter.

I stood at the back of the room and said, "Maaaaasen."

He turned his head quickly and squealed "UNCLE E!" before hopping all over the desks and diving into me. Man this kid was _so_ getting detentions when he was older.

I laughed as he squeezed my neck tightly. "Hey monkey man! Why are you vandalizing the furniture?"

Masen giggled maniacally. His eyes were big, his mouth hanging open in a big smile, and he was fidgeting with excitement. I knew that look; he was going to start talking fast, and often. He definitely got the mouth from his mama.

Before he got a word in, however, hands came to his sides and tickled him, causing him to squirm almost out of my grip.

"What am I going to do with you little man? I'll have to wrap you in bubble wrap if you pull anymore stunts like that," a soft, sweet voice said with a laugh.

I looked up and my breath caught in my throat. Fuck. Me. How was it legal to allow such a beautiful fucking girl to be a teacher? Forget that, how is she allowed to be in public? There must be poor bastards everywhere spontaneously combusting left and right at the prospect of this creature. My eyes raked over her slowly, taking in every smooth curve of her. _Absolutely stunning_. Her long brown waves bounced as she laughed, and I realized I was smiling at her like a retarded buffoon. Clearly I was an expert when it came to the ladies.

I decided I better speak before she completely revoked all of my intelligent thoughts. "Hi," I croaked. "I'm Edward Cullen, or Uncle E, whichever you prefer."

Maybe she'd think I was cute with a nickname. Ahem. I mean, manly.

She laughed again, and she sounded nervous. Her big brown doe eyes met mine, and my heart started pounding against my chest cavity, threatening to bust its way through.

"I'm Bella Swan, Masen's teacher." She rolled her eyes, seemingly at herself.

I grinned stupidly again, staring at her unabashedly. I realized I probably resembled a creeper/pervert/stalker. I tried to retaliate before she kicked me out of the room and sheltered the kids from me. "It's nice to meet you Bella." The moment her name left my lips, I wanted to say it again.

"Um, Uncle E?"

Oh, right. Masen was there as well. Suddenly the room full of ankle biters snapped me out of my reverie, and I decided I better behave myself. Popping a chub in front of a bunch of little kids would be sick and freaking wrong.

I directed my attention back to Masen as he spoke. "You can't call her Bella…she's the _teacher_. You call her _Ms. Swan_."

Great, now my own flesh and blood was calling me out on my dumb assedness. I needed to recover. And yes, that is a word.

"You're right." I turned to Bella (_oh, Bella_) and winked. "My apologies Ms. Swan."

She looked at me with her small hand placed on her neck, her eyes glazed over. Hmm, it seemed as though she liked that. My stomach twisted in hope. I would be one lucky son of a bitch if I was actually affecting her that way.

Her heated gaze was starting to affect my body in a way that would probably get me arrested, so I turned to Masen, doing my best to ignore the pull I felt towards _Ms. Swan_. I grinned to myself. Yeah, I liked it too.

"So who dressed you today buddy?" I already knew the answer to that, but I was curious what my little guy had to say.

"I dressed myself today," he said defensively. "And I must have done a good job because Ms. Swan said…" he stopped and looked at Bella before whispering in my ear. Apparently she made men of all ages blush like little girls. "…Ms. Swan said I looked handsome today."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Not that she complimented my nephew, but that I was jealous of a four year old kid! What did Masen have that I didn't? Aw, this girl was making me bat shit fucking crazy.

"Wow, you're lucky buddy, I'm sure she doesn't say that to just anyone." I smiled at my nephew before risking another glance at her. The soft blush in her cheeks would surely be the end of me. I started singing _Hot For Teacher_ obnoxiously in my head, but stopped before I started thinking about the video; I was really beginning to cross the 'inappropriate' line. I felt like I was about to break out in a sweat. What the fuck was happening to me? I had to leave before I made even more of an ass out of myself.

I carried Masen over to his cubby and we emptied it out. He showed me a few art projects, complaining how Charlotte ruined his sensory board by touching it. He _so_ loved Charlotte. I chuckled at the politics of childhood romance.

I heard Bella behind me, telling her kids to clean up and get ready. I pushed my hair violently away from my forehead. It was time to leave and I didn't want to. I needed more. Her words, her body, her blush, her smile. I'd take whatever she'd give me.

Masen wiggled out of my arms and hopped on another desk, throwing his arms over Bella's shoulder. "Ms. Swan, are you coming to the zoo with us?"

Say yes. Shit, say no. Wait, say yes. Fuck if I knew what I wanted her to say. I was desperate for her company. At the same time, she made me act like a God damn lunatic, and I wanted to be my perfectly level headed self again.

She smiled sadly. "I can't little man. I have important grown up stuff to do at school when you leave."

He looked bummed as he jumped down and walked over to me. Get used to it buddy, women chew you up and spit you out, sometimes without even realizing it.

I could have grabbed my nephew and booked it, but I needed to make more words come out of her pretty pink lips. "So you seem to be getting along well with my sister. I mean, I've heard a lot about you."

She smiled sweetly, her eyes sparkling up at me. Bella Swan was an angel on the fucking earth. "Yeah, it doesn't take long for her to work her way into your heart."

I chuckled, running my hand through my hair again and effectively helping that balding thing along quite nicely. I didn't know what else I could talk about to keep her in front of me, but luckily she continued.

"And I haven't heard much about you. Just that Uncle E is Masen's hero."

I can be your hero baby. Oh great, I sound like fucking Enrique Iglesias. I'm such a chick. I guess I'm ready for my breasts now. "Yeah I suppose it's a little sad that my best friend is a four year old."

She smiled radiantly. "Not at all. Look at my present company. And I wouldn't trade them for the world."

Damn, that was incredibly sweet. It even took my mind out of the gutter for a second. "It's great to see a teacher care so much for her students."

"Well anyone who isn't passionate about children and education really shouldn't be in the field." The blush returned tenfold as she paused for a moment. "Besides I much more prefer viewing the world through a child's eyes, much more interesting don't you think?"

She was passionate. I found her interesting. I found a woman _interesting_. My heart soared at the possibilities. "I'd have to agree."

I found myself staring at her lips, wondering what it would feel like to touch them. "So Ms. Swan, what do you do when you aren't enriching the minds of four year olds?"

The question seemed to stun her for a moment, and I wondered if she took offense to my petty attempt at flirting.

I looked intently at her as her breathing picked up slightly. She brought her hand to her neck again, and her lips parted. She was a fucking vision. In that moment, I couldn't break away. I was completely taken aback by the last 10 minutes of my life.

"I um..." Was all that fell from her lips. I felt a strong urge to reach out for her, but realized how idiotic of a notion that really was.

Suddenly Masen hopped on the desk next to us with a loud thud, scaring the shit out of me. I wondered if Alice knew her kid was pushing the boundaries of social etiquette, jumping around on anything and everything.

"Uncle E, why are you looking at Ms. Swan like that?" he asked, pushing up on my chin.

Crap kid, isn't this bad enough without you closing my gaping jaw? I needed to get out of there. "You don't miss a beat, do you bud?"

He shook his head and I threw him on my back. "You ready to bounce Mase?"

"Like a basketball," he giggled. No wonder he got all the ladies, cute little shit.

I felt the familiar torn feeling as I was about to head for the door. Leave and regain sanity or stay and bask in the glorious bewilderment. I couldn't leave without touching her. "It was great meeting you Ms. Swan," I said, reaching my hand towards her.

When my skin made contact with hers, my arm turned to jelly. I was literally putty in this woman's hands. I still had no fucking clue how a complete stranger could make me feel all inside out and backwards.

"The pleasure was all mine Uncle E," she purred out of that beautiful little mouth.

I reminded myself to calm down repeatedly before I spoke. "I couldn't pick Masen up much, work has been crazy, but I think I'm going to be around a lot more."

I didn't think I had a choice in the matter. The girl needed to be in my life one way or another, I had to know her.

I continued staring back at her like the creepy guy I was turning out to be, not finding it in myself to care as I walked slowly towards the door.

All of a sudden I ran right into something large and solid. Something called a doorframe, connected to a wall. Well there went my cool points, if I had any to begin with.

"Dude, watch where you're going!" Masen chastised. God, my nephew was so much smoother than me.

I walked out the door, facing forward and not turning back. I needed to get to the zoo. I needed to think about what my next step would be. As embarrassed as I was, my spirit was lifted higher than it had been in a very long time. I started running to my car, causing Masen to squeal as I picked up speed. I stopped abruptly, feeling all the blood drain from my face. There would be no next step. There would be no stupidly happy giddiness. There was nothing to look forward to, because I wasn't in a position to do so. _Tanya._

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**So did you expect him to be so deliciously sarcastic? We love him, even though he's a dumb shit.**

**So are we enjoying Edward so far? What would you like to see next from him?**

**I had a few ask for Masenpov as well. Any ideas?**

**Thanks for reading, review me pretty please! :D**


	2. The Beginning of the Hypothetical End

**Here is the second installment of EPOV. This is the night at Bad Albert's, when Bella finds out that Edward has a girlfriend. Let's see what our sexy boy is thinking, shall we?**

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Well, I couldn't have looked good. Upon returning from my phenomenal/shitastic evening, I dropped into my bed, wrapped myself in a ball and piled all my pillows on top of my head. I wanted my bed to come alive and swallow me whole. Then I scared myself because it reminded me of Chairy from Pee Wee's Playhouse. That bitch was seconds away from gnawing on Pee Wee's ass every time he sat on her. Talk about childhood trauma.

I closed my eyes and tried to forget the events of the night, but alas, they were playing in hi-def and Dolby surround sound in my head.

When I dropped Masen off at home and Ali told me we were going to Bad Albert's, I said no way. I just wanted to be alone, I needed to think. Seven words out of her mouth had completely changed my mind. "But I want you to meet Bella."

I played it cool, telling her I had already met Bella earlier. Alice told me that didn't count, and who was I to argue?

I was a nervous wreck as I sipped my third random malt beverage. Rose, my Brother Emmett's girlfriend, asked me if I smoked some of the good shit before I came to dinner. Fuck, that would have been an excellent idea. Where were you on that one Blondie? The second I saw Bella walk to the table with Jazz, I was a goner. As I allowed myself to take her in, the air left my lungs in one long whoosh. She was wearing a dark blue dress that complimented her fair skin so perfectly; it was like it was made for her. She froze as her eyes met mine, and my heart jumped so viciously it flew out of my mouth and landed on table 13. Okay, that actually didn't happen, but it definitely could have. The bottom line was, she fit. There was no other way to describe it.

As the evening continued, it was as if it were only she and I sitting at that table. We talked, laughed, and flirted shamelessly. We had a lot in common, and she just got me. Usually my humor was so far off the beaten path that people just stared at me with "_what the fuck_" face. But it was like she understood me, and I her. It was so foreign to me how completely in tune I was with her mind, as well as her body. She would shift, and I would follow. She would clear her throat, and I found myself wanting to do the same. Her knee was inches away from mine, and I felt like I stuck my leg in an inferno. We had something, and it was vital for me to find out what that something was.

We danced, and time stood still. I held her close, feeling her heart beating against me. I got so fucking hard, it took all my effort to keep our bottom halves separate. Public boners have the ability to ruin any social situation, take it from me. This girl stimulated me in every possible way. She was my drug, and I her devoted junkie. In that moment there was no Tanya, and there were no complications. Just a guy and a girl, reveling in the intense and instant connection they shared for one another.

And the way it made me feel when she told me she felt it too? Man, I just didn't know I was capable of being as happy as I was in that instant. However, all too soon the realities of life started drifting back to me. Here I was dancing with the epitome of my perfect girl, who was not my girlfriend. And she liked me. And I led her on. I flirted and I confessed my interest in her. What the fuck would she think of me when she found out I was taken? And it was the honest to God's truth: I _was_ taken. I was Bella's the second her eyes met mine.

Towards the end of our life altering dance, I became aware of a fact that I had completely forgotten about. One very important piece of information. Tanya would be subbing at Masen's school for several weeks. She would be working with Bella. I needed someone to put me out of my misery, and fast.

I could see that Bella knew I was upset, although I'm sure she had no idea why. Maybe when she found out I had a girlfriend _she_ could put me out of my misery. Her mind worked in brilliant ways; she would probably come up with a really interesting cause of death.

When the song ended and I tore myself away from her eyes, I felt like an entirely different person. I walked into Bad Albert's a scared and clueless boy and was leaving a completely enamored and desperate man. We made our way back to the table and moments later Alice dragged Bella to the bathroom. I knew I was in trouble. It's not that I wanted to lie to Bella. I just didn't want my little balloon of optimism to be popped so quickly. Alice had been giving me the hairy eyeball all night, and I had done my best to ignore it. I knew it was wrong, I knew I should have kept my feelings hidden. God, I just couldn't help it! Her big brown 'come fuck me' eyes were staring up at me, taunting me. There was no way of avoiding the inevitable now that Ali was enlightening Bella in the bathroom. Wow, that sounded dirty.

On top of all the female drama, my brothers were now convinced that I was certifiably crazy. When the girls left the table, they started grilling me relentlessly about what the deal was with Bella and me. So how did I handle this potentially uncomfortable situation? I did what any mature and level headed adult would do. I stuck my fingers in my ears and said 'la la la la la la la' over and over until they finally gave up on it. I had no shame.

The truth was, if I didn't resort to my child like tactics, I could have easily fallen apart; and that scared the shit out of me. Edward Cullen doesn't fucking fall apart. Well, at least not over a girl, and certainly not in public. I was completely unrecognizable to myself, and it was exhilarating. I thought it would be terrifying but…well yeah, it was a little terrifying. I mean what kind of freaky witchcraft shit was making me fall for a woman so damn hard in practically no time at all? It was bizarre to say the least. And so amazing, I'd do anything not to lose it.

When Bella and my sister returned from the bathroom, I knew my short lived euphoria was expired. My Bella (whoa, what was _that_?) looked so sad, and it was because of me. I felt like someone had taken a feather duster to my heart. It sounded pleasant, but believe me, it was anything but.

I had to talk to her. I needed to explain why I acted the way I did even though I had no right to. It would not make up for my slime ball ways, and I had no idea how to solve this predicament, but I knew that I could never lie to her. How could anyone lie to someone so sweet and pure and good? You don't lie to Mister Rogers or the Bear in the Big Blue House do you? I didn't fucking think so.

Upon her return from the restroom, she started drinking profusely. That in turn led to cussing, and ultimately resulted in her need for a cigarette. Finally one of my bad habits was paying off. When we walked outside in the crisp Seattle air, I felt my resolve slipping. I made both of us feel like shit, and I hated myself for it. No, I didn't care how I felt. I deserved this, because I knew better. I was playing with fire all night, and I got burned in the worst possible way.

It's like when you were a kid, and you wanted to stick a penny in a light socket. Your Mom told you not to, that you'd get hurt. But that slot was made for that penny; you had to put it in there because there was no other option. The good thing was, after you got shocked, you knew better than to do it again. It was clear to me that when it came to Bella, I would never learn my lesson. The penny belonged in the slot, and Bella belonged with me. Electrocute me, twisted hands of fate! I'll gladly take the pain if you leave her with me just a moment longer…

I tried so hard for her to let me explain. Of course she wouldn't listen to me, and I didn't blame her one bit. She recognized me as the douche I really was, and though I put up my best efforts to make her see otherwise, I ultimately sent her crying into the night.

Making Bella Swan cry was a horrendous crime. I would have gladly welcomed jail time in exchange for the sense of despair that had overcome me.

In the course of 24 hours, I had been bored, depressed, enamored, mystified, guilty, love struck, and hopeless.

I was Edward Cullen and the seven fucked up dwarves.

As I lay in my bed and pushed my pillows tighter around my head, I tried to come up with an idea on how to fix this. I just didn't know how.

I didn't know how to do anything, but there was one thing I was sure of. I had to apologize to Bella, and I had to begin operation 'Get single so you can be with the woman of your dreams.' The name needed work, but the plan would be successful. Because it had to be.

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**You like? Don't like? Let me know. The next EPOV will be the night Bella got drunk, Edward came to save her, and Bella finally got the whole truth of why Edward was still with Tanya. Review me!!! It encourages me to hurry the hell up and post! ******** Thanks!**


	3. We're Going To The Zoo Zoo Zoo

**Hi!!**

**Okay, so originally this was supposed to be the night Bella got drunk and he told her what the deal was, blah blah. Well, I just couldn't do it, cuz it was depressing! I figured we got how crappy of a situation it was through BPOV, and I didn't think we needed to go there again.**

**So instead, I decided to do something we didn't see from BPOV, taking place during the four weeks that had gone by.**

**Just a little insight into the way things were earlier on in their friendship.**

**Here's the link for the sweet song that Bella and Masen sing at the beginning...the zoo song is all kinds of awesome by the way.**

**http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=aZlRT59cjus&feature=related**

**See you down below! :)**

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So there I was watching the girl I was in love with (Yes, two and a half weeks in, and it's _l-o-v-e_) swing my nephew around, singing this zoo song, and I just wanted to scoop her up in _my_ arms and squeeze. I will call her George and she will be _mine_.

"We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo," she sang.

Masen giggled like a hyena. "How about you, you, you?"

"You can come too, too, too," Bella sang, swinging Masen over her head.

Masen squealed grabbing onto Bella's arms. "We're going to the zoo!"

I applauded and whistled at their performance, because it was nothing short of amazing. Immediately Bella put Masen down and turned beet red. I wanted to lick that blush off of her face.

Alas, that was forbidden. I had a hard time remembering that. As we walked into the entrance of the zoo, I grabbed Masen and put him on my shoulders. He started rambling on and on like the little motor mouth that he is, but I was being neglectful, because I didn't hear a word.

Bella was looking up at me, smiling sweetly. I reached my index finger out, rubbing the inside of her wrist, back and forth. It was barely anything…but it was everything.

"What?" she asked softly, questioning my gaze.

I sighed, shaking my head. "You."

She laughed. "What about me?"

What about you, silly Bella? Every single fucking thing. I had spent almost every minute of the last two weeks talking to her on the phone. I knew what Elementary School she went to. I knew how she got that little scar on her chin. I knew her Grandpa's name, and the way she'd ride in the basket of his bike. I knew she loved the rain, and detested spiders. She adored her mother and hated feeling lonely (which she would never have to feel again, if I had my way). I longed for her body. I _really_ longed for her body. But the truth was, if I could just sit there and listen to her talk for the rest of my life, I'd die an ecstatic man. _I loved her._

Tanya was just about two weeks into her therapy, and I knew I had to hang in there for awhile longer. It was just so fucked up. I saw her like twice a week, three times at the most, and otherwise we just talked on the phone. She didn't complain, and she certainly didn't seem upset by it. We never did anything sexually, not even close. When we parted, I'd give her a hug and kiss the top of her head; that was the extent of it. Period. So why in the hell was she hanging on to me so desperately? I wasn't acting like a boyfriend, but it didn't seem to bother her. For someone who was so clingy, she was completely not clingy. But whatever, it gave me time with Bella, and even though I couldn't touch her the way I wanted, we were happy. I figured if I hang in another month, Tanya would be ready to accept things. And if she couldn't, well shit, you can't say I didn't try.

But needless to say, there was a time limit on this thing. If I couldn't help her by month's end, then it was obviously out of my hands. I couldn't make Bella endure any more than she already had. I was already insanely lucky that she was putting up with this fucked up situation in the first place. She was just so incredibly understanding. _I loved her._

Masen wanted down, and he ran off to see the bears, of course. He loved bears.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I swung my arm around Bella's shoulder and whispered, "You're beautiful" in her ear. She was _so_ beautiful, and she needed to know it. Sometimes I didn't think she realized how stunning she really was.

"Uncle E," Masen questioned. "How come these bears don't look like my bear?"

I knew he was referring to the _Bear in the Big Blue House_. "Because they're different kinds of bears buddy. They are from the wild, and your bear lives in a house and sings. They are very different."

Luckily he bought my streaming line of bullshit, and he ran off to the other side of the cage, growling at the bears.

Bella and I leaned on the fence, our heads turned towards one another. "You are so smart Uncle E," she giggled.

I smiled at her. "I really am. Go ahead, ask me anything."

She thought for a moment and her face fell in seriousness before she replied. "Okay. Why can't I ever stop thinking about you, not even for a second?"

I took in a sharp intake of breath. It was always a shock that she felt the way she did about me. I was just not worthy of her. "Bella," I whispered. "I don't know baby. You are constantly in _my_ thoughts. _Constantly_."

Her eyes widened as I spoke and I realized I called her _baby_. I had never done that before, at least not out loud. I sighed, brushing a stray piece of hair from her face. All I wanted to do was be enough for her. I needed to be the man that she deserved. _I loved her._

Moments like these were the best and worst kind. I was so filled up with all these emotions, and it was great to know that we were so into each other. But it also got painful with a side of awkward. Because it was my entire fault we couldn't be together. My entire fucking fault.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She smiled at me sadly. "Keep calling me baby. I loved that."

I love _you_.

We continued walking through the zoo, holding Masen's hands and swinging him as we walked. The typical bystander would look at the three of us and think _happy family. _

If they only knew.

I needed to snap myself out of all this self loathing. It was an uncommonly sunny day and I was chilling with my little buddy and my dream girl. Not too shabby.

We walked into the petting zoo and Masen started vibrating, I swear to God.

"Uncle E, Aunt Bella, I need to feed a goat! I wanna feed the goats! Puhleeease, can I?" His hands were clenched together and he was literally bouncing.

I shook my head at him, pulled out some quarters and handed him the cup. "Hold the cup out, bud. You have to catch the grain when it comes out of the machine."

He caught the feed and walked over to the baby goats, since they were right at his level. Bella and I leaned over him, making sure everything was going smoothly. Just because you don't commonly hear about goat attacks doesn't mean they don't happen!

"I want a baby goat Uncle E. Do you think Momma would let me?" he looked up at me hopefully.

Bella and I looked at each other and started laughing. I could just imagine us coming home with a goat. Alice would flip her fucking lid. It would be brilliant.

"Eh, I don't know buddy, you better ask her yourself," I chuckled, kneeling next to him.

Bella laughed. "I so want to buy him a goat just to see Ali's reaction."

I chuckled at her, finding myself lost in her eyes once again. "Let's do it. She can't stay mad at the both of us forever. We'll go pick one up."

She ran her hand through my hair and whispered, "It's a date."

My heart rate picked up, and everything disappeared again except for her and me. An hour could have went by and I wouldn't have known it.

"HOLY CRAP!!" my nephew's scream brought us back to the real world.

"Don't say crap Masen!" Bella and I yelled at the same time.

"Uncle E, look it!"

I looked down and this mama goat was going to town on my t-shirt. I guess the grain wasn't doing it for her anymore. Cotton must have been her dinner of choice, because I was now missing a large chunk from my shirt.

"Holy crap," I murmured, standing up and out of reach of this pervy goat trying to get me naked.

"Don't say crap!" Bella and Masen yelled at me.

I looked up at Bella and she was laughing hysterically. "Really, Edward. How do you not notice a goat munching on your clothing?"

I scowled at her. "Whatever, this is completely your fault!"

She had a shocked look on her face. "My fault? Oh please!"

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Uh, yeah. Hello? You look all pretty all the time, and you smell so good. And then you look at me, and I can't look away because let's face it, who could realistically look away from you? And when you say amazing things, this weird phenomenon happens where everything fades away, and so yeah, I didn't notice the goat all right?"

She just stared at me.

"I've gone too far haven't I?" I sighed.

She giggled. "And you think Masen got his mouth from Alice? Hmm...I beg to differ."

Fuck, I loved it when she teased me. "Keep talking Ms. Swan. You are so gonna get it."

She perked an eyebrow at me. "Am I?"

Shit. I was probably the first guy in history to get turned on in a petting zoo. Well, except for those "goat lovers."

I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You bet your ass."

Her eyes burned into mine. "Good."

Well this was certainly a foreign interaction between us. We always brought the playfulness but now it was all about the heat. She was driving me insane, damn little vixen with "come fuck me" eyes.

I took a step closer to Bella, but came to my senses just in time. "Okay, this is inappropriate zoo behavior. Let's move on shall we?"

She brought her hand toward me and slowly traced the V of my hipbone that was now exposed. She sighed deeply. "Yeah, we better."

I groaned. Blue ball city, here I come. Or here I _don't _come, rather.

I dragged Masen away from his beloved goats, and we got some ice cream. I certainly needed to cool off.

*****************

"Mommy, there's a homeless man over there," a little girl said, pointing at me.

Bella covered her mouth and laughed at my expense.

"A goat ate my shirt okay?" I said defensively. Damn kids.

Bella linked her arm with mine. "Aw, I think someone's getting cranky from their big day at the zoo. Let's get you home for a nap, kay?"

"Okay," I grumbled.

Masen giggled. "Aunt Bella, he's just like a kid at school, except way bigger."

Bella laughed. "Yeah, kind of little man."

We walked out to the car and strapped Masen in back. He immediately let out a huge yawn, mumbling "big black bear is a huffa puffin." I looked at Bella and she said it was from the zoo song. I wish I went to preschool and got to learn sweet ass songs all day.

I yawned as well, probably just as worn out as Masen was. I hadn't been sleeping much lately; I had a lot to think about. It was a good thing Bella drove, because I don't think I would have been very successful.

By the time we hit the end of the block, Masen was out like a light. I leaned my head on the neck rest, looking at Bella.

She chuckled at me. "You look exhausted."

I smiled sleepily. "A little."

She looked at me in that adoring way that made all of my internal organs jolt out of their previous positions. "Here, lay back Edward."

I leaned back and closed my eyes as she reached out, running her nails along my scalp back and forth. It was so soothing, and she was completely putting me to sleep.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any more amazing," I murmured. "Hey, you can't take care of me all the time you know. I want to take care of you too."

She sighed deeply, but said nothing.

It was the truth. I wanted to be her "person." I wanted to be the one she looked to and relied on. I wanted to be her plus one. I wanted to be her everything. No one was more important to me than her; I just prayed that one day she would feel the same for me. _I loved her._

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We went back to Bella's house and zonked out for a good hour. I guess Bella and I aren't as young as we once were. I slept on the couch with Masen and Bella fell asleep on the recliner. I didn't pass out right away though, because my favorite thing to do was look at Bella, and she was right in front of me, resembling a slumbering goddess.

When we woke up, Bella made us some ants on a log. I got extra ants for being a good boy at the zoo. Hells yeah.

After I dominated my ants and also the log, I went to the kitchen by Bella while Masen was watching Bear. I walked up behind her and breathed in the scent of her hair. Strawberries and baby shampoo. Calvin Klein needed to bottle that shit.

I stood behind her and laid my head on her shoulder. "Need some help Aunt Bella?"

She smiled and leaned her head against mine. "Nah, I'm just about done cleaning up."

"I had a lot of fun today," I whispered in her ear. Her breath always caught when I did that, and I loved it.

She curved her neck to look at me. "I did too," she said seriously.

In that moment, she turned her entire body and we were face to face. The room seemed to be shrinking and my body was on fire; we hadn't put ourselves in this position before today. We flirted all the time, but the sheer magnitude of the tension between us was staggering. I felt the undeniable urge to tear her clothes off, lift her to the counter, and pump in and out of her until she screamed my name. I swallowed thickly as I felt my cock start to harden. This was like the thousandth hard on I'd gotten for Bella, but never when she was so close and in viewing range.

Against my better judgment, I put my hands on her hips. She grabbed my forearms and squeezed before closing her eyes and looking down. "This is new," she whispered.

"Yeah," I laughed shakily. "Bella, I—"

"You guys wanna go outside and play?" Masen asked from directly behind me.

Aw snap, forgot about the four year old again. Bella and I would need to get our hormones under control before we had our kids or we'd get it for child neglect. Woah, what? _Our_ kids? Hmm, I was surprising myself more and more by the minute.

We went outside and tossed the little guy around for awhile, until I remembered what I had in the trunk of my car. I laughed wickedly, and ran to get the three cans of silly string. Upon my return, I snuck up behind Bella, and Masen saw me. He covered his mouth and giggled as I held a finger up for him to be quiet. With my ninja moves, I wrapped my arm around Bella and held up the silly string.

In the best bad guy voice I could muster, I said to Masen, "Don't move or the pretty girl gets it."

She was squirming against me and if her ass rubbed against my dick one more time, we were going to have a big problem. A magnum sized problem to be exact, but I don't like to brag.

"Get her! Get her!" Masen yelled. Way to throw her under the bus, little man. Damn, now I was even starting to sound like her.

Bella squealed. "Paybacks are a bitch Uncle E," she whispered to me, elbowing me in the ribs. While I was hunched over in pain she grabbed two of the cans and threw one to Masen.

"Get him Mase!" she yelled.

They continued to spray the crap out of me until we turned on Masen, and then on Bella. We were completely covered, and it was a blast.

"Ugh, I've got silly string jammed in my ear. Hello? Hello? I can't hear anything!" I yelled.

Masen giggled like a maniac.

"God, you are such a geek," Bella teased, shaking her head at me.

"Oh really?" She wanted to play did she? Bring it, sexy ass. I grabbed her around the waist, shoved the can down her shirt and just went to town.

She screamed at the top of her lungs and then kicked me in the shin. "Edward Cullen, your nephew is right here! That's just wrong!"

I fell to the ground, laughing obnoxiously as Masen plopped on my stomach and completely face sprayed me, little punk.

We all fell to the ground and looked up at the partly cloudy sky, our laughter fading away to serenity. I was giddy. Freaking giddy. We started watching clouds for awhile, arguing over which one looked like what.

"I gotta go potty," Masen said, standing up.

Bella and I uncovered him from his silly string wardrobe and he ran inside.

When the kid was gone, we faced each other, our heads lying in our hands.

"Could you imagine every day being like this?" she whispered to me.

Yes I could, baby. It would be in a little place I like to call Heaven.

I ran my fingers along her forehead, over her eyes and down her cheek. "I've never been this happy. And it started the day I met you, coincidentally enough."

She closed her eyes. "Me too."

We were quiet for a moment before she continued. "Do you know what else would make me really happy?"

"What baby?" I whispered, ready to give her anything she asked for.

With her catlike reflexes, she grabbed the waistband of my jeans (oh and the boxers as well, my girl was going for the gold), shoved the silly string can down my pants and continued to empty it onto a very sensitive area.

"Ah, shit that's cold!" I yelled, squirming to get away from her.

Bella was laughing so hard, she had tears running down her cheeks. I stood up and walked to the house like I had crapped my pants, which oddly enough, is what it kind of felt like.

"This isn't over, Isabella Marie," I said darkly.

"It better not be, Edward Anthony," she beamed at me.

_Jesus Christ, did I love that woman._

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**Awwwww....**

**Next up--Masen!**

**I hope you liked it, now leave mama some sugar...**


	4. The World According to Masen Whitlock

**Okay, so it is really flipping hard to write like a 4 1/2 year old...just sayin.**

**So this may suck. :D But hopefully I did the little guy some justice. Just a tiny glimpse into the mind of Masen Whitlock. :)**

**Twilight is not mine!**

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When I get home from school, I tell my momma everything that happens and I jump up and down cuz I'm so excited. She says to settle down, but I don't know why. I settle down at bed time and I settle down when me and Uncle E sneak up on Aunt Rose's cat. But then we yell real loud and it makes all of its hairs stand up. And then we laugh at it. My Momma and me have lots of fun. We pretend to be bears and crawl under the table cuz that's our cave. Then we crawl around and growl and rub our backs on the wall to get rid of our bugs. When I go to school I get to see Ms. Swan. She's my teacher, but she's in my family too and that's when I call her Aunt Bella. She used to be Momma's friend but now she's my Uncle E's friend too. They look at each other funny when they think I'm not looking. They are so weird. Charlotte took my ninja turtle that I brought to school yesterday cuz she said I was too stupid to have it. I wanted to cry but I didn't cuz I'm too big to cry. I let her have it cuz she likes Michelangelo cuz he says _callabunga dude!_ My Uncle Emmett played wii with me and I beat him. Then his face got all red and he said he doesn't want to play anymore, so then Daddy played with me. Lotsa times I get to stay with my grandma and my grandpa, and that is fun. Because my grandma lets me bake cookies with her and then when I go to sleep she gives me grandma kisses. My grandpa tells me I can be whatever I wanna be, and I tell him that I already know that. My grandpa is really smart and has so many books, but I don't like them cuz they are too hard to read. I can read _Fun with_ _Dick and Jane_, and Momma tells me I do a good job. Uncle Emmett laughs at me when I read it and then Aunt Rose hits him. They are weird too.

When I get to be five years old, I am going to play lots of songs on the piano just like Uncle E. My momma yells at him to comb his hair so he doesn't look like a bum, but he never listens cuz it's always messy. I told Momma that I wanted my hair messy too, but she says no and combs it when I get out of the tub. My daddy and I play golf at the place with the big windmill. I have to try a lot cuz sometimes it's really hard. Daddy kicks the ball in the hole for me, but he doesn't think I see. He just says "Yeah, you made it buddy!" I always win when he does that. My uncle E picked me up from school and we went to see _Hotel for Dogs._ It was really funny, and I told Daddy I wanted to have 10 dogs, but he said Momma would say no. I think if I stick my lip out and act sad she could let me. The blonde lady wanted to come to the movie but I didn't know her. She talks to me like I'm a baby and I'm not a baby. I'm almost five, so she didn't come with. Uncle E and I have tough guy time anyway and no girls are allowed. The blonde lady got mad but my uncle E just rolled his eyes and said "women." Aunt Bella told me to stop throwing dinosaurs and then I said "women" like Uncle E did, but that made Aunt Bella mad too, just like the blonde lady. I asked Daddy why saying that word was bad and he said I'd see why when I was bigger. The grownups say that all the time. The blonde lady is a teacher at my school now. Her name is Ms. Denali and she is in Mrs. Cheney's room cuz she had a baby. My friend Kody told me that she was mean sometimes and I told her he could come be in Ms. Swan's class cuz we have fun all the time and she is nice. He asked Ms. Swan if he could come do worksheets with us and she said she wanted him to but he couldn't.

I watch my Bear every day when I get home from school. Momma says that I act like Pip and Pop when I come home from Uncle E's cuz she says I bounce off the walls. I can't bounce off the walls, cuz I tried once and it just knocked me over. Momma says I can only watch one bear and then I get to go outside when it's not raining, but it rains a lot. Then Daddy and I play slap jack, and he is so slow so I always win. Sometimes when he looks out the window I peek at his cards but he doesn't know cuz he never watches me.

I went to Aunt Bella's house and Uncle E came over with silly string and we were in the yard and um, then we sprayed each other. It was sticking all over me and Aunt Bella shot it in Uncle E's ear and then he couldn't hear anything. Then he put silly string in her shirt and she kicked him cuz she said I was there and that was wrong. I don't understand what the grownups mean a lot, but I love them cuz they are goofy and we have fun together. My momma has a baby in her tummy but only me and her and Daddy know. Daddy says it's gonna be a big surprise so I can't tell anyone. I don't know why a baby would be in a belly. How do you get it in there? Momma says her belly's gonna get big and that means the baby is growing. I told her Mrs. Cheney got fat when she had a baby in her tummy too but Momma told me not to call people fat cuz it's not nice. But I wasn't trying to be mean cuz she did get fat. I'm gonna be a good big brother, because when the baby gets big, I will show it how to play Wii. I want a brother, not a sister cuz girls are mean to me at school, especially Charlotte. My Uncle E asked me if I liked Charlotte and I said that was absurd! He said I loooooved her and then I got mad and pushed him. Uncle E told me not to be mad cuz he loved Aunt Bella, but I can't tell her. My favorite color is green and I'm gonna be an astronaut cuz I want to float, or a doctor cuz my grandpa is a doctor and he makes sick people better. He said it's fulfilling, but I just think that means he likes to help the people at the hospital…maybe I can be a doctor and a astronaut and if I see a sick alien I could give him medicine and make him feel better. I think I can be an alien doctor when I grow up, cuz that would be pimp tight. That's what Uncle Emmett says when something is good. I told Grandma that I loved my life and she said "Masen Whitlock, you are a card!" I don't know what that means, but I think that made her happy. I think we all are.

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**So--how did I do?**

**Thanks for reading guys! Next installment, the night E&B saw Tanya at the club. Good stuff yall. :)**


	5. So Close, Yet So Far Away

**Here we go: Epov, the night that Tanya showed up at the club.**

**Enjoy! :)**

**Twilight=SM**

**Uncle E=Brit**

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"We need to bounce man," Jasper said.

"Why?" My brother-in-law really needed to be more observant. Private moment with my girl….hello??

"Uh yeah, I've only seen Tanya a few times when I've picked up Masen, but I'm damn sure I just saw her when I went to get a drink."

My life seemed to be fucking doomed from the get go. The night had already been completely up and down. First I drank a little more than I should have, and Bella almost did me in the middle of the dance floor (which I was all for, by the way), then we got cockblocked in the most heinous of ways. Then this pimple faced mother fucker tried to talk shit to _my_ girl, so I very nearly had to kill the little bitch. Past that, it was pure euphoria, because I was breaking up with Tanya. Tomorrow. And Bella and I were going to quit our jobs, rob a bank, go to Tahiti and hump like sexually oppressed rabbits for the rest of our existence. Well, I hadn't worked out all the details, but something along the lines of that.

I couldn't dwell on what _might be_ at that moment, because my main concern was getting the fuck out before Tanya saw me.

I winced as I thought of the unnecessary and further pain that this would cause the love of my life. She was everything to me, yet I managed to hurt her more than anyone else I knew. I was such a fucking piece of shit. "I need to get out of here before she sees me, baby. Stay with the others and I'll see you in a minute." I kissed Bella's ear softly, wishing like hell I knew the feeling of her lips against mine.

I ran. Jesus, did I give it my all. When I felt nails digging into my sides from behind, I let out a defeated sigh, letting my head fall to my chest. As she jumped into my arms, I choked back the bile rising in my throat, trying to think of anything but the look on Bella's face in that exact moment. I closed my eyes tightly, but the torment I felt for us seeped through my skin and into my soul. I couldn't wait to be done with this once and for all.

I opened my eyes long enough to see Alice dragging Bella towards the exit, and I turned Tanya in the hopes that she wouldn't notice them. But really, why the fuck would I expect anything to go my way? She looked over her shoulder and spotted my family immediately.

"Oh my God! Alice! Bella! What's up ladies?!" Tanya squealed as she threw her arms around my sister and my love.

_Hey rock? It's hard place. Whaddya say we get together and smash the shit out of Edward Cullen?_

I felt my eyes stinging. I was actually close to crying over this shit—it just wasn't right. I tried not to look directly at Bella; for fear that it would truly be the end of me. I saw my beautiful girl in my peripheral vision, and she looked…miserable of course. I always fucking made her miserable, it seemed.

Tanya let go of the girls and scooped my hand up in hers. My body was physically rejecting her touch; my hand felt like it had little insects crawling all over it. I decided to close my mind off to this situation, before I completely lost my shit. One more day, I reminded myself. Then you can do right by your girl.

The ringing in my ears made me drown out most of the words that were spoken by Tanya. However, when she said something about Kate seeing her new brother-in-law, my ears immediately perked up. What the fuck was she thinking? I don't even kiss her; she thinks we're fucking getting _married_?

Alice's eyes bore into mine. "What's she talking about Edward?" she seethed through tight lips.

"I have no idea, I assure you." My voice sounded so pathetic to me, like a beaten and crushed excuse of a man. Not altogether inaccurate.

Bella looked up at me for the first time since the encounter. I didn't want to meet her eyes for self preservation purposes, but I was physically incapable of looking away from her. I tried so desperately to prove to her with one look that she was the only girl that I would ever want. I was ready to fall to my knees, begging her not to give up on me yet.

I let go of Tanya's hand, unable to deal with the creepy crawlies any longer. Tanya was talking, but I was concentrating on the sad smile that Bella was allowing me to have. I would spend the rest of my life at her beckon call for the shit I was putting her through.

Bella asked my family if they were ready to go, and they all expressed their agreement. I had a feeling I wouldn't be joining them.

"You're going to come back to my place and tuck me in aren't you hon?" Tanya cooed suggestively at me. She slid her hand down the front of my body, and I caught it before she could cause any more damage. Evidently she was incredibly intoxicated, or she wouldn't have pulled that shit with me.

Tanya saw her sister Kate making her way towards us and dragged her to the bathroom. "Bye family!" she yelled to my siblings.

I suddenly wished I had a giant bottle of Pepto on hand when she had the nerve to call my family hers.

Not letting a minute of my window of opportunity pass me by, I grabbed Bella by the hand and rushed her out of the club.

I paced back and forth a bit, completely clueless as to what to say to make this better.

"Shit, Bella," I whispered. I had nothing.

She was silent, completely ignoring my desperate gaze. "I hate to sound like a broken record, but I _am _sorry." I was positive she couldn't comprehend just how true of a statement that was. I was sorry in every sense of the word.

She asked if I was spending the night with Tanya, and I fought back the urge to wrap her in my arms and make her see the extent of my feelings for her.

I scoffed at the idea of staying the night. I had a previous engagement, and I never break those. _Obviously._

"Hell no! I'll ride over there with them but as soon as she passes out I'm coming back to you." I held her hands tightly. "Bella, I can't handle the hurt I see in your eyes every time we have to talk about her or see her. I can't. It breaks me. I can't do this to you anymore. And I will take care of this. Just let me get her settled okay?" Please let it be okay. Don't leave me, I silently begged.

She dropped my hands abruptly, and it made my heart ache. "Do what you need to do, Edward, you know where I'll be."

At that moment I bailed back into the club. I had to get this the fuck over with.

The car ride was a silent one. Tanya was in the backseat, passed out, while Kate drove us back to Tanya's apartment.

I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my hands in my hair. I wasn't even trying to hide my anguish, I just didn't fucking care.

"What's wrong Edward, have too much to drink?" Kate laughed lightly, but I heard the strain behind it.

I shook my head, unable to make words come out of my mouth.

Kate was quiet for a moment before she let out a long breath of air. "Are you cheating on my sister?"

I pulled at my hair violently. Was I? Not yet, but I was damn close.

Before I could answer, Tanya returned from unconsciousness. "Wow, no more martinis for Tanya," she laughed.

My heart started beating really fast, like I had too much Redbull.

"Eddie what's wrong now?" she heaved. "Maybe you're the one that should be in counseling, always depressed all the time."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up," I whispered. Hey, at least I was being honest.

"Hmm, you'd think for a big strong man you'd be able to handle your liquor. Or at least touch your girlfriend. But whatever."

"Don't do this now, Tanya," I murmured.

She started in on me again, but Kate interjected. "Sister, easy on the bitch front. We'll be home soon and you can sleep it off."

I was thankful at Kate's ability to make her sister shut the hell up.

We parked in Tanya's garage and Kate and I helped her up the stairs. I walked her to her room and threw the covers over her.

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean to be a bitch to you. I just don't quite have a handle on my emotions right now," she said quietly.

"I know, Tanya. Just go to sleep. I'll talk to you later," I said dejectedly, closing the door behind me.

I plopped down in her recliner, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. A cup of coffee appeared in front of me and I took it, enjoying the warming sensation as the liquid slid down my throat.

I looked up and Kate was sitting on the couch across from me. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"I'm not cheating on her, why?" I asked flatly.

"What do you mean why?" she questioned. "Look at you! There's no reason a person should look so damn despondent when they run into their girlfriend. What's going on with you?"

I hesitated, unsure how much I should actually tell her.

"You can tell me, Edward. What we talk about in this living room will stay between us." If only Tanya could be as levelheaded as her sister.

I went on to explain the situation that was Tanya and I. I told her I was willing to help as a friend, but ending things always sent her back to square one. I was completely backed into a corner and I didn't know what to do.

When I mentioned the death of their mother, silent tears began to fall from Kate's eyes, and I immediately felt like the world's biggest douche. "Shit Kate, I'm sorry I even brought that up," I mumbled, running my hand through my hair.

"No," she sniffed. "It's all right, I asked. And I can't believe you're doing this for her, Edward. Any other guy would have taken off and said fuck all to the rest of it. I don't even know how to thank you. But I am going to apologize, because this is completely unfair to you. I've not been ignorant of the…change in my sister since our Mom died. Her moods are erratic, she seems to be in this gigantic state of denial all the time…and I could only imagine what it would be like now if you would've left months ago. I'm so worried about her; it's hard trying to be there for her when I live across the continent," she sighed.

"Well, you have a right to be concerned. I can't keep up with her emotional rollercoaster, Kate. If I don't end things soon, _my_ sanity will be completely thrown out the window."

"Is there someone else? I mean I understand how this thing is taking its toll on you, but you seem a little desperate to be done with it."

I sighed, as I felt my face soften and my eyes glaze over at the mere mention of Bella. "There's the _idea_ of someone else," I whispered, my heart rate speeding slightly. I smiled faintly as I pictured her gorgeous face, and it immediately calmed me.

"It's that _Bella girl_ isn't it?" Kate asked quietly.

I stared at the floor like I was in love with it. "That _Bella girl_ completely owns me," I murmured. Shit. I so did not mean for that to slip out. I snapped out of it, trying to recover. "We're just friends; I'm not cheating on your sister. But I won't lie to you—Bella and I have feelings for each other. I just need a clean break before I start anything with her. It wouldn't be fair to either one of them," I sighed.

Kate stayed quiet for a long time as I flipped through my phone, smiling at Bella's last text message from earlier this evening.

_I can't wait to see you tonight Edward :)_

I stared at it intently. I needed to get back to my baby.

Finally Kate spoke. "What would you say if I asked you to stick it out a bit longer?"

I scoffed. "I'm barely hanging on by a thread here, Kate. This is tearing me apart, not to mention hurting the ones I care about."

She heaved a big sigh. "I'm going to ask you for a few weeks. I need some time to work her up to this. I'll have her visit me next week; she can stay a long weekend and we'll do some bonding. I think if I handle this correctly, you'll be able to end things in a non-messy sort of way."

I sighed. I did want things to be civil when I finally did it; the last thing I wanted was to cause Tanya any more pain than necessary after all she had been through.

"God damnit," I whispered. "I don't know how much more I can take."

"I don't expect you to agree to this, after all, look at what you've done for us already. I know my sister, Edward. I really think I can make this easier if you just give me some time. Please let me try, for Tanya's sake."

"How long exactly?" I asked flatly.

"Ideally, I'd say three weeks," she said.

My eyes went huge. Was she on fucking drugs? "Three weeks? I was thinking three days, for Christ's sake!"

"I'm going to do everything I can to help you, Edward. I just need time."

I grunted in frustration, running my hands over my face roughly. "Kate, I'm going to do the best I can, but I cannot promise you three weeks. I'll try, that's the best I can do."

"I'll take it," she whispered. "I don't know how to thank you. Edward, she's the only family I have left…I just need to make sure she's going to be okay. You do understand that, right?"

"I do," I mumbled. "I need to get going though, it's getting late. Can you at least keep me posted on your progress?"

I called a cab and we exchanged numbers. I bid her goodnight and waited downstairs for the ride back to the meaning of my freaking existence.

The drive to the hotel was peaceful, and I needed it to organize my thoughts. On one hand, it was good that I was getting some assistance in this whole mess. And now at least there was a timeline. Kate had given me an out, because at the end of three weeks, I was gone. For sure, without a doubt, Tanya would not be my responsibility any longer. The hard part was on its way though, telling Bella what I had agreed to. My stomach churned and I tried to stay strong. This could very well be the night that she would leave me. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what would become of me if that were to happen.

I started hyperventilating in the elevator, and the walk to our room felt like a march to the guillotine. _Don't give up on me yet, baby._

I slid the card in the door and snuck in quietly. I chanced a look at her, curled up and facing the wall. Our conversation could wait until morning, there was no way I'd be waking her up for this.

I changed quickly and crawled in bed, staring intently at her sleeping form. The distance between her bed and mine was excruciating. And I was the dumb fuck that agreed to three more weeks of it. In that moment I wished that I could just be a normal guy and not give a shit about Tanya and her issues; at least that way I'd be curled up next to Bella right now, feeling her soft, warm skin pressed against me.

I swallowed thickly, wallowing in the self pity that I could only blame myself for.

Suddenly she turned to face me, her eyes wide open and illuminated by the glow of the alarm clock and the soft light from the open curtain. I swallowed the lump in my throat and prepared myself for the discussion that would decide my fate.

"Did you get lucky?" she asked snidely.

_Fuck, did that one sting_. I had it coming though. "No Bella," I whispered.

She asked me what happened, and being the pansy ass that I was, I attempted to put it off. "Long story. Good and bad things took place, but I can tell you tomorrow, you must be exhausted."

She shook her head forcefully. "I want to hear it, but will you please come here first?"

I felt lightheaded as she spoke those amazing words to me. She wanted me next to her, and that's the only place I've ever wanted to be. "Of course baby."

I closed the distance between us, sitting on the edge of her bed but hesitant to touch her just yet.

Her breath caught as her eyes raked over my bare chest, blatantly ogling me. I caressed her cheek and smiled, trying to break the tension with some humor. "You want me to put a shirt on? I know it must be hard to concentrate with all this hotness in front of you."

She rolled her eyes at me and told me to get over myself. Ah, just one of the thousands of reasons why I loved her so incredibly much.

"Will you hug me?" her words were quiet, but pleading. Like she ever had to ask for such a thing from me.

I couldn't speak, for fear of spilling the truth of my feelings for her. As much as I wanted to scream from the rooftops that I was in love with Bella Swan, I just couldn't do it. Not only would it make the next three weeks that much more difficult to endure, I had no right to even say things like that to her. And if she didn't feel the same way…well let's just say I didn't need another method of scaring her off; I already had plenty.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly against me. I hummed in contentment as her soft form molded into my body. It was in these moments that I actually felt like a whole person. Eventually, I found my words again. "I wish we could just disappear," I whispered. "Somewhere we could just be together and not feel guilty or weighed down."

She sighed, and I felt her anxiety rolling off of her in waves. I winced and closed my eyes as she broke our embrace; I needed the strength from her touch for what was about to go down.

She told me to spill it, so I did. I told her everything that happened, everything I agreed to. She asked how much longer and I confessed to the hell we would have to undergo for nearly another month. I had a feeling deep down that I was fooling myself; I couldn't believe I would wait three weeks, it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge when it came to Bella.

After I finished explaining what had happened in the last few hours of my life, I held my breath, welcoming the pain I felt in my lungs as I denied them the air they craved. It was the moment of truth; love me or leave me, my beautiful Bella.

"So three more weeks and you're mine?"

I almost cried out in happiness at the playful smile she had on her pouty lips. She was going to stick with me, at least for now. It was more than I ever could have asked for. "I'm yours already Bella, but in three weeks I'll be completely and utterly yours, you can do whatever you wish with me."

As my fear subsided, I took a moment to really look at Bella. Her little white tank top was tight, showing me the beautiful curve of her perfectly round breasts. They were just the right size for my hands, and in three weeks, I was going to fucking prove it.

She shifted further towards me, causing her shirt to ride up, exposing her belly button. I closed my eyes and inhaled, thinking of how gratifying it would be to run my tongue across it.

I felt myself getting harder with each errant thought I had of Bella. I was attempting to think about baseball and Grandma until she ran her nails through my hair, gazing up at me with pure sex in her eyes. My erection wasn't going anywhere after she drug her fingers through my hair and looked at me like I was something she wanted to devour.

"Three weeks then," she whispered, her voice sultry.

I groaned unintentionally. Fuck, this girl would be the absolute death of me. "The longest three weeks of my life, I bet."

"Damn, this is going to be hard," she thought out loud.

"Don't I know it," I said, looking down at the colossal tent I was unabashedly pitching.

Bella's eyes followed down my body and landed on my lap. I suppressed a moan when her eyes glazed over and she licked her lips. I had to restrain myself when I saw her hand twitch out towards me. Fuckin' A, if she wanted it, she sure as hell wouldn't have to ask twice.

Damn. I had three weeks to go, and I didn't even want to wait three _seconds_.

Her eyes met mine as her face shifted from lust to humor. "Edward Cullen, get out of my bed with your boner! I'm just going to want to touch it, and no good can come from that."

She smacked me, and the sound of our skin colliding made me think of another way it could be slapping together. I swallowed thickly and leaned in closer to my sweet girl. "I'm sure plenty good would _come_ from that, baby."

She moved in closer still, and I knew we were in dangerous territory. "Get in your own bed and stop torturing me, you ass."

I threw my hands up in surrender. I had to get away from her anyway; I had three weeks to keep my horn dog ways in check. Hey, miracles can happen…you don't know!

I kissed her hand, dragging my open mouth across her skin before letting go. My lips tingled from her touch as I crawled into my own bed and gazed at my love. It was cold and empty in my bed, and damn near unbearable to be that far away from her. I knew I had to just suck it up and deal with it though.

In that moment, I felt the unbridled urge to tell her how I felt without giving away the farm. She needed to know that she was special, not just a conquest to me. "Bella, I may act like a huge perv half of the time, but you _do_ understand how I feel about you, don't you?"

She smiled shyly, looking all cute and adorable. I physically had to hold myself back from going to her side once again.

"I don't know, I think so," she whispered.

I beamed at her, shaking my head. Sweet, Bella. If she had any idea how completely and utterly in love with her I was she'd probably run out of our hotel room, screaming in terror. "Nah, I don't think you do."

"I know how I feel about you," she murmured.

_God help me. Just, fucking help me_. "You compare a tree to an entire forest."

"Pshh, whatever you don't know," she teased.

"Pshh, you don't know either," I mimicked.

I yawned loudly, smiling hazily at my beautiful girl.

"Goodnight Edward, I…"

As she hesitated in the middle of her sentence, I saw a flicker of panic cross her face. I had a hunch on what she wanted to say, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't think I could ever be that lucky for one, and for two, I didn't want her to have any hesitation or doubt when she did say those words to me.

I took a chance, hinting just a bit at the way I really felt about her. "I do too, Bella. More than you know. Sweet dreams baby."

She didn't say anything after my little comment, but she smiled and sighed contently before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep.

I stayed awake for awhile longer, studying the woman that I certainly did not deserve. One thing was for sure, I was a fuck face, and I would spend the rest of my life graveling for that girl if she would let me.

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**Whatcha think of that??**

**So I don't know what's going to be next, maybe you can help me decide?**

**A. The Souljaboy/Esme-Carlisle day**

**B. The non-sex sex**

**The epov non-sex sex is happening either way, so basically I'm just asking if I should write A or skip it.**

**I will accept your vote in the form of a review. :D Thanks guys!**

**Oh, side note: Around chapter 6, a thread was started for SADT over on Twilighted. Well it never really took off, and I never really pushed it. But I was thinking, maybe we could get that up and running? I'll give teasers, and I'm willing to discuss just about anything.....so if you're interested, check it out here: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=4148#p472374**


	6. Soulja Boy and Shakespeare

**It was a close race, but the soulja boy beat out the non-sex sex. There are no losers, however, because the non-sex sex will be the next thing I submit for epov. yay. :)**

**Thanks to Isabel. I could express my gratitude more, but I just don't have words for it anymore. She's amazing, for real.**

**Twilightzoner for her fast validation and wisdom.**

**Twilight isn't mine, Soulja Boy isn't mine, Shakespeare isn't mine. Man, I don't have ANYTHING! **

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There were 472 bumps in one tile on the ceiling of my hotel room, and I was tired as fuck.

There were several factors that attributed to my insomniatic state (_Insomniatic_ is totally a word, don't judge me). First of all, I had a pretty heavy night last night. Second, Bella was in the next bed over, and the girl was saying things in her sleep. Things I couldn't hear, but damn, was I trying. Third, my brain just wouldn't turn off. I'd been going over the mess of crap in my head all night. I _still_ didn't have a solution to my problems. Grin and bear it, I suppose. _Nah, fuck grinning_.

"Edward," Bella murmured incoherently. A slew of mumbles came out after that, and I groaned. What the hell was she dreaming about?! Throwing caution to the wind, I tip-toed like a cartoon character to her bed, and sat down gently. At least she was under the covers and I was over them, which helped my restraint exponentially.

I settled in and lay on my side, my head resting in my hand. She started turning again, inching just that much closer to me. I breathed deeply, inhaling her sweet scent that always seemed to calm me. I leaned closer to her, because I'm a greedy bastard that way. "Love you," she murmured. My heart skipped, and I pressed my nose into her hair, breathing her in further. I kissed her hair softly. "I love you Bella," I whispered.

It took everything in me not to wrap my arms around her, but I resisted. We had a long road ahead of us, and I needed to make it as easy as possible for us. "Fuck," she whispered breathlessly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

_Fuck what?_

"Fuck me, Edward," she whimpered. _Well shit_. Apparently my girl had psychic abilities. And dude, she just said _fuck me Edward_.

_I'm_ Edward! HA! Can you believe that shit?! I pumped my fists in the air in celebration, psyched that Bella wanted me like I wanted her.

"Touch me," she whispered.

My ears and my cock perked up at her sultry tone. I leaned down, running two fingers up and down the inside of her arm. "I'll touch you soon baby, I promise."

She rolled closer, flailing her arm over and effectively whacking me in the head. I chuckled, rubbing my forehead. "Fine, maybe I won't," I laughed quietly.

Just then she wrapped her arms around me, laying her face on my chest. I sighed deeply at how perfect it felt. "Yes I will," I whispered softly. "I didn't mean it Bella." I leaned into her soft curves, against my better judgment.

I closed my eyes and laid my head on hers, ready to catch up on the sleep I neglected for most of the night. Until I felt her soft, wet lips press against my neck. I half hissed, half moaned. It felt so damn good. So what do I do when I feel like I might spontaneously bust a nut? I make a joke of course.

"Bella, I've never had a friend of mine manhandle me so blatantly before. I feel dirty, really," I whispered closely. I was beginning to think I was a bit of a creeper for talking to and rubbing up on unconscious girls.

Suddenly she sat straight up and threw the covers off of her, scaring the ever living shit right out of me. Once my heart settled back down to a normal rhythm, I couldn't help but beam at her. I didn't think I had ever seen her reach this level of cuteness. Her hair was all wild, sticking up in every different direction. Her eyes were wide in confusion, looking a little panicked. She was adorable.

"Edward? What are you doing over here?" she scolded.

I played the innocence card. "Hey, I was just trying to get a closer listen to all the amazing things that were coming out of your mouth while you were sleeping, and then all of a sudden you attacked me!"

She was mortified, of course, but she had no reason to be. I loved it. She asked what she had said, but I obviously wasn't going to tell her. I shrugged, not being able to hide my smile as I thought back to the things she said. _Love_ and _fuck_--was there ever a better combination than that?

"All about you right?" she asked, her hands covering her beautiful face.

I felt bad for laughing at her, but I just couldn't help it. "Yeah, it was cute though. Kinda kinky too. I really didn't think you had it in you, Bella. I'm impressed."

She smacked me, and I totally deserved it. I decided to stop with the teasing. I was ready for the touch of her skin, the look of love in her big doe eyes, and the sound she made when I made her breath catch.

"Oh come on now," I sighed, sitting up against the headboard. I closed the unnecessary distance between us, pulling her tighter against me. "Do you know how happy it makes me when I get to hear how you feel about me? You have no idea Bella," I whispered, running my fingers through her long hair.

She sighed against me and I felt the familiar fluttering sensation in my stomach. I wasn't sure what it was, but I think it was directly linked to Bella and my heart; you couldn't have one without the other.

I reluctantly pulled myself away from her to take a shower. I needed to wake up, and I definitely didn't need to gross her out with my morning breath.

I grabbed some clothes from my bag and walked into the bathroom. I disrobed in one swift motion and turned the water on as hot as it would go. I climbed in the shower and leaned my head against the cool tile as the room filled with steam. This whole thing was getting ridiculous, but I just didn't want to think about my burdening situation anymore. If I had my way, I was going to spend the whole day with Bella, and I didn't want to darken it with all the shit I was saddled with. I decided that when I got home my Bella haze would be lifted somewhat, and I would start thinking clearly. All I knew was that I would keep going with the pretense of three weeks. But deep down I knew it was bullshit. I could keep on fooling myself, but there was no point to it. _We wouldn't make it three weeks_. I'd give it a shot, but who the fuck was I trying to kid? I gave it a week before I kicked Tanya's ass to the curb and made Bella mine. I was starting not to give a shit more and more each day.

My mind drifted to my Bella, just a wall separating the love of my life and my naked body. I didn't think she'd stop me if I gave into my passion for her, but she'd hate herself later for caving. I couldn't do that to her. No other woman in the history of women had turned me on the way Bella did. I was almost always at full mass in her presence. And now, being naked and mere feet away from her was no exception. I thought about jerking it real quick to bring relief to my ever-aching blue balls, but I decided against it. For one, it would be kind of pervy with her right outside, and two, I was going to start chaffing if I didn't take it easy on myself. Hey, I had to make it through this somehow, right?

I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself dry before getting dressed. I looked in the foggy mirror quickly and brushed my teeth before doing my daily hair styling. That consisted of taking both hands and rubbing them through my hair really, really fast. So what if it made me look like a homeless person? The ladies ate that shit up. Well, _my_ lady did anyway.

I stepped out of the bathroom and met a pair of big brown eyes looking up at me from my bed.

I smiled at her widely. "Hey, that's my bed," I said softly.

She grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, it smells like you over here."

She stood up and I wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

She moaned and it killed me. "You smell so good babes."

I was going to throw her down on that bed, I swear to Christ. I kissed her head once more before holding her out at arm's length. "Go take a shower, you little vixen."

She ran away giggling, as she muttered, "your fault."

I laughed, running a hand through my wet hair and staring off into space. I fucking loved that girl hardcore.

I started gathering my things up, and then I heard the shower turn on. I swallowed violently as I envisioned what that bathroom door was hiding from me. I started humming to distract myself, until I heard a bottle drop against the floor of the shower, and a distant "damnit" being muttered. I was really doing okay until I thought about her bending over to pick up that bottle, and then I was shaking like a meth addict going through withdrawals. I closed my eyes, imagining myself walking up behind her wet and glorious body, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her against me forcefully. "Fuck!" I whispered viciously to myself. I couldn't start the day out like this, because I knew the intensity of my daydreams would never lessen. I needed my iPod. I flipped through my playlists, looking for something light and fluffy to take my mind off of that sexy girl who was _very _naked and _very_ close. I finally landed on a playlist that Alice made, and figured that one would be safe.

"IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS—"

_Fucking Alice. Fucking Spicegirls._

I clicked to the next song, and it was _Kiss Me Thru the Phone_. I loved that song but I sure as hell wouldn't admit that to anyone. It was just what I needed. I stared out the window, checking out the view of the city and the blue sky I so rarely got to see. I smiled widely. I didn't know what we'd be doing today, but as long as Bella was a part of it, all was well with the world. I started singing along because I was a reject, and for the time being, I was happy. I was just about to break out my dance moves before I heard a noise behind me. I turned around quickly and there was my girl, laughing at me uncontrollably. Eh, she couldn't embarrass me.

I danced up to her slowly, singing my corny rap song. She could look at me like I was a loser all she wanted; I knew she loved that shit.

I went on and on, and her laughter never stopped. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and rolled my eyes at myself. "You love me even though I'm a dork huh?"

Bella's eyes connected with mine, and I saw pure affection staring back at me. "No, I love you _because_ you're a dork. And how do you know I love you?" she asked, her hands firmly planted on her hips.

"Oh I know," I smiled smugly, bobbing along to the music.

She walked away from me shyly, that beautiful blush just starting to light up her skin. She sat down on her bed and began running her brush through her chestnut brown hair. I suddenly envisioned that very sight, except a little girl with curly bronze hair was running up to her. _Holy. Fucking. Hell_. Where did _that _come from? I had never thought about having a kid. Not _really_ anyway. Maybe someone slipped me a roofie last night or something…hallucinating and shit. My vision was pretty damn terrifying, but it kind of made me feel…what was it….enthusiastic? Hopeful? I didn't know. All I knew was that I needed to be closer to her.

I smirked, creeping up on her like a lion ready to pounce.

"She call my phone like da da dadadadada da….."

Bella scooted back on the bed as I kneeled on either side of her legs before lowering myself inches away from her body. Her smile was playful, but her eyes were smoldering. As she looked up at me from beneath her lashes, a million racy images ran through my mind.

"We on the phone like da da dadadadada da…"

I ran my nose along her neck and shoulder as I heard her breathing catch in my ear. _Fuck, I loved that_. My eyes met hers briefly, and I knew this was going to happen, because I didn't feel like being good any longer. Her breathing picked up and that put a stop to any self-control I ever had. I licked my lips and lowered them to her ear. Time to bring it on home.

"We taking pics like da da—"

"GET OFF OF HER EDWARD!!!"

_Fucking Alice. Fucking cockblocking._

I reluctantly climbed off of Bella, lowering myself next to her on the bed. I asked Ali how she got in our room and she explained that they gave her keys to all the rooms since they were in her name._ Fan-fucking-tastic._

"Looks like I came in the nick of time," my little sister taunted.

I caught Bella's eye and forgot about anything else. "Nah, I was just serenading her with a little Soulja Boy," I murmured.

Ali made fun of me for my womanizing skills, but I thought it was working just fine, damnit.

Bella grabbed my arm, and my skin tingled in the most amazing way. "I loved it," she whispered, her eyes full of sweetness. I stared back at her with what I'm sure was a _fool in love_ expression. But that's what I was, after all.

Alice started talking and ruined our moment, causing me to sigh dolefully.

"What are you doing in here Alice?" Bella yelled, as threatening as an angry kitten. So fucking cute. "What if I wasn't decent?"

I snorted. You very nearly weren't, my dear Bella.

Alice went on to explain that Mom and Dad wanted us over for brunch. When she said they wanted Bella to come, I could have hopped up on the bed and done the sprinkler, I was so damn happy.

Bella's face fell in apprehension, and I needed to resolve that immediately.

"Uh, I met your Mom once when she came to pick up Masen…." Bella uttered hesitantly.

"Well you better buck up kid," Alice wanksta'd. "Carlisle and Esme are ecstatic over meeting the infamous Bella. Between Edward, Masen and I, we never shut up about you."

I chortled. That was the understatement of the century. I wondered if Bella knew just how adored she was by the Cullen/Whitlock clan.

Bella looked at me, her eyes wide. "Do they know…about all this?"

I kissed her hand softly, trying to reassure her. "They know the gist. They know I'm crazy about you but I think as far as they're concerned, we have a pretty '_formal_' friendship."

My parents didn't entirely know the mess that was my love life. They knew I didn't want to be with Tanya, but was staying for the time being until the therapy started taking effect. They knew that Bella and I were friends and that I was pretty much head over heels for her. Past that, there was nothing they _needed_ to know.

We started packing and Alice left us, finally. Bella was flying around the room grabbing her things, and I could tell she was still freaking out. I grasped her wrist and pulled her to me, wrapping myself around her as much as I could. "Hey," I murmured.

She gazed up at me, looking very anxious. All because she would be meeting _my_ parents. I fell just a little bit deeper in love with her in that moment. I ran my fingertips along the side of her face. "Baby, please calm down," I soothed. "Everything will be fine, I promise."

She sighed deeply and tightened her grip on me. "Thank you," she muttered against my chest.

_Anything for you baby. Absolutely anything._

We met up with the rest of the family at the front desk. Emmett nudged Bella. "Nice pack mule, B. Is that why you keep him around?"

She smiled softly but said nothing, still obviously on edge.

I readjusted so both of our bags were on one shoulder, and grabbed Bella's hand. "This is called being a gentleman, assface. Maybe you should try it some time."

Rose walked up and flicked Emmett's ear. "Yeah!" she loudly agreed.

He scooped up Rose's bag. "Thanks for getting me in trouble, Doucheward."

I laughed. "That was all you, Brother."

I pulled Bella's arm behind me and she held onto my waist tightly. "Climb in back with me again, baby?"

"Duh," she said in an obvious tone.

I breathed a sigh of relief. There was my feisty girl. I was thrilled to see that she was acting a bit more like herself.

The drive to my parent's house took about a half an hour, and I was glad for it. I needed time to think. I'd known for a long time that I was in love with Bella. But this weekend had changed the way things were between us. We went from hardcore flirting and sneaking innocent looks to this full-fledged emotional connection that I could no longer suppress. I may have loved her before, but the way I felt now was staggering. This was real, and now that I was sure of it, something had to be done. I kept my arm around Bella as I played with her hair. I had no idea that you could actually feel like this for a person. I mean yeah, you find a pretty girl, you fall in love, yadda yadda. But was it so earth shattering for everyone? Was it so completely consuming that you feel like you can't survive without that person? If everyone was so passionately in love like this, how would anything ever get done? I knew deep down that Bella and I were lucky to find each other, and if she wanted me, she was going to have me. No questions asked. I was breaking up with Tanya and I had to think of a way to ease into it. _Three weeks was not fucking happening._

I thought about it a long time, and I decided that in the following week, I'd spend my every waking hour on making our break up clean and easy. I didn't have the kinks worked out just yet, but I was going to make it happen. Bella was my life now, and nothing mattered to me any longer but her.

"Alice, do I look okay?" Bella asked timidly.

Ali smiled sweetly at her. "You look beautiful Bella, I love that jacket because I made you buy it, and the color brings out your eyes."

I pulled her closer to me. "She's right you know," I whispered softly, kissing her temple.

She smiled tenderly at me.

_I love you._

Emmett turned into my parent's driveway, and I stretched. Bella trembled. I wished she would realize that she had absolutely nothing to worry about. My family was amazing, and they knew how much she meant to me.

We got out of the car and I wrapped Bella's hand in mine.

She looked up at me in alarm. "Um, should we be doing that?"

"Does it look like I care baby?" I smiled.

I could tell it was making her uncomfortable, so I let go of her hand and opted for running my fingertips up and down her back as we walked. It made her shiver, so I apologized.

"No, that was a good shiver," she whispered in my ear, standing on her tip toes.

I groaned. _She killed me again_.

Masen came shooting out the front door like a cannon ball before jumping in my arms. I gave him a hug and ruffled his hair before he jumped on Bella and everyone else. He was such a little monkey.

My nephew grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her up the stairs of the porch. "Aunt Bella, this is my Grandma and my Grandpa. They let me play on the piano. Do you want to hear me?"

Bella nodded at him as I beamed. The little guy loved the piano, thanks to his kick ass uncle.

"Grandpa this is my Aunt Bella," Masen continued at a mile a minute. "She's my teacher and she comes to see me and Momma and Daddy at home too. And her and Uncle E watch me at Uncle E's house so that's why I call her Aunt Bella, cuz we all love her."

I watched as Bella and my parents introduced themselves, realizing I probably should have been the one to do that, not the four year old.

I could see that gleam in my mother's eye. She approved already. I made eye contact with my dad and realized I was still grinning like an idiot. He just shook his head at me, but smiled earnestly. It was a hell of a moment for me, to say the least.

We walked into the house and everyone pretty much broke apart. Except for Bella and I. We were never breaking apart, if I had my way. Masen dragged us to the piano and I plopped him in my lap as Bella and I sat down.

He started playing _Mary Had a Little Lamb_, an oldie but a goodie.

"Wow you're good little man. Who taught you to play like that?" Bella praised.

"Uncle E did. When I get to be five he says I can learn some more, right?" Masen looked up at me excitedly. He and Bella both had the power to melt me, but in very different ways.

"That's right buddy," I said, running a hand through his hair.

He got bored of us quickly and ran off to find his grandpa.

I sighed deeply, realizing that Bella and I were alone now. I absentmindedly started stroking the keys of the piano.

"I was wondering if I was ever going to hear you play." Her voice was soft, her eyes were deep, _and I was hers._

I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. I mean fuck, this was a lot of emotional shit for a guy. So I played one of the lame jingles I wrote for work.

Her piercing gaze effectively put a stop to that. And I wanted to stop. Because when she looked at me like that, I completely surrendered to the feelings that threatened to take me over.

She placed her hand over my heart, and I was positive it would burst. "No, play me something that comes from here," she murmured.

Without thinking, I played the one thing I told myself I wouldn't play for her until it was complete. Every night I couldn't be with her, every night I had to be away was a night that I was playing this melody in my head. I worked the chords over and over in my brain until they screamed Bella. This song stood for the overpowering love I had for her, and the anguish I felt over not being enough for her. It was her beauty, her kindness, and our pain all rolled into one. The song wasn't complete yet, because I didn't know how our story would end.

I knew now. I knew that no matter what, we would be together, because I refused to do this without her. I refused to exist without her. And with the power of that knowledge, I played with all that I had, hoping she would understand everything she was to me.

I stopped playing when I realized I had forgotten to breathe in and out. "Just a little something I'm working on. It's not finished yet," I whispered.

I lifted my eyes from the keyboard to look at Bella. Her eyes were watering, and the look on her face told me everything I needed to know. I was not in this alone; we would be walking over this threshold together. And there was no going back after this, because we were in love. It didn't need to be said, because we were wrapped in it. In that exact moment, everything was so clear. Epiphany? Yeah, you could say that.

I stole a line from _the_ W—the man who knew love better than most. "The course of true love never did run smooth."

Her breath was bated, and her eyes glazed over for a split second. "William Shakespeare," she murmured.

_Damn_, she was good.

I licked my lips and swallowed a few times, the moisture completely gone from the inside of my mouth. My family, the house, Seattle, the world had all disappeared. There was just Bella and I on a piano bench, floating in a sea of whiteness. It was all I ever needed, and I was ready to do something I had yearned for since I met her. I was going to learn how her lips felt against mine. I was going to know every birthmark, every mole, every inch of her skin, because we were a part of each other, and that could never be seen as _wrong_. I leaned forward, ready to dive in head first. I just prayed it was what she wanted too.

I really believed it was.

But I heard someone clear their voice behind us, and in an instant the world/Seattle/house/family all came crashing down around us quite violently. I turned around quickly, trying to bring myself back to earth. When I realized it was my mother, I casually stretched my arms, trying to regain some feeling in my body.

"I'm sorry kids, I didn't mean to interrupt, but lunch is ready if you want to come on out." My mom looked like she was feeling guilty about the disruption, so I smiled reassuringly and told her we'd be right out.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to ready myself to be around others again. I ran my hand up and down Bella's thigh, and she grasped it in both of hers. We smiled at each other, and I was glad no one was around. My brothers would have given me some serious shit for the sap I had undoubtedly become.

We began walking out of the room hand in hand until Bella stopped abruptly, pulling me back to her. She laid her forehead against my arm. "I just need a minute," she whispered.

After having a life altering moment only seconds ago, I really needed to have her in my arms. I turned her and encircled her completely, holding her as tightly as I could. I knew the words were going to be too much too fast, and I didn't fucking care one bit. "Three weeks is nothing compared to the rest of our lives Bella."

It was starting to hurt me. The pain I felt knowing that I saddened her so much was eating at me from the inside out. I had a plan that I would be putting into effect as soon as possible, but it just wasn't quick enough. She was worth so much more, and I had kept her waiting for so long. I hated myself for it.

"I'm okay now. I guess I'm just not used to being so overwhelmed with emotion all the time." She smiled up at me and I pushed my issues to the side. It was all about her from here on out.

"I'm not either baby. To say we are intense would be an understatement. I love it though. I crave it. I crave _you_."

If she only knew how much.

We walked out to the patio and settled in for brunch. I tried to carry on a conversation with my father, but I honestly couldn't hear a word he was saying. Who could form sentences or thoughts when the sun bounced off of Bella's creamy skin in such a way?

She put her hand on my knee and I closed my eyes. _What a fucking day_.

Just then Ali, Jasper, and Masen stood up, and I had a feeling of what was coming next. I grinned happily. As they announced that they were expecting, I tried to act surprised. Masen was so proud of himself for "not telling anyone," that I couldn't rain on his parade. Hey, he's four, and who better to tell than me? I winked at Masen, and he attempted to wink back. But since he didn't know how, he just opened and closed both eyes really fast. The kid was too much.

I clapped Jazz on the back. "Congrats, buddy."

"Thanks _Uncle E_," he teased. We high-fived and I pulled him in for a quick man hug. I was pretty fortunate in the brother-in-law department.

I glanced over at Bella and Ali as they held each other in a tearful embrace. I looked on in wonder. Holy shit, this was my family now. _Bella was a part of my family._ I couldn't fuck this up. No way, no how.

Emmett grabbed my shoulders from behind. "Looks like everything's coming together, huh man?"

I turned around and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, it really is. Knuckle."

We bumped knuckles and he told me to stop trying to turn him emo. Yeah, it was a damn good thing he didn't see the way I acted with Bella. A damn good thing.

I turned around and met Alice's gaze. "Yes big brother, you're going to be the Godfather."

"Well it's only fair, Emmett got Masen," I said, pretending to act like a jerk.

She told me not to be a prick, and I stood up to hug her tightly. "I'm just kidding Ali. I'm honored, and you know it."

There was commotion all around us. Masen spilled his milk and started crying because he felt bad. Mom was cleaning up the mess while Alice was trying to calm him down. Rose and Emmett were sucking each other's faces off, oblivious to the seven other people surrounding them. Jasper and Dad were talking passionately about some kind of birthing whatever. And Bella and I were staring at each other again, with silent words that spoke volumes. I shook my head slightly at her and she laughed.

I leaned in and kissed her ear over and over again. "Thank you, Bella," I whispered between kisses.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, her arms were around me. And all was right with the world.

*************************************

The table was cleared, the dishes were done, and the kid was cranky. It was time for us to call it a day.

Masen was curled up on the couch watching Bear, and I gave him a hug goodbye. "Tell Uncle Emmett to drive fast, cuz I wanna go home," he whined.

I grinned. "Grandma will drop you off at home and wait with you 'til Momma and Daddy get there, buddy. You'll survive."

He shrugged and went back to the TV.

I walked to the entry way of the house, where everyone was saying their goodbyes. My eyes immediately went to Bella and my mother, who were embracing tightly. My mom looked like she was going to cry, and Bella wasn't far behind her. _Huh_.

Just then my dad clapped me on the back. "Are you doing all right, Edward?"

I sighed. "I am, Dad. I'm just trying to get everything worked out."

"You love that girl," he said with an all-knowing smirk.

There was no point in denying it. "Very much," I murmured, still watching her talk with my mother.

"I know you're trying to do the right thing, Son. But are you willing to jeopardize what you could have with Bella for something that you don't even want?" My dad thought he was so clever just because he had a doctorate. Whatever.

I ran my hand through my hair. "No, I won't lose her over this. It's going to be done with soon, and I'll make it right with Bella. I swear I will."

My dad put his arm around me. "I know you will, Son. I'm here, if you need to talk. I'm sure it's easier to talk with Alice about this type of thing, but I'm here too."

I hugged him. "Thanks, Dad. It's just something I need to work out on my own."

We walked towards the door and I kissed my mother on the cheek. "What was all that with Bella?" I asked as I gave her a hug.

"Edward, I think she is absolutely amazing, honey," she said, kissing my cheek. Her expression was soft until it changed rather abruptly. "Don't screw it up," she said harshly, poking my chest with her index finger.

I laughed, assuring her I wouldn't. How someone was so sweet and so blunt, I would never know.

Bella was walking in front of me and I caught up to her, placing my hand on the small of her back. "What was going on with you and my mother?" One of these women had better tell me what the hell was going on.

She stopped in her tracks and said in a very determined voice, "I want you to meet my mom and dad."

_Yes._

I grinned like a maniac. "I would love to meet your parent's Bella. Name the date, and I'm there."

I felt the fluttering in my stomach again as she gazed up at me. I linked our fingers together and held them between us.

Her voice was shaky, but fierce as she spoke. "Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service."

"William Shakespeare," I murmured. I slowly leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead, closing my eyes tightly as the whiteness began to surround us once again.

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**Aww he's going from a cynic to a romantic. At least he's still his deliciously sarcastic self!**

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	7. The Emancipation of Edward Cullen

**Hi there!**

**Are you ready for one big loooooooong lemon??**

**I thought you might be. ;)**

**Reminder: This is the non-sex sex night--if you don't like the sexy times, this isn't for you.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Isabel, since this is her favorite chapter, and she's in love with Uncle E. :D I WOO-HOO for you woman. Seriously don't know what I'd do without you.**

**Twilightzoner is the fastest validation beta in the west. Or the East? Where ya from TZ?**

**Shout out to my forum girls, Love ya!!**

**Twilight belongs to SM**

**P.S. Bella's ringtone is Sexy Love by Ne-Yo: ****http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=kVM7Xx1YcO0**

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Would I ever fall asleep again?

I lay in bed, staring at the ever-mocking ceiling. Maybe if I tacked a picture of Bella up there, I could at least enjoy myself during my long and restless nights. I glanced at my phone once again, urging it to ring. I was waiting an eternity for it to bring me my baby on the other end of the line. I rubbed my stomach roughly, trying to make the incessant pain subside. I wondered if this was what a bleeding ulcer felt like. I needed to take care of Bella first, and then I'd seek medical attention.

It was a long and painful week, to say the least. I hadn't seen Bella since the day I had her in my bed. After tomorrow afternoon, I planned to make her a permanent fixture there. My stomach twisted in anticipation at the thought. I ended up spending more time than normal with Tanya this week. Basically, it sucked ass. It was difficult being away from Bella for so long. Well, difficult was the biggest understatement of the fucking century. The general idea was to feel out Tanya's level of sanity, and slowly make her realize that we were just not compatible as a couple. I talked a lot about how I didn't know where my life was going. I mentioned joining this music program abroad. I talked about getting out of Seattle and away from my family so I could find out who I really was. It was all bull shit of course. I knew exactly who I was, but if I made it more about me and less about her, it could potentially mean a smoother break up. She was okay for the most part, and to my surprise, she didn't even try to get on me. She _did_ get pissy when I talked about leaving the country. But her eyes lit up when we talked about the idea of her moving to Baltimore to be near Kate. It was times like that where it made me wonder why the hell she clung to me the way she did. Overall Tanya seemed pretty even-tempered, but I still felt like something was "off." I just couldn't put my finger on what that something was. Needless to say, I missed Bella so fucking much it hurt. Especially after the intense and life-altering moment we shared at my parents last weekend. But I was doing this for us, and it was absolutely imperative to get Tanya out of the picture.

I talked to Bella earlier in the day, and her voice sent waves of relief throughout my body. I didn't realize how tense I actually was until I let her soothing tone wash over me. She said she missed me, and I _pined_ for her. When she asked me to go out with her and Jake, I almost caved. But I was in the final leg of this operation, and I couldn't afford any weak spots, _because it had to work._

I had a plan, and it was a fucking brilliant one if I do say so myself. I was driving Tanya to the airport. I would pull her to the side and break up with her in a very gentlemanly way. Then she would board her plane to Baltimore, off to stay with Kate for five days. Her sister would support her, ease her pain, and maybe make her realize the charade our relationship actually was. Finally things were going to work out for Bella and I. _Finally._

I hadn't told Bella what I was up to for two reasons. One, I wanted to spare her any further heartache if this plan came back to bite me in the ass. And two, I wanted it to be a surprise.I wanted to arrive on her doorstep tomorrow a completely eligible man. My plan was well thought out. I would give her a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers I could find. I would confess to her just how passionately in love with her I was, wrapping her in my arms and bringing my mouth inches from hers. I would whisper that I broke up with Tanya, and beg her to be with me. Beg her to forgive me and love me. To never leave my side again. I would kiss her deeply and lovingly, and we would give into our need for each other. I'd scoop her up in my arms, carry her to her room, and prove to her just how much she meant to me. With my mouth and my hands and everything I had to offer. I'd finally be allowed to give her all of me. I felt my cock harden in my basketball shorts at the thoughts of what tomorrow could bring. _Would bring_.

"_She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, just one touch…." _

I dove for my phone, laughing giddily as I heard Bella's ringtone. "Mmmm…there's my girl," I murmured, snuggling with my pillow as I anticipated the sound of her angelic voice.

"Hey gorgeous, whatcha wearing?"

_Fuck me_. This was going to be a painful conversation for my nether-regions, I could tell already. I asked her what had her all worked up (not that I was complaining) and she told me all about her night. Jake took her to the fucking strip club. I felt a pang of jealousy run through me, but eh. It was cool I guess; she needed some entertainment, after all. When she told me she wanted to get _me_ in a thong, I was going to tell her she was out of her beautiful mind.

I rolled my eyes at myself. Like I would _ever_ fucking deny her anything. "Bella, a month ago I would have said _hell no_, but now that I know better, it's obvious that your wish is my command."

"Pussy whipped and not even getting it," she breathed all sex-kitten like.

"Don't remind me," I replied gruffly. Like I need any further reminder that I wasn't getting the one thing my body was aching to have from her. "What are you wearing?" I asked softly. I was in the mood to play.

I palmed my erection forcefully after she told me what she had on. My girl didn't need to be dressed up to render me to speechless. Bella in pajamas easily brought me to my knees. I left my hand sitting on my cock, tempted to relieve a little more pressure. Note to self: Seek medical help for a possible bleeding ulcer, _and_ permanent blood flow to the penis.

I had to see her. Fuck thinking with my head. It was time to let my heart and my dick make decisions for me. I asked her if she missed me. She answered with a raspy and sad "Horribly."

I begged her to let me come over, but even through her alcohol induced desires, she stood strong. She was _so_ much stronger than me. I knew I had to bust out the big guns: my sweet and charming words. My voice was low and full of adoration as I spoke. "Just come to the door and let me kiss your forehead. And I'll only run my fingers through your hair one time. I'll just get lost in your big brown eyes for a minute, tops. And I promise to hold you and breathe in the scent of your neck for a second and then you can tell me to leave…."

She was quiet on the other end of the line, and I knew she was thinking about it. Hell, we didn't have to push the boundaries of our "friendship," even though I really fucking wanted to. I just needed to see her perfect face. I wanted her body heat on me, because I was always so cold without it. She was my only heat source. My sun, my light….my fucking _warmth_. I didn't want to be cold anymore.

"It's not a good idea baby," she whispered.

Damn, I loved it when she called me baby. She didn't do it often, but when she did….God help me.

She heaved a big sigh, and I listened closely as I heard her breathing quiver slightly. Oh hell no, she was not going to cry because of me any fucking more. "What's wrong Bella?"

Her crying intensified as she asked me through her tears to make her happy. I flipped over on my back and threw my arm over my eyes, bracing myself as the familiar crushing sensation washed over me. My body tensed as I listened to my Bella fall apart on the other end of the line. I closed my eyes tightly and winced; I literally could not handle her being sad anymore. My mind scrambled, trying to think of anything that might bring her some sort of happiness. "The song I played for you at my parents? I'm writing it for _you_. It's all about _you_ baby. Every fiber of my god damned being is all about _you_. You are the center of my fucking world, do you realize that?"

She let out a sob, and I had no clue whether I made the situation better or worse. I started groveling, begging her to let me come to her. I needed to get over there and fix it. _Now_. I felt my body start to shake slightly, realizing just how long it had been since I'd seen the love of my life. I sat up abruptly, feeling like I was going to crawl out of my skin. I needed to see her—immediately. Try as I might, she continued to turn me down over and over again. I didn't know what else I could say to make her agree, but I wouldn't stand to be without her any longer. "Bella please let me make it better." I heard myself getting desperate with my pleas, but something had to work.

When she finally gave in, I jumped out of my bed like someone lit a fire under my ass. I threw my phone across the room in haste, not giving a shit where it landed. I ran to my dresser, pulling on the first shirt I could find. I rushed to the door, cramming my feet in my Nikes. I opened the door and started to run out it before I realized I had no keys. Where the fuck were my fucking keys!!?!?

"Shit!" I yelled to my empty living room. I turned on all the lights, my eyes desperately roaming over the room. I got on my knees in front of the couch, flipping all the cushions over the back of it violently. I opened and slammed doors in a frenzy. Finally my eyes landed on the hook where I always hang my keys. "Such a dumbass," I muttered to myself.

I rushed from my apartment, taking the stairs two at a time. Too much time had been wasted. Yeah, the _plan_ was important for Bella and I, but how the hell could I think that being away from her for a week would even be an option? I climbed into my car and sped out of the parking lot. My mind was reeling. It wouldn't land on one single thought because I had so many in my head. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't breathe, couldn't even _be_ until I was with Bella again. I felt something uncontrollable and almost _feral_ take over me. It was completely different than anything I'd ever felt before. It was fire. It was animalistic. Everything was red, hot, need, want. _Love_. It was always love. But I just couldn't identify what was coming over me as I inched closer to Bella.I felt powerless and frantic for her. In that moment, I only existed to be whatever she wanted.

I turned onto Bella's street and tore down it like a bat out of hell. I began to tremble as I pulled into her driveway, because I just wasn't getting there fast enough. I turned the car off and tossed the keys onto the passenger seat. Hell, I don't even know if I shut the damn car door. My baby was standing in the door way of the house, and I needed her. I could of fucking cried, I needed her so badly.

We rushed towards each other like two crazed and desperate lovers; like the passionate and needy fools we were. Her soft cheek rubbed against my scruffy one as she jumped into my arms and held onto me for dear life. I moaned audibly as she wrapped her legs around my waist forcefully.

We pressed our bodies together tighter than I ever thought possible, but it still wasn't enough for me. Would it ever be enough? Would anything completely satisfy me until we ultimately consumed each other entirely? Because there wasn't an inch of space between our bodies, and I was dying for more.

I ran my hands up and down her back, her heat seeping into my skin. I pressed my nose into her neck, my eyes rolling back in my head as her sweet scent mixed in with a tinge of alcohol and tobacco. _As I live and fucking breath, Bella Swan_. I licked my lips, pressing them against her ear. I muttered the words that were so unbelievably true. _So God damned true that it hurt_. "This is where you were always meant to be, Bella."

I heard a soft whimper come from her throat. "Yes," she breathed. I wouldn't deny myself the flavor of her any longer. I ran my lips along the side of her neck slowly before I let my tongue snake out, tasting the girl of my dreams at long last. I dragged my open mouth down to her shoulder, sighing at the joy of finally starting the descent into our physical relationship. Whatever she wanted tonight, I would give to her. I didn't care about the repercussions, since they were of little consequence to me in the moment.

"I don't want to be on the porch anymore," she whispered, dragging her fingers delectably through my hair. My cock twitched as she pulled at the small hairs on the base of my neck. I pushed my forehead against hers. "Okay baby."

_Here we go._

I was in no hurry as I carried her to the bedroom. I didn't know what would happen tonight, but I knew that I would savor it. Every moment with Bella was beyond significant to me, and I would do everything in my power to burn this into my memory.

_How was I not going to kiss her on the lips?_

I laid her gently down on the bed, kissing her temple softly. I would worship her tonight. She was everything to me, and she had my utmost devotion. My devotion, my heart, my life…it was all in her hands.

I threw my shoes off quickly and crawled in next to Bella. This was the third time I had laid in bed next to her. Each time, I envisioned what it would be like to climb in next to her every night, and it literally took my breath away. The thought of all that we could be for each other was almost too much to grasp.

I looked deeply into her big brown eyes, finally having a chance to properly take her in tonight. Her beauty was something to behold. She was soft and sweet, and everything a woman should be.

I tried to get my panting under control as she inched her body closer to mine. She wanted me. I could see it in her eyes. Sadly, I could see the apprehension as well.

"I don't know what to do," she breathed.

I let out a long breath, trying to get my shit in check. We couldn't give in, because she was too good of a person to do it. I wasn't, but I would be good for her. As good as we could be, anyway. I just needed her pressed against me again.

I placed my forehead against hers, inhaling the deep, sweet breaths that were coming from her pink lips. "Come here," I croaked.

She whimpered again. I closed my eyes and imagined the noise she would make when I entered her for the first time. I hoped that the whimper was involved. I sat up and pulled her on top of me and I moaned, barely resisting the urge to run my tongue along her plump lips. "I bet we fit so perfectly together," I said, my voice shaky and all over the place.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her hot center even further into my straining erection. I swallowed violently, fighting the urge to grind against her like a dry-humping teenaged boy. She ran her fingers back and forth over my hipbone, causing me to jerk into her slightly. "I wish we could find out," she murmured.

I assured her that we would. Through all the tension and the extreme hormones, I felt myself smiling shamelessly. It's just that the girl made me so damn happy. It was unfucking real, the things she made me feel.

My face fell in pleasure and my eyes closed tightly as she slid her teeth across my collarbone. A noise grumbled deep in my throat as I let the tingling sensation touch every inch of my body. I could have come right then and there.

I grabbed her thighs and slowly circled my hips against her, letting go of my restraint for one carefree moment. I was losing it. I felt it slipping from my reach with each movement of Bella's body. I ran my hands up and down her toned thighs, cursing the fabric of her pants. What I wouldn't give to feel the softness of her skin against my palms. Fuck it, I was going to make it happen. "I want to take these off of you. What do I do about that?"

My mouth hung open like an idiot as she gazed up at me through her lashes. Slowly, she lay back on my thighs, leaning back on her elbows. Her legs spread as they gripped my sides tightly, and my brain effectively turned to mush. She moved her legs back and forth, tempting me with everything I'd ever wanted. I groaned at the thought of all the pleasure we could bring each other. _My poor dick was probably a deep shade of purple by now._

She was silently asking me to remove her clothing. Maybe she didn't want to be as good as I thought, but I had to make sure. "Bella, there's no going back after this."

"Jacob has seen me in my underwear before Edward, I just have boy shorts on underneath."

_Yeah, you also had sex with Jacob too_. Okay, okay. So I knew that didn't count. It was like eight years ago and Jake didn't know he liked dick yet, but still. Didn't it count as a technicality?

I grabbed her waistband, my hands twitching from the temptation of just ripping her pants off of her body. I could feel the lust seeping out of my pores, but I had to make sure this was what she wanted. I desired it more than anything, but this needed to be done the right way. "How drunk are you?"

"Drunk enough that I know I want this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage." I held back my laughter, immediately recognizing the line from _Friends_. I'm sure she had no idea I would be familiar with it, but I had Ali for a sister. She would make me watch it all the damn time when I came over to visit. I knew more about Ross and Rachel than any straight man ever should. I took Bella's playfulness as I sign that all systems were go.

I took a nervous breath, and internally told myself to grow a pair. "And what is it that you want tonight love?"

I pulled her pajama pants slowly down her shapely legs, never taking my eyes away as each inch of skin was exposed to me. My breathing elevated and my fingertips tingled as I felt her silky skin against mine. My eyes raked over the light blue boy shorts she was wearing, and I wanted more. She abruptly climbed back into my lap, and the heat radiated from between her legs directly onto my cock. I needed to be inside her like my lungs needed fucking air. She started gliding her pussy up and down the length of me. Even though it was through clothing, the sensation of Bella on me was more gratifying than any intercourse I'd ever had. She mentioned something about release, although I could barely concentrate on her words when her body was consuming me in such a way.

I closed my eyes tightly and my mouth hung open as she worked her tight little body against mine. At this rate, she would send me into cardiac arrest at 27 years old. And it would be worth every fucking minute. As good as she felt against me, I was desperate to know where this night was headed. "And what exactly do you…ugh shit that feels good Bella…what do you suggest?"

She explained her rules, touching and kissing only what we're allowed. The fine line we were skating on was getting laughable, and I could care less. It would be difficult not to touch her the way I wanted, but she _did_ say the word "release." Yeah, I was ready to release all right.

I locked eyes with Bella as she lowered her hands to the bottom of my shirt, lifting it slowly. I was entranced with her as she raised my shirt above my head and disposed of it. I ran my hands up and down her back as her fingers explored my bare chest. I hissed when she ran her thumbs over my nipples. I proved to her just how much I liked it as I grabbed her hips and ground myself into her. Her breath caught and she constricted her legs around me as I pulled her tighter against me.

She ran her fingers down to my stomach, kneading it with her palms before running her finger up and down the line of hair below my belly button. I let out a mangled moan, never wanting her to stop. When her finger dipped below my waist-band, I lost the ability to breathe.

She looked up at me, her eyes dark and incredibly sexy. Sweet little Bella was secretly a dirty girl, and I fucking loved it. "Let me see it," she purred.

If I hadn't lost the ability to breathe before, I probably would have hyperventilated in that moment. I wasn't worried about flashing her the goods. I was a big boy, and thought that she'd be pleasantly surprised. But having myself exposed, and her not touching me? There was only so much I could handle.

I felt her hands slide from the front of my body over to my sides, and froze as she sat back and pulled my shorts off. She giggled softly, probably at my stupid expression. Her laughter slowly faded as her eyes raked over my fabric covered hard-on. She licked her lips, her eyes glazing over and her fists tightening into balls. _Touch me_, I silently begged.

She gradually looked up into my eyes, and I was lost once more. Without breaking eye contact, she straddled my thigh, giving me room to release myself from my constricting boxers. Her warm center slid across my bare thigh, and I suppressed a groan as the wetness of her panties came into contact with my skin. _I did that to her_. My cock pulsed as I imagined what it would feel like to stroke her dripping pussy with my fingers. "You're so wet baby," I mumbled, closing my eyes tightly and trying to prevent this from ending quite so abruptly.

She linked our fingers together, pressing her soft lips against the back of my hand. "Now you know what you do to me," she whispered. As her eyes stayed locked with mine, I toyed with the elastic band of my boxers. It would feel good to not be so held down, and it was what my beautiful girl wanted. I'd do anything for her. I slowly released my cock, feeling it hit my stomach as it sprung from its confines. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how close Bella was to my dick that was throbbing only for her. I finally looked at her, and was pleasantly surprised. She was staring at my lap. _Like, completely eye fucking it_. Her back was arched, her body unconsciously leaning towards me. Her nails were digging into my thigh forcefully, and truth be told, it felt fucking good. She looked at my cock for so long that I was starting to feel a bit uneasy. "I'm going to get self conscious if you keep staring at me like that."I kissed her forehead and chuckled, trying desperately to ignore the feeling of her shirt brushing against the head of my cock.

Bella told me I _dickmatized_ her, and I cracked up laughing. Beautiful, funny, sweet, smart…I dare you to find one amazing quality that she didn't possess.

The lightheartedness lasted only a moment as the sexual tension set back in. She laid her head in the crook of my neck, and I kissed her forehead countless times. She told me again that we needed a release, and I couldn't fucking agree more. A million things ran through my mind. I needed to initiate this, but how? I didn't want to go too far, and I really didn't want to just start whacking it in front of her. Was that even what she wanted?

Before I could make a decision, my girl manned up. The room was silent except for our nervous breathing, and I didn't dare move as I watched her hand travel hesitantly towards mine. She lifted my hand and wrapped it around my shaft before tightening her grip around my fist.

_Holy fucking shit._

I shut my brain down completely, just concentrating on what I was feeling. She moved my hand over me slowly, and a deep moan escaped my throat as I felt the blood pumping though me underneath my fingers. This wasn't any old wank session, not by a long shot. It was still good ol' rosy palm, but with Bella on top of me, it was like a whole new sensation. Words couldn't describe the pleasure that was coursing through my veins.

"Swirl your thumb over the top. That's what I would do," she said as her hot little tongue ran over the edge of my ear. The mixture of those words and her saliva? Damn. She was going to get thrown down and fucked senseless in no time if she kept that shit up.

I did what she said, spreading my pre cum around the head of my cock, helping my hand slide effortlessly along Eduardo. Yep, that's right….the big guy has a name.

I opened my eyes and said something, who the fuck knows what. We were connected in this simple act of passion, and I wondered if this was the moment to tell her how I really felt about her.

"If you could do anything to me right now, what would it be?" I watched the way her mouth moved and shifted as the words slipped from her lips.

_Well, Bella. Ideally I'd like to fuck you so hard you'll be coming until next Tuesday._

Hmm, maybe I should opt for something more realistic. I asked for a taste. And she fucking gave it to me.

I whimpered (for the first time in my life, I'll have you know) as I saw her hand dip below her tiny blue underwear. When she moaned from her own touch, I grabbed her hip and pulled her closer. I sat forward, anticipating what was going to happen next. My cock pushed against her stomach, and it tickled in a nearly orgasmic way.

Her finger was shining from the wetness and was inching its way towards my mouth. I was squeezing my shaft tighter as I stroked myself, eager for the mixture of her taste and my pleasure to coincide.

A small smile played on her lips as she ran her finger back and forth over my mouth. I released my cock and scooped her finger up with my tongue, not being able to wait any longer. I moaned loudly around her finger as I let her delicious flavor assault my taste buds. She was sweet and salty and all fucking Bella. God, I just wanted to dive right in. I decided that after tomorrow, I would pick a day and devote it entirely to bringing her to climax with my mouth.

She made that little mewing noise in the back of her throat again as I swiveled my tongue around her finger, making sure I didn't miss one single drop of her juices. Her noises were going to fucking kill me, I swear to God. I groaned in resistance as she pulled her finger from my mouth, before laying my head on her shoulder. We didn't speak as she raked her fingers through my hair soothingly. It was my turn to satisfy her, but it needed to be the right moment.

When she broke the silence by telling me that Jake grabbed her ass, I needn't look any further. I grabbed her tight little ass in both hands, squeezing roughly as I pulled her right on top of my cock. I moaned as I felt her wetness rubbing on my very bare and very sensitive skin.

I was ready to give her all that she deserved. I kissed her face softly, avoiding the one thing I wanted, her lips. Trailing my hands along her arms, I linked her fingers with mine. She pulled them towards my cock again, even though that definitely wasn't what I had in mind. Oh well. _God gave us two hands for a reason_. She wrapped my hand around me and pumped me up and down once more. I focused on the sensation, almost losing my train of thought. Thankfully the memory of how she tasted on my tongue brought me back to the task at hand. I grabbed her free hand and ran it along her flat stomach. She squirmed against me when she realized where we were heading, and I thrusted my cock eagerly into our hands. _Easy baby, I'm going to make you feel so fucking good._

I pulled her hand over her panties at a rate that was probably torturing her. She'd enjoy it more when I finally let her have it. I pushed her palm forcefully against her pussy and she cried out, her chin falling against her chest in pleasure. Even through her hand, I could feel the heat that was emanating from her. I wanted to feel that heat myself, not through her touches. I smiled, knowing that at this time tomorrow I'd know exactly how her soft folds felt against my fingers. And hopefully my cock.

"Oh Bella," I laughed almost to myself. "I am going to make you scream. You don't stand a chance." She really didn't. This was going to be the orgasm of her life if I had any choice in the matter.

I left her hand between her legs as I explored some territory of my own. I closed my eyes and sighed as she quickened our strokes on me. I ran my fingers along her abdomen, memorizing every inch. I wanted to go higher. I wanted to feel those perfect, soft breasts in my hand. I knew she wasn't wearing a bra, and the temptation was very nearly the end of me. I imagined what it would feel like to have her hard nipples pressed against my palms. _Fuck_. I wouldn't last much longer, so we needed to get the show on the road. I brought my hand back to hers, noticing she was rubbing herself minutely through her underwear. Little noises were escaping her lips, but I needed to hear what she sounded like when her fingers were inside of her. I was ready.

I looked up into the gorgeous eyes of the girl I would give my life for. "Together."

She nodded, her eyes shining up at me in adoration. Bella's face was an open book, and I could see that she loved me. I was sure of it, and I was such a fucking privileged bastard. She leaned forward, her soft mouth lovingly kissing my forehead. Her lips were so close to mine. I went in for the kill but she pulled her face away from mine before I even made contact. Maybe it was for the best.

I slipped our hands into her panties, and it was fucking hot in there, let me tell you. Hot and perfect. Wet and thick. Mine and hers. So fucking amazingly meant to be, that I couldn't even comprehend that shit. I pushed her hand tight against her opening, and she cried out my name in a high and breathy moan. I started jerking myself in an uneven rhythm, Bella's hand just going along for the ride. "Say my name again Bella," I breathed roughly.

Ugh man, she said it over and over again as I urged her finger to slip inside of her. My name escaped her lips fervently. Soft and loud. Quiet and forceful. Breathy and deep. Light and almost non-existent. I was sure I could get off from just listening to her say my name as she lost herself in the feeling of her finger pumping in and out of her.

My voice was trembling vehemently as I spoke. "Nice and slow, love. Start out nice and slow, in as far as you can."

Her eyes were closed tightly, and I decided she needed more. "Another," I said roughly. She plunged another finger inside of her as I rubbed her hand in encouragement. My eyes almost bulged out of my head as I touched the juices that seeped onto her knuckle. I ran my fingers over it quickly, working it into my skin as well as hers. It was hot and sticky, and all I could think about was how perfect it would feel all over my cock. Yeah, we needed more.

"Faster now Bella. Imagine it's me filling you up; you know I'd fuck you harder." I helped her along, pushing her hand into her body at a fast and wild pace. Things were getting sloppy and blurry. I couldn't think. Could only feel what was happening to us.

I felt her teeth clamp down on my jaw and the ache in my balls became more prominent. Close. _So fucking close_. When I felt her teeth on me, I increased our paces, slightly thrusting up to meet our hands that were gripped tightly around me. I opened my eyes a little to see that she was bouncing slightly on my lap as I drove my cock into the fist I formed with my hand. My eyes were immediately drawn to her tits, bouncing and begging to be massaged with my tongue. I was sick of imagining what they looked like. She saw me, now I was going to fucking see her.

Before I could ask for what I wanted, she asked for what _she_ wanted first. That was perfectly fine with me, because her enjoyment was far more important to me than mine.

"Isn't it my turn for a taste?" she murmured, staring at my cock as we pumped it. She looked up at me and removed her hand from mine. A silent "fuck" escaped my lips as she caught a bead of sweat from my temple and licked it off of her finger.

I smiled at her, thinking I was pretty hot shit as I rubbed my pre cum all over my thumb and presented it to her. _Have your way with me baby._

She dove right in, grabbing my wrist with both hands and plunging my thumb in her mouth. I watched through heavy eyes as she worked my thumb just like she would eventually work my cock. I resumed stroking myself, because Bella was fucking killing me with her oral skills. She removed my thumb with a pop, and I was going to explode if I didn't blow my load soon. She was sending me right over the proverbial edge.

I mumbled something about getting her hand in her fucking pants, but in all honestly, I had no idea what the hell I was saying anymore. Everything was getting fuzzy and intense. I just let myself be consumed by the love in Bella's eyes and the smell of sex that permeated the room. _Our sex._

As if she wanted to pound the final nail into the coffin, she looked up at me through innocent eyes and pouted. "Help me."

_Oh my fucking Lord._

I wasted no time, pushing her fingers back inside of her. Every part of my body froze as the side of my finger barely made contact with the delicate hairs on her soft skin. My breathing was getting ridiculous as I tried to hold off my impending release as long as possible.

She let go of my hand and affectionately brushed the hair from my eyes. _Tell her you love her_, I told myself. "You are so beautiful…and you are so _mine_."

So I punked out, she still seemed to like what I said. Her warm fingers drifted along my lips, and I wanted to lick her again. "I'm always yours Edward, no matter what."

_I just hoped that was true._

We returned our focus back to our tender and swollen parts. They needed attending to, and I was more than fucking eager to oblige. Her hand never returned to mine as I stroked myself, and I thought of just the thing she could do with it. "Baby, can I see…." The words got caught in my throat as I felt her fingers sink deeper inside of her. Lucky for me, she knew exactly what I wanted. See? We were so damn connected, her and I.

Her hand slid agonizingly slow along her bare stomach, her tank top lifting further as she worked her hand higher. _This is it, Cullen. Don't bust a nut. Yet._

Her pert breasts finally came into my view, and they were magnificent. Absolutely magnificent, just like the rest of her. Honestly, I was so fucking honored that she would even share this part of herself with me that it didn't leave room for much else. Until, that is, she started squeezing her nipples between her fingers. I watched her rolling them back and forth, my mouth gaping as I slowed my strokes. If I didn't, it would be over before she had the chance to join me. _And we were fucking coming together tonight, one way or another._ I told her exactly what I wanted, and I could tell by her response that she was just as close as I was.

"Guh…so good baby…I need you closer to me."

_Yes._

I removed my hand from her, and pulled her roughly against me. I needed her as close as possible when we finally let ourselves go. I felt the back of her hand as she finger fucked herself furiously. Every time my fist went up my shaft, it pressed the head of my cock against her wrist. Feeling her bare skin against mine was making it nearly impossible for me to hang on.

She pushed tighter against me, and I knew she was trying to close that non-existent space that just wouldn't get the fuck out of our way.

"I don't think it will ever be close enough, Bella."

I don't really know what happened after that. I mean I do, I guess. I remember the look on her face just before she climaxed. I remember our bodies pushing even closer together the second before we started to unravel. I could hear the scream that escaped her lips as she froze and shuddered on top of me. And I felt…..Jesus Christ….did I _feel_ the moment when I came more powerfully than I ever had before. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I was absorbed by Bella. What we had just shared with each other, _it was a fucking gift_. There was no other way to describe it. Every day, every _single_ day spent with her amplified my love for her more and more. My arms encircled her, my forehead resting on her chest. Our bodies were still arched and alert, not yet relaxing as the last remnants of our orgasm washed through us.

How could I ever thank her for giving me what she just did? For trusting me enough to let me have that piece of her? I loved her. I fucking loved her more than my life. More than this world. I just…….my God, I loved Bella Swan.

As I drifted back down from pure ecstasy, I realized I came all over the both of us. Well, I was a real fucking gentleman wasn't I? I apologized to her for doing it. I didn't even have her permission for Christ's sake!

She smiled her angelic Bella smile, and I knew it was okay. She even told me she wanted me to. I grabbed my t-shirt and cleaned us off gently. My heart was thumping out of my chest, and I held Bella closely against my body. I couldn't let her go now. I couldn't do anything without her from this moment on. Fuck the afternoon. In the morning, as soon as I could manage to pull myself away from my love, I was breaking up with…_her_. I didn't even want to think _her_ name, since no other woman existed to me but Bella.

I ran my hands through Bella's hair, over her back, down her face. I kissed her hair repeatedly, worshipping my baby. _My fucking_ _everything_. The most meaningful act of sex in my life, and I didn't even touch her. Just wait until I do. _Tomorrow_. I chuckled to myself joyously as Bella slept tranquilly on top of me. My life was going to reach a whole new level of happiness in a matter of hours. I couldn't be more ready for it.

I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of my beautiful girl. I felt myself drifting off slowly, her name on my mind, and the taste of her on my lips. And do you know what happened next? I fell asleep. I _finally_ fell asleep. And it was a peaceful and deep sleep, because it was filled with thoughts of nothing but Bella.

_My Bella._

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**Aww. :)**

**So Edward thinks he's breaking up with Tanya the next day, but we all know that doesn't happen. Stay tuned to find out why. Next, we will journey along with Edward as he meets Charlie and gets a lovely tongue and tackle from Bella.**

**So I was thinking maybe you guys could stop by the forum and talk to me and the girls? I think that would be just great! :D Link: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=4148#p472374**

**Writing this chapter wiped me out!! (in a good way, but still) I'd LOVE a review. Because I love reviews. And readers. Until next time! :)**


	8. Interrogations and Declarations

**Hey. :)**

**So, because of recent events in the main story, I've realized that epov really needs to catch up so the two stories coincide. After I post chapter 20 of SADT, I'm going to be playing some major epov catch up, just so we're all on the same page. It'll be important ladies, so bear with me.**

**Okay, so our boy is in Forks. This chapter picks up with Edward leaning against a tree, while Charlie asks to talk to him. If you'll remember, Bella is in the house with Billy and Jake at this time, looking at the fish.**

**Isabel=Most amazing beta in the history of betas. And I'm not kidding.**

**P.S. There's a scene in here that you won't recognize. That's right, Bella totally cockblocked when she told you her pov. Luckily for us, Edward is more of a "kiss and tell" kind of guy. Which is why we adore him so. :)**

**Thank you for inventing these characters, SM. They are nothing short of amazing.**

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"Edward, can I talk to ya for a minute?"

Who knew such simple words had the ability to send chills up my spine and turn my bones to mush. And no, not in the good way.

There I was leaning against a tree, in a stranger's yard. The handful of people I knew were nowhere to be found, and it seemed rather pathetic that I felt like I was drowning if I didn't have the most gorgeous 5 foot 4inch girl standing next to me. My eyes searched frantically to find Bella, as if she could save me from her father, who was presently requesting a moment of my time. _Time to man the fuck up, Cullen._

I took a deep breath and decided to grow a pair. I had to be self-sufficient to some degree, for crying out loud. "Of course sir."

"Hey what is this, a dinner party? Call me Charlie," he chuckled, although I saw the tension in his eyes.

I smiled. "Okay Charlie."

He hesitated for a moment, kicking the dirt beneath him and staring at his boots. "Bella," he stopped to ponder his words," Well, she's important."

"I couldn't agree more." I wasn't surprised when I heard the genuine sincerity in my voice, because she was _damn_ important.

He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Look I'm not good at this "emotional" crap, but I am good at caring for my daughter. I see the way she looks at you, and well…I just don't want her to get hurt."

My heart pounded against my chest cavity so violently, I wondered if my shirt was moving because of it. I knew I had hurt her in the past. Hell, maybe I was even hurting her right now on some level. But I would never stop cherishing her, and I would _always_ respect her. It was imperative that her father understood that. "Charlie," I began, running my hand through my hair nervously. "She means a great deal to me." I paused, never stopping the assault on my hair as I stared at the ground adamantly. "The truth is I'm practically a puppy following at her heels," I chuckled nervously, feeling incredibly awkward in that moment. I knew it was coming out wrong, but I was having a hard time explaining my feelings for her without sounding like an idiot. I lifted my head and made eye contact with Charlie. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, yeah," I lowered my voice significantly, my expression sincere as I absently repeated my earlier sentiment. "She means a great deal to me. And I'd do anything for her."

Charlie didn't say anything for a long time, and I felt the beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. I didn't know if he was going to kick my ass or give me a hug. After a long moment and to my utmost relief, he did neither. "Those are some strong words, son. If that's the way you feel, then I have to ask." He rolled his eyes seemingly at himself before he continued. "Well, what are your intentions with my daughter?" He fumbled over his words and a blush took over his face. I could see where Bella got it from.

I tried not to laugh at such a cliché question. And maybe I should have done the tough guy approach so I didn't seem like such a chick. But I needed to be honest with him, because he would be my father-in-law one day, if I had my way. "Charlie I….I love her. I am _deeply_ in love with your daughter." My heart started pounding again as the words left my mouth. _Now I really was asking for an ass kicking_.

Again he was quiet, seeming to process my last statement. Finally he sighed and said, "Well, I'm gonna go grab a beer." He leaned closer and slapped my back twice, lowering his voice. "Just treat her right Edward. I've got a shotgun, a shovel, and friends who like to keep secrets," he smiled wickedly, clapping me on the back once more before walking away.

_Holy fuck._

I slumped back against the tree forcefully, pounding my head against it. I suddenly felt like the biggest piece of shit in the entire planet, because Chief Swan was absolutely fucking right. Bella was more than important, and she deserved to be treated right. And here I was, making our relationship be one of deception when all I wanted it to be was fucking glorious and honorable. I felt my chest tighten as my panic set in. Not panic about Charlie, because I would welcome his bullets if I ever did Bella any dishonor. But wasn't I already? I loathed myself in that moment. How could I do this to her? "Fuck," I muttered to myself. I couldn't have a break down right in the middle of Billy Black's front yard, so I suppressed it. I was getting really God damn good at that.

I thought back to the events of this morning, and how things went from joy to complete shit rather quickly.

_After the warm and snuggly moments of waking up with the perfect girl in my arms, Bella and I reluctantly crawled out of bed. I suggested we go to Forks today and meet her Dad. Sure, after I left to break up with Tanya, we could have stayed in bed and gone at it all day. But there was plenty of time for that, and this was important to her. Which meant it was beyond important to me. I mean, I was kind of anxious about meeting him, but it was what she wanted. I just hoped he didn't kill me for rubbing up on his daughter. Bella gave me one of Jake's shirts to wear since my cum was all over mine (She offered to wash it for me, how cool is my girl?). Dude was like a fucking giant, so I was drowning in his God damn Hagrid shirt. It hurt like hell to leave my love this morning, but I was anxious to go. I needed to get my ass to Tanya's, dump her good and proper, and get on with my life. I was so damn excited. I should have known by now that nothing fucking works out for me. Absolutely nothing, apart from meeting Bella. _

_I drove to my apartment to power shower. When I walked into my house, I thought I was burglarized. I grabbed my lamp from the table and walked cautiously through my apartment. Say what you want, a lamp to the face will cause some fucking destruction. Every light in my house was on. The couch was all tore up. Papers were everywhere, drawers were open, and then I remembered my emotional state when I left last night. I set down my porcelain weapon and smiled. I was so entranced with Bella last night that I couldn't even remember trashing my place in an effort to find my keys. There was no time to clean it up though, because I had some important shit to make happen. _

_I showered and dressed quickly. I heard a beeping noise from the other side of my room and saw my phone lying in the corner. I must have tossed it there in my rush to get to Bella. I picked it up and looked at the screen. Ten missed calls from Tanya. I sighed and scratched my head frustratingly. Well, I thought I better at least make sure she's home so I could get this over with once and for all. It rang twice before she picked up._

"_Where are you?" she asked in a rush._

"_I'm home, where are you?" I asked in a hesitant tone, hearing busy noises in the background._

"_Well I'm at the airport, no thanks to you," she grumbled. "I was trying to get a hold of you, because I got an earlier flight. I'm boarding in five minutes, you just caught me."_

_My heart sunk farther than it ever had before. I felt the panic set in as my chest started constricting in horror. No. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Someone up above must really fucking hate me. I said nothing for a solid thirty seconds, trying to decide if I should just break up with her over the phone. It was a completely douche bag thing to do, but she'd be with Kate this way……_

_I figured that I had done enough shit for her, and this was ending now. Right as I opened my mouth, she started talking._

"_Well if you're just going to sit there and not say anything, I'm hanging up now. I'll see you when I get back, Sweetie. Don't miss me too much," she giggled._

"_Wait!" I screamed, and I mean screamed into the phone. It was a full minute before I realized I was yelling to no one on the other end of the line. I hung up and redialed. Over and over again. It was too fucking late. I let out a frustrated growl, kicking my dresser hard. Anger completely took me over and I felt my eyes start to water, which only happened when I was totally fucking irate. Yep, I sure as hell was. _

After that happened, I allowed myself to wallow in anger and self-pity for awhile before sucking it up. It was another fucking delay, but was there really any doubt of its inevitability? The cards were stacked against Bella and me, but we would persevere. We found each other out of the billions of people in the world. That was obviously no coincidence. And Tanya had landed by now. I figured I'd call Kate first thing in the morning and give her a heads up before breaking up with Tanya over the phone.

Just when I felt like I was going to completely lose my shit, I saw my beautiful girl walking out of Billy's house. And I felt like a human being again. I felt like someone who was worthy of it all, even if I truly wasn't. She did that to me. I smiled widely, my body tingling in anticipation for her to reach me. She smiled stunningly at me, and I could have fallen to the ground with the relief that washed over me. I held out my hand, breathing a sigh of contentment when I felt her small hand in mine. Her eyes raked over my body and I felt a little ball of heat grow in my stomach from her sultry stare. It burned right in the middle of the fluttering sensation she always caused me. The combination was pretty fucking amazing. I squeezed her hand. "There you are baby. I was looking for you everywhere."

_Right before your dad threatened to dispose of my body after he and his friends murder the shit out of me. Ahem, in not so many words._

She pulled my hand around her waist and pressed her body into mine. She breathed deeply and seemed at ease as my arms encircled her. I was telling her tonight that I loved her. _She needed to know_.

"I'm here," she whispered against my chest. God, her mere presence resulted in my complete serenity.

I inhaled the scent of her hair, and I wondered if she could feel my heart beat for her against her cheek. "Thank God," I murmured, though it wasn't enough to explain what I felt. It never was.

I pleaded with her softly not to leave my side again. It was clingy and it was again, pathetic, but it was what I needed. _She was always what I needed_. When she ensured me that she felt the same way, missed me the same way, I knew I didn't have to be ashamed for the way I felt. I didn't have to feel like less of a man because of it. The truth was, she made me _feel_ like a man—the kind of man I wanted to be.

We slowly broke our embrace before walking over to get some food. Bella was with me again, and I was sick of my piss poor attitude. I just wanted to have fun and get to know the people that meant so much to my girl.

The meal was smooth sailing until all hell broke loose. Charlie asked me if I cut myself shaving, referring to the mark that Bella left after she bit me so delectably last night. I smirked and confirmed that I did in fact cut myself shaving. I squeezed Bella's thigh, enjoying the inside knowledge that only we shared. Until, that is, Jake completely threw us under the bus. He grabbed my face and announced for the entire world to hear that it looked like teeth marks. Well apparently that set Bella off, because before I knew it, she threw the fuck down. She was bitch slapping Jake's face, punching his chest, giving him titty twisters---it was fucking nuts! I jumped up in alarm until I realized they were just messing around. I finally let out a laugh while Bella wrapped her arms around me. "We were just playin'," she said with a wink. I beamed at her, kissing her forehead. _I was telling her tonight._

The sun started dropping below the skyline as everyone helped clear the table. Bella caught my eye from across the yard. She stood with Sam, laughing cheerfully as he kissed her cheek. I was captivated in that moment. She was so fucking beautiful when she smiled. When she did anything, really. I felt someone clap me on the back. "Got a staring problem, Mr. Sex on a Stick?" I heard Jake say behind me.

I turned to face him. "What did you call me?" I chuckled incredulously.

"Sex on a stick," he laughed. That's what Bella referred to you as for like the first two weeks she knew you."

"Is that so?" I smirked.

"Yeah, but don't tell her I told you. As you saw earlier, she won't hesitate to cause me physical damage."

"Clearly," I laughed.

"So look at you," he smirked knowingly. "All smitten kitten over my girl."

I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "Yeah, pretty sad isn't it?" I joked.

"Nah," he said seriously. "She's a very special girl. I hope you know what you got, hon."

"I do, Jake. I'm just…." I trailed off, trying to organize my thoughts. "I'm trying so fucking hard to get my shit resolved, you know? I'm trying to do the right thing. I don't even know what the hell that is anymore."

"Look Edward, I like you," Jake said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "And that pretty little girl over there? She fucking _adores_ you."

My heart sped and my head jerked up at his words.

"Like you don't know," he smirked. "Anyway, realistically I should beat your ass for not breaking up with _whateverthefuck _her name is. But I'm trusting you to do right for Bella. So deal with your shit, and be what you need to be for her. Okay?"

I nodded solemnly. "I will Jake. I swear I will."

"Good," he said firmly. "And don't be so squeamish when I hit on you. I'm just messing around. You're not the only one who loves someone," he smiled.

"That's cool, man," I said, hitting his shoulder. "And thanks, for everything."

"No problem. Now go talk to Bells. She's been gawking at us for the last five minutes," he chuckled. I walked away, more than happy to oblige. "We're going to the beach, Ed. Good fucking times!" he called after me. I waved back, but never slowed my pace. I needed my girl. We weren't supposed to separate tonight, after all.

I snuck up behind her as she was in the middle of a story she was telling Sue. "—Yeah, so then Renee was all like, 'put the chicken down and get the hell out of my Dodge Durango!' It was just the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!" she laughed, brushing her hair out of her face. I was _so_ telling her tonight.

I placed my hands gently on her hips from behind and her laughter slowly came to a stop. "Hey you," she said softly, turning to gaze up at me.

I kissed her cheek. "Please continue with your story. Don't stop on my account," I smiled.

"Honestly, I have no clue what I was saying," she murmured, placing her hands over mine. I lost myself once more in her tender eyes.

"Ughhh!" Sue heaved suddenly. "You two are so damn cute I think I might lose my supper. I'm going to go find my man and get me some sugar!"

Bella winced. "Oh Sue! Please God, no more words out of your mouth!" she groaned, covering her face. Sue walked away laughing. I thought the whole thing was rather hilarious.

Bella turned abruptly. "And what are YOU laughing about?" she asked sharply, poking my chest.

I smirked down at her. "Oh come on, that was hysterical!"

"Oh really?" she quirked her eyebrow. "Should we talk about Carlisle and Esme getting busy? I'm sure your dad has quite the stamina. I mean look at him, hot damn! And your mother? Yeah, she's all sweet outside of the bedroom, but once that door closes….I'm sure the whips and the handcuffs come out."

I stared back at her in horror, my mouth gaping. "That was just….unnecessary," I groaned in disgust. I leaned down in her ear and whispered. "And now you've done it. I'll probably never get hard again."

She kissed the spot behind my ear. "Is that a challenge?" she breathed, looking up at me beneath her lashes.

_Fuck_. I was all talk and no game. I already felt myself harden as her sweet breath sent prickles down my spine. "It's definitely a challenge baby." I sucked on her neck forcefully, pulling away before I left a mark. I closed my eyes as a soft "fuck" escaped her lips. "What did I tell you about that word?" I scolded quietly.

"What are you going to do to me if I say it again?" she murmured, eye-fucking the shit out of me. _Christ_.

I pulled her around the side of the house because I wanted my hands on her so badly it hurt. I pulled her into me, now fully aroused, ready and raring to go. "It's going to involve you, up against a tree. And this," I paused, bringing her hand to the bulge in my pants, "providing you with some real fucking pleasure."

"Then take me, Edward. Let's just go," she breathed heavily.

Leaving all of my inhibitions behind, I scooped her hand up and walked us briskly towards the woods.

"Bella?" I heard a male voice call behind us.

_Aw, you've got to be fucking kidding me._

She froze, her eyes going wide. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Where are you two going?" he asked, his voice full of suspicion.

"I uh…lost an earring. But I found it," she said dejectedly, dragging us back towards the front yard.

He just grunted and gave me the stink eye before walking away.

"Hmm, that was interesting," I whispered unevenly. "You better behave yourself before Charlie takes a shotgun to my privates."

"Speaking of which, at least I won your little challenge," she smiled playfully, brushing her hand across my hip.

I grabbed her waist from behind and pushed the front of my body flesh against the back of hers. "As you already know baby," I said deeply, "there's nothing _little _about my challenge."

I chuckled as her breath caught in her throat. I fucking loved that.

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We arrived at the beach about 20 minutes after I almost banged the shit out of Bella in the woods. Several of the people from the barbeque didn't join us, bringing the number down to about 12. It took me half way through the drive over here to get rid of my fucking hard on. Bella was trying to torture me in the car with her words and her hands and her…_mouth_. I shuddered in delight at the thought.

"Easy, big boy," she teased, smiling naughtily at me as I pulled her to me by the belt loops. She was so asking for it.

Jake, Sam and Billy started building the bonfire while everyone set their chairs up around it. I spotted a flat looking log on the far side of the pit and I knew that's exactly where my girl and I were going to cuddle up. "Over here, love," I murmured, directing her towards our destination. We walked past Jake and I stole the blanket out of his hands. He gave me an extremely aggravated look, but I just shrugged and grinned at him crookedly. His eyes glazed over and he exhaled slowly before muttering 'damn'. I tried very hard not to think about exactly why he had that reaction.

Bella sat down on the log and I sat next to her, bringing the large blanket tightly around us before kissing her nose. Billy was telling some story that was making Charlie all red and aggravated, but I had no clue as to why. _I couldn't take my fucking eyes off of her_. The way her eyes crinkled with laughter. The small sympathy "aww" she gave her dad when Billy was laying into him. The way her hair would flutter in the soft wind. Her beautiful profile that was illuminated with yellows and oranges from the glowing fire. She was fucking breathtaking, and I fought with the urge to tell her in that moment, to tell her how much I loved her. How much she owned me. How I lived for her happiness and prayed that I was a part of it. She interrupted my thoughts when her loving eyes bore into mine.

"What, do I have something stuck in my teeth?" she giggled.

"Are you really happy Bella?" The words poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to process them. And just like that, the mood changed from light to meaningful. She told me today had been a perfect day. While it wasn't exactly a perfect day for me, what with Tanya's bullshit and the nerve-wracking interaction with Charlie, my heart still soared at Bella's words. It was all about her, after all. "I need to make you this happy every day for the rest of our lives."

She placed her soft hand on my cheek and my eyes closed involuntarily. "You will. You already do."

_Music to my fucking ears_. I took her hand from my cheek and held it tightly between mine. I was so torn in that moment. I wanted to tell her I loved her, but I knew it had to be done more privately. Words couldn't express how much I resented this situation; this horrible situation that was keeping me from giving my girl everything she needed. I just wanted her, all of her. It seemed simple enough, so why was it anything but? The feeling of Bella's finger against my skin brought me back to reality.

"You ripped your jeans," she murmured, fingering my leg through the hole in my pants.

"Yeah," I answered shakily. _Tell her. Tell her pansy ass. Do it. Just do it. Tell. Her._

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered.

_I love you._

It never ceased to amaze me how big of a pussy I actually was. I tightened my grip on her hand and punked the hell out. "I'm thinking about last night."

"What about last night?" she asked sweetly, playing her little innocence game that literally made me want to come in my fucking pants.

I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her waist, resting my hand on her stomach. "I'm thinking about the way your skin feels right here."

Her breathing picked up slightly and her mouth fell open. _I knew that look_. Before I had to ask, she grabbed my hand and slipped it beneath her shirt. I quickly glanced around to make sure we weren't drawing any attention to ourselves. No need for Charlie to prematurely get his beloved shotgun out.

_Thanks for the blanket, Jake!_

I sighed at how warm and soft my baby was. I groaned when I remembered how much better she felt when she was all hot and sticky with sweat. _Fucking hell._

Her head fell to my shoulder. She whispered how good I made her feel, her breath attacking the sensitive skin on my neck and bringing me to rock hard status once more. My breathing was beginning to come out uneven, and I whispered to her that I wanted to make her feel better.

"How?" Innocent, brown eyes pierced into me from beneath long lashes, and my cock twitched violently at her simple question.

I ran my tongue along the indent behind her ear before indulging her with my very real plans. "Baby, in fourteen days and counting, I'm going to make you come in every possible way I know how. I can't even explain how beautiful you are when you're face twists in pleasure, letting your hot little mouth hang open in a perfect O….fucking unreal." I started playing with the underwire of her bra, groaning as I realized how easy it would be to just slip my hand inside.

We stared at each other fiercely with open mouths and heaving breaths. My hand was shaking with restraint. I was really trying not to massage that sweet, soft mound that was just aching to be touched. She ran her thumb along my bottom lip and I licked it suggestively.

She sucked a quick breath in and moved even closer to me. "I trust you Edward."

I almost moaned audibly at those wonderful fucking words. I pressed my forehead to hers and tried to control my breathing as I slipped my hand over her bra, palming her perfect breast forcefully. I felt the nipple protruding from underneath the fabric and I let out a low groan. What I really wanted to do was stick my head underneath that blanket and suck it right into my mouth. I settled for squeezing it and circling it forcefully. Bella was making it really hard for me to function as her eyes closed tightly from my administrations. A soft whimper fell from her lips, and I ran my thumb back and forth over the hard bud. We were going to have to go to the car soon, because I couldn't do this anymore. It hurt, and I wanted her, and I just didn't have it in me anymore to stop something that felt so God damn right.

She whimpered again softly, but I wanted more. I brought our heads closer together, demanding that she let me hear her. She laid her soft wet lips right on my ear and let out those short little whimpers that I fucking lived for. I needed to be inside of her. Everything began getting fuzzy and I started getting bolder as I grabbed her hand and placed it on my desperately throbbing cock. "Do you see what you do to me Bella? The smallest moan from you and I'm so fucking hard, it's painful." She started rubbing me slowly through my jeans and I couldn't stop myself from thrusting up into her grip. She was driving me fucking _wild_.

Her eyes tightened again as I stroked her breast teasingly. She whimpered "fuck yes" into my ear and I was absolutely done. I was about to scoop her up and take her somewhere. Anywhere. My need for her was taking me over completely. I wanted to be naked with her, my body connecting with hers from head to toe. I wanted to be inside her, under her, over her…I wanted to _have_ her, to consume her entirely. And I just couldn't stand it anymore, but just when I was about to rise up and throw her over my shoulder, she spoke.

"Edward, we can't do this here. I want to. Fuck, I _want_ to do this, but we can't do it here."

I sighed, so fucking defeated that it nearly overwhelmed me. She, of course, was right, so I scooted away from her as she let go of her hold on my poor dick. I slid my hand out of her shirt and pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to get my shit together. She apologized for giving me wood, which was utterly ridiculous. Even though my balls were aching and my cock was throbbing, it was all in a pretty fucking fantastic way. I needed to calm myself, so I decided to tell her some things that I really wanted her to know. I grasped her hand tightly and gazed into her eyes. I couldn't be responsible for my actions if I moved any closer to her body. "Bella, I wish you understood what you do to me. I mean, I can't think of anyone or anything more stunning than you. And smart….you are _so_ smart, and feisty, and sweet…you're perfect." She inhaled an uneven breath as I spoke; her smile was small, but beautiful. Her eyes soft, but smoldering.

"Not perfect," she beamed, shaking her head. "Perfect for you."

No truer words had ever been spoken. "Perfect for me," I whispered, smiling adoringly as my heart started racing for a very different reason than before. Her love, her devotion to me was something I'd never take for granted. I leaned in and placed my lips against her heated forehead. I couldn't keep my lips away from hers for much longer; I knew that for a fact. We spent the next hour being a little less anti-social, but never completely taking our attention away from one another. The way I felt about her…it was really getting out of control. I felt like I could literally burst from it, and I didn't know if I'd be able to get a handle on this. Was there even a way? Did I even want to? I already knew the answer to that. _Never._

The evening was slowly beginning to wind down, and people eventually began to leave. Jake called my name and motioned for me to help him with the chairs. I really didn't want to leave my love, but packing up _was_ a man's job. I kissed her hand softly and then her cheek. "I don't want to be away from you for a minute baby. I'll hurry, I promise," I smiled before kissing her cheek once more.

She just beamed at me and shook her head from side to side, her eyes opening and closing slowly. I walked away unhurriedly, turning around every few steps and looking back at her. In a matter of seconds from leaving her side, I was cold as hell. Like I said, this was really getting out of hand. I walked towards Jake and Sam to grab the chairs.

"Well look at you," Sam mused. "How the hell do you have _freshly fucked face_ when you've been sitting here for the past two hours?"

I laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah, that's definitely not my expression."

"Nah, Sammy. That's 'desperately _needs_ to get fucked face'," Jake teased.

I just shook my head at them. "You guys are too much." I took the chairs from them as they chased each other playfully down to the waterfront. I walked over and threw the chairs in the bed of the truck. It was darker and closer to the water, and now I was really fucking freezing. I leaned against the truck, just needing a moment to myself to try to sort out the mess of crap swimming around in my head. I decided that I would tell her when we got home tonight. When her house was dark and her eyes were burning. I'd tell her in that moment and I wouldn't stop the ramifications of my words. Because I was done with this, and I'd practically already betrayed Tanya. And I was breaking up with her, so who the fuck really cared anymore? I lost any concern I had when it came to that situation, and I didn't want to be good any longer. At least in that moment I didn't.

I pushed myself off of the door of the truck, heaving a big sigh and running my hand through my hair. I was about to walk back to find Bella, but there was no need. She was running towards me, smiling wildly and glowing with enthusiasm. I was thoroughly confused as to what the hell was going on, but it was a beautiful fucking sight to behold. When she reached me, she jumped on me so forcefully I lost my balance. We fell onto the sand and into the shadows while my girl beat me to the punch once more, showering my face with kisses.

"I love you Edward Cullen," she said, breathlessly. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I-"

No. _God help me_. She wasn't talking any longer. Because I heard her words, and they were echoing in my very _core_. She held my heart in her hands, and I had to have her lips on mine. The second our mouths made contact I groaned loudly, because it was fucking _right_. It was real and it was right and it was _us_. I snaked my hands underneath her hair to hold her neck and pull her closer. Our kiss was slow and passionate and everything I had ever thought it could be. She released her mouth from mine before sucking my bottom lip in between hers. She pulled on my hair in desperation and I didn't hesitate to find her tongue in her warm and glorious mouth. They tangled together in the intimate way that curls your toes and encompasses your entire heart. My fingers dug into her lower back, trying to get her body closer to mine. She could have fucking crawled inside of me and it wouldn't have been enough. She slid her body up mine minutely and I moaned in her mouth from the friction. I squeezed her thighs tighter against me as I did everything to her mouth that I wanted to do to her body. I thrusted with my tongue, caressed with my lips, and loved with my fucking _soul_. I couldn't wait another moment to tell her.

We broke apart gasping and needing, but she had to know right then and there. "Isabella Swan, I have been in love with you from the moment I ran into the door frame in your classroom….I _love_ you baby. I wanted to tell you for so long. God, I love you so--"

She interrupted me with her hot mouth and her quiet whimper, but it was just fine with me. I told her what she needed to know, _what I needed her to know_. There was no reason for our lips to be apart any longer. Our kisses intensified not because our hormones were taking over, but because the need to express our love was consuming every aspect of this beautiful and magnificent unification. I ran my hands all over her body, gripping her ass tightly as she struggled to get closer to me. She ran her hands up and down my chest between us before grabbing my hips and pulling them against her urgently. Our bodies writhed and dug into the soft sand as we gave everything we had to each other. Our mouths massaged and kneaded together as we completely surrendered to the overpowering emotions we shared. Our tongues intertwined in sloppy, wet strokes, and I didn't want this to ever stop. Ever. _I'm yours. I'm yours. I'm yours_, I repeated to her silently again and again.

Eventually I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't properly breathe soon, so we slowed our kisses to small chaste ones until we broke apart, our chests heaving against one another. She buried her face in my neck, placing a soft, moist kiss that nearly sent me over the edge. I heard several male voices in the distance and snapped out of our bubble as much as I could manage. I stood us up but held her securely against me. There was no way in hell I would endure not having her body on me in some form.

I closed my eyes and whispered my baby's name. I prayed her name into the night, because I would worship this woman for the rest of my life. "Bella," I breathed solemnly, closing my eyes tightly.

I opened my eyes as she slid her hands in my sweatshirt pocket and positively glowed up at me. "Say it again."

_Oh baby, I'll say it forever_. "I love you Bella." The words were sweet and delicious as they left my lips.

She pulled herself to me, standing on her tip toes as she closed her eyes and smiled. "Again," she whispered.

I spoke inadequately to her, because the words were an injustice to us. We were so much more than they could ever begin to express. "Bella, I'm completely in love with you. I love you, I adore you, I worship you and oh my _God_, do I want you."

She held me close as my name escaped her lips fervently. I loved her, and she finally knew it. Things would never be the same from here on out. I held her tight, I confessed my love, and I would never stop trying to be the man she deserved. I closed my eyes and absorbed every aspect of this perfect moment in my life.

And I realized that I was a fool for believing that this day was anything _other_ than perfect. It was no longer _Bella's_ perfect day…it was _our_ perfect day. I couldn't ask for anything more.

**************************************************************

**Ahh..love, sweet love.**

**Okay, after I post chapter 20 of SADT, I'm on vacay til the 30th. Yes, I was just on vacation, and yes, I'm going again! It's a tough life, I tell ya! LOL**

**After that it's gonna be epov in your FACE until he's all caught up. :D**

**And then the rest of our story will unfold. It's getting deep, yall.**

**Reviews, please? Thank you! :)**


	9. Paint and Promises

**Hey!! :) It's been awhile since I've updated EPOV, so my apologies. Lots of drama on the main story, as I'm sure you're well aware of!**

**Guys, I had a major fail moment when I posted chapter 21 of SADT. I completely forgot to inform you that Chapter 22 will be entirely Tanya POV. I'm sorry for not giving you a head's up, but I completely spaced it when I posted over here. I sorry. :(**

**I'm posting Tanyapov on the main story right after this, and then the EPOV catch up will commence. That's right, no chapter 23 on SADT until our EPOV is aligned with our BPOV. It's important, so hang in there with me, K? Thanks!**

**This chapter involves the ever popular "paint scene." So enjoy!**

**Thanks to my one and only Isabel, you are win girl!!**

**A couple of songs are mentioned in this chapter:**

**Sex On Fire-Kings of Leon**

**I Wanna Know-Joe**

**Also the children's poem that Bella quotes is called How Much Do I Love You? By Bruce Lansky**

**Twilight belongs to SM, the poem belongs to Bruce.**

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I approached Bella's door, smoothing back my jacked up hair and straightening my plain white t-shirt. I felt like I was on a fucking date or something. _Damn, Bella and I had never even been on a date…that just wasn't right._ I decided the moment we were free, we could start dating like we should have in the first place. Oh, but we'll have sex too. Christ, like I'd be stupid enough to put _that_ off.

I knocked on her door and wiped the sweat off of my palms on my khakis. What the fuck was up with me anyway?

Bella answered the door with a breathtaking smile, and I felt my heart go into overdrive, like it always did when she was in my presence. My eyes raked over her slowly as I appreciated the beautiful girl in front of me. She left her hair down, letting it fall in long, cascading waves. I secretly hoped she did that for my benefit, since my mind constantly obsessed over the image of her hair fanned across her naked ivory skin.

_Now is not the time for erections, Cullen._

"You took too long," she whispered, pulling me inside by the belt loops. Oh yeah, like we weren't going to mess around when she was doing shit like this. I pulled her fingers out of my belt loops and wrapped her arms around my waist, holding her tightly against me as I kissed the top of her head. I didn't say anything, just reveled in the sensation of coming home. We held each other for a long time, not talking, but just feeling. After last night, I had a lot of built up anxiety when it came to Bella. We had the most perfect fucking first kiss in the history of first kisses, and she broke down as a result of it. Because we weren't allowed to do it, which is just as fucked up in itself. And then the _I love you's_. Jesus, I had no idea it could ever be like that. I mean, I've known for a very long time that I was in love with her. But confessing it to each other, letting us come together in a fit of passion and surrender to our unbridled need…._Christ, that shit was beautiful_. I nearly lost my mind when I left her last night. I almost turned around and begged her to let me stay with her. When she fell apart in my car on the ride home, I felt like crawling out of my skin. I hadn't told her I loved her because I knew her guilt would take her over. It was the same reason I hadn't kissed her yet, and last night proved my theory. I don't regret it, of course. I could never regret it. It just made me worry about her like fucking crazy. I barely slept last night, constantly wondering if she was okay. I picked up the phone several times to call, but didn't want to wake her. Twice I made it to the door with my keys before I exhaled in defeat and crawled back into bed. I was just so sick of my girl getting clobbered by my fucking excess baggage. This had to end, and soon.

This morning was another stressful one. I had spent the entire morning calling Kate and/or Tanya. And wouldn't you know it, no one picked up the phone. I contemplated breaking up with her voicemail, but I knew it was a shitty thing to do; even to her. I decided that if I didn't hear from either one of them by the end of the day, voicemail it was. When I talked to Bella on the phone earlier, I was beyond relieved. She was playful, and she had that little gleam in her voice that told me she was happy. Well, as happy as could be expected.

I kissed her hair once more and finally spoke. "Can we just stand here all day?" I whispered.

She giggled against my chest and I sucked in a sharp breath as I felt her warm breath through my t-shirt. "We should probably paint, babes."

"Okay," I sighed reluctantly. She turned to walk away and I grabbed her by the hips, laying my head on her shoulder. "I'm nothing but your lowly paint boy, love," I said deeply, my lips ghosting against her ear.

Her strides faltered and I smiled as I saw the blush on her cheek. I kissed her temple and pulled away before I did something I wasn't allowed to do. My eyes landed on her ass as she bent over to pour some paint into the reserve. God help me. Her yoga pants left nothing to my already rampant imagination. I tore my eyes away and walked over to her radio, putting her iPod on shuffle. I turned around and she was staring at me with glassy eyes. Her arms were folded over her chest and she was biting her lip. "What?" I laughed.

Her eyes got wide before she grabbed the roller out of the pail. "Nothing," she smiled sheepishly. Oh, yeah. She was totally checking out the goods.

We got to work on the wall, not talking but sneaking in flirtatious looks or touches. Sure, it seemed innocent to the naked eye. But the air was fucking thick with something much different. I was fighting like hell to keep a lid on it. Every moment I saw her or felt her, I knew we were building up to something huge. Our desire for each other kept boiling like a volcano, begging to erupt--hardcore. I could have exploded at any moment, since she kept insisting on bending over and flaunting that sweet ass right in front of me. I had no doubts that my girl knew exactly what she was doing. I was getting frustrated, and I was going to be pitching a massive God damn tent if I didn't divert my train of thought.

Just as I was going to mention the current fluctuation of the stock market, the song switched over to _Sex on Fire_. Great. She looked up at me out of the corner of her eye with an 'oh shit, we're fucked' look. _Fucked indeed, baby_. I smiled crookedly at her, trying to downplay my hormones and urge my blood to any part of my body besides my cock. It wasn't my fault, okay? I could see her hard nipples through her shirt, and she was looking at me like she was going to throw me down. How the hell could I not respond to that? I mean, the girl was fucking beautiful, and she only wanted me. And I couldn't do a damn thing about it. _Fuck my life._

I let out a frustrated groan and ran the paint roller up and down the wall, hell bent on not looking at her. And definitely not thinking of the drip of paint leading under her shirt and decorating her perfect chest. _I was so fucked_. I heard her chuckle next to me as we worked on the wall in silence. I'm glad _she_ was enjoying herself.

We were making good time with our paint job, and soon we would be done with the second wall. I was really getting into it, too, until I saw her staring at me in my peripheral vision. I cocked my head to the side and watched as Bella chewed the hell out of her lip, dragging her eyes lazily all over my body. The paint brush was hanging loose in her hand as her eyes lingered over my paint-covered crotch. _Christ, she didn't have to stare, she could just have it. She could have all of me_. I reached up and pulled her lip away from her teeth. My breathing picked up as I remembered the texture of her soft lips against my tongue. I still couldn't help making a smartass comment. "You're lip is going to start bleeding soon."

She started yelling at me for trying to torture her, which was preposterous. If anyone was causing torment, it was her. I hate to say it, but I zoned her out a bit as I studied (AKA perved over) the curve of her neck. "God, could you try any harder to get me to look at your ass?" she asked incredulously.

I scoffed, because she was being ridiculous—as most women tend to be. "I didn't have to try that hard, sweetheart. And I suppose you _accidentally_ let a drop of paint drip down your chest? All I've been thinking about is how far down it goes."

She didn't look at me after that and I ran my hand through my hair in aggravation. We were arguing just because we wanted on each other more than fucking air, and it was pointless. I didn't want to fight. I loved her. _God, I loved her_. I decided I needed to break the tension, so I painted my hand and slapped her ass. I admired my handy work before I looked up to see her eyes closed and her lips parted. My laughter stopped. _She fucking liked that_.

Before I knew it she was attacking me with her paint roller beneath my shirt. I yelped like a little girl…..I mean grunted like a caveman when the cold paint covered my chest. She was so going down. I grabbed the back of her pants and shoved my roller down it, painting that perfect little ass of hers.

I laughed maniacally as she squealed, "Don't get paint on my privates!" She was so fucking adorable. We continued to assault each other with paint until the little spider monkey jumped on my back and turned my bronze hair a lovely shade of lavender. Fucking wonderful. Just then her iPod switched to a _Joe_ song, and suddenly the air was just as thick as before. Because I felt her warm body on my back and I needed it all over me. I wanted to swim in it. I wasn't playing anymore.

I slid her slowly around my body until she was straddling my hips, enjoying how effortlessly we fit into this mind blowing position. I could just imagine all the other positions we'd fit into with ease. I traced her spine as I looked into her eyes. After all this time, I still couldn't control the stuttering of my heart when I had her so close to me. I realized it had been far too long since I told her how I felt. "I love you," I murmured, kissing the tip of her nose.

"I love you too."

I can't fucking begin to express how those words physically affected me. It burned and it tingled and it enveloped me entirely. I was shaking with restraint. I wanted to feel her bare skin on mine. I wanted to feel her warm juices smothered all over my cock. I wanted to feel her come on my tongue. I wanted her to pull my hair and beg me to fuck her. _Oh, the things I wanted_.

She touched the paint roller to my nose and I beamed at her as she rubbed her nose softly against mine. Just that simple action made me harden even further. I slid my hands underneath her shirt, my fingertips eagerly exploring her warm, soft skin. I stroked her back up and down, swallowing thickly as I thought about her entire body gliding against me just like that. I felt the pre-cum leak out of me as her legs tightened around my hips.

She leaned closer, her heat pressing right against my erection as she shifted. I groaned and pulled her into me as I felt her teeth nip my ear. Her tone was pure sex when she spoke. "Your skin always feels so warm against mine."

A soft moaning noise came from the back of my throat as I felt the liquid heat take over my body. You know the one. It flows throughout you in a deliberate, heavy motion. Like a preview of a slow-building climax. A tingling glimpse of what's to come. I was losing it. "Do you want to feel more of it?" I whispered into her mouth.

"Please," she begged.

I slid her down at a leisurely pace until her feet hit the floor. My eyes nearly rolled back in my head as she moaned at the feeling of my cock gliding along her body. She was going to make me come without touching me. She was actually going to do it. God damn, my girl was amazing. She lifted her arms over her head and invited me with those fuck me eyes to undress her. I didn't miss a beat, believe me. I pulled her shirt over her head and allowed my hands the pleasure of exploring her smooth skin. I ran my fingers forcefully over the two dimples on her lower back before my hand dipped below her waist band and drifted across the curve of her bottom. I could spend hours touching her body. I would never get enough of this woman. She asked for more as she pulled my shirt over my head. After discarding it, she dragged her nails slowly down my chest and stopped at my belly button. I groaned as I felt her fingers playing and twisting in the hair below my navel. Go lower, I silently begged her.

She jumped in my arms once more, and my tongue lapped and caressed her shoulder. I moaned at the salty taste of her heated skin and sucked forcefully, wanting to mark her as mine. She _was_ mine, and I was going to take her. Some primal instinct took over inside of me, and suddenly I was out of control. I slammed her into the wall, holding her up with my hips as I covered her with my hands and my tongue and my teeth. I couldn't be stopped; I fucking needed her like my life depended on it.

She slid her hand between us and started stroking me through my pants. I moaned in a low and achy tone. "Fuck, Bella," I whispered breathlessly.

In a desperate and final attempt, she said we needed to be good. Fuck being good. I'd show her the meaning of good once I was fully sheathed inside of her, stretching her as she adjusted to my size. My mouth watered as I imagined her muscles clenching around my cock, and I pushed her against the wall once more. "What if I don't want to be good?" I growled as her hand began jerking me violently. "What if I want to have my way with you right against this wall? Would you like that?"

A strangled cry escaped her lips as I stroked her ear with my tongue and cooled it with my breaths. "Think about it baby. In less than thirty seconds, we could be stripped and ready; I could be inside of you in less than a minute."

I slid my hand down her back and palmed her ass, giving it a good squeeze as I grinded my cock against her hand. I wasn't stopping there. I moved my hand between her legs, gasping as her heat and moisture covered my hand. She was fucking soaked right through the thin material of her clothing, and it was all for me. I wanted to suck it into my mouth until there was nothing left. I wanted to do things to her that I never imagined doing to another person. _My life was so going to kick ass once we were free._

She was squeezing my cock with a vengeance in her small hand, and I was so fucking close. She was killing me. "Fuck," I groaned. "You're going to make me come right here if you keep that up, Bella."

I pushed my fingers further into her through the fabric of her pants and I bit her neck as I came into contact with her swollen clit. Jesus. How could anything be so fucking amazing? How could something so torturous be so damn enthralling? My cock ached painfully but I never wanted it to stop.

I could have fucking cried when she said, "Wait." _Oh God, Bella_. I can do _anything_ but that. I dropped my head to her shoulder and fought to keep my voice from wavering. "Bella, I can't…I'm too fucking close."

I could have cried again when she said we weren't stopping. She wanted to be more careful but I just wanted our bodies on each other, I didn't recognize this foreign word she spoke. _Careful_. What the fuck was that?

She bit my lip and I growled like some kind of wild animal. My arms left her and I slammed her against the wall with my pelvis. I felt my cock push right into her soft flesh, and I was moments away from tearing off her clothes and burying myself inside of her. I needed to tell her exactly what I had in mind. "Think about my cock throbbing inside of you. Imagine me entering you as far as I can go, pulling all the way out and slamming back in. I can fucking _taste_ it Bella," I closed my eyes tightly as she gyrated her hips against mine. I wasn't waiting, and I needed her to let me give it to her. "Just let me fuck you until you forget your name, baby."

She kissed me so forcefully it almost hurt--in the way you _want_ things to hurt. I took this as encouragement and pulled on the waistband of her pants. Until she broke away from me and I saw her eyes. Her sad, desperate, wild eyes. What did I do to make her look like this? "Edward, don't ask me, because I can't fucking say no to this anymore. Please don't ask me that," she begged unevenly.

_Fuck._

Just like that I was catapulted back to the moment in the car last night. She was in a constant battle with her heart and her conscience, and I was doing nothing but messing with her resolve. This was all so hard on her, and I was making it that much worse by not being able to hang on. God, I was such a douche. In that moment, my hormones could go fuck themselves. Because all I wanted to do was wrap her up inside of me and make her feel safe. Make her feel the extent of my love. To let her know that we could never have sex and I would still thrive from the way my heart beat in time with hers. She was my fucking world and all I was concerned about was rubbing one off against her leg. _What the fuck was wrong with me?_ I pushed my forehead against hers, wishing she could know what was going on inside of me. "Bella," I pleaded softly. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. Come here, get closer to me."

I groaned in content as she clung to me tightly, as if she were afraid to let me go. I wouldn't survive it if she ever did. I slid her down the wall slowly and sat her in my lap, our bodies completely wrapped around each other. Her eyes met mine and I could have fucking perished from the aching love that I felt in my chest for her. I loved her so much it hurt my body from the pure exertion. I'd be thankful for that pain every day of my fucking life.

"Promise me," she whimpered, her eyes filled with tears and forever.

"My life is yours Bella. I promise. God, I promise," I breathed. It wasn't enough. How the hell would you even begin to put this into words? You can't describe something as profound as this love we had. This love that completely owned us.

Our lips ghosted together as I felt our bodies start to move against each other. It wasn't something that could be controlled. We needed it, and there was no way of preventing it. She began sliding along my cock more urgently, begging me not to stop. I would _never_ fucking stop.

I pulled her further on top of me and kissed her deeply as we made love to each other through our clothes. I lost myself, with each thrust of her hips. I couldn't even tell you my name in that instant. Just that I was hers and this moment was overpowering me beyond words. I looked down at the front of my pants and they were wet, wet from the both of us. I groaned from the pleasure of that sight. At least our arousal was able to join together, even if we couldn't. She stilled on top of me and pushed her wet sex hard on top of me. She was practically wrapped around my cock, and I completely surrendered to it all in that moment. "Bella," I groaned desperately, "I can feel you. I can _feel_ you baby. God, I can't…"

_I couldn't._

She soothed me and promised her love to me as she brought me back from my potential break down. I've never felt more on the verge of tears than in that moment, and yet I'd never felt like more of a man. It was the oddest sensation. I wanted to sob for the agony I put her through. I wanted to scream for everything we couldn't be. I wanted to rejoice for everything we could. We were entirely connected to each other as we brought ourselves closer to release. My eyes poured into hers, our mouths breathed into each other but didn't intertwine. I felt our passion changing right in front of us. Just when I thought I couldn't love her more. Just when I thought it was impossible for it to be more than this. In that moment, we were one person. My heart beat in her chest, her soul was buried deep inside of me. Our lives wouldn't exist without the other's.

Was this even real?

I told her I loved her, again and again. She had to believe me. That even with everything I put her through, I loved her in every respect of the word.

"I know you do, Edward. I _know_."

My eyes stung more violently as her tears streamed down her cheeks. I kissed them away. "Bella," I pleaded. I don't know what I pleaded for; I just knew that I had to.

"I know baby," she whimpered.

I exhaled slowly as I twitched violently against her. She groaned softly into my mouth as our lips and tongues worshipped each other. Our moves were frantic and disorganized, and I trembled as I felt ourselves climbing closer and closer to our impending release.

I crushed her chest against me as we came together loudly. I gasped against her throat as she pulled my hair to get me closer. I couldn't bring myself to move as I let our orgasm spread to every inch of my body. It was slow moving, and it was fucking unbelievable.

She relaxed against me and I held her tight, our bodies shaking together in irregular and forceful shudders. Her sobs wracked her body and ripped my heart in two. "Break up with her," she begged desperately. She never should have had to ask me that, and I loathed myself as her pain seeped out of her skin and into my soul. "Break up with her so we can start."

I don't know where they came from, but the words started pouring out of me. "I am, Bella. I can't do this to you anymore. I need you too much, and I never want to hurt you again." I kissed her over and over again, frantic to make her understand. "I need you baby. Please, I can't be without you a moment longer. Bella, look at me."

She gazed at me with weary but trusting eyes. "You. Are. The. Love. Of. My. Life," I whispered forcefully. "Do you understand that?"

She pushed me backwards and lay on top of me. I was too hot and my boxers were clinging to me uncomfortably, but I never wanted our bodies to separate again. "I understand that," she whispered. "You are the love of mine. But you have to show me." Her lips caressed mine, and she begged me again. She pleaded with me for the thing she more than deserved and I had yet to deliver. And for what? Absolutely fucking nothing. There wasn't a reason in the world to keep us apart….not one fucking reason. "Please, just show me," she cried, her eyes clasping together tightly.

I stroked my fingertips along her neck. My lips were delicate against every inch of her face. Because she was something to be fucking treasured, and I would never make the mistake of taking her for granted again. Never again. "I will," I assured her repeatedly.

And that was no lie, I fucking would.

We lay on the hardwood floor for an immeasurable amount of time, just hugging and feeling each other. Finally she stretched her arms over my head and smiled lazily at me before kissing me gently. "I love you so much Edward," she breathed.

_If she only knew._

*************************************

Twenty minutes later, (yes it takes that long to get up off the floor) I was leaning my shoulder against her door frame and clinging my girl to my chest. I kissed the top of her head repeatedly as her hands ran up and down my back soothingly. I could have fallen asleep right there, no joke. "Bella," I whispered. I smiled as I felt her arms tighten around me further.

"What babes?" she sighed, turning her head and placing a kiss on my chest.

"Tell me you love me again?" I asked. She laughed at me, and I chuckled for being such a loser to have to ask for it. But as you can see, I couldn't bring myself to give a flying fuck.

She looked up at me with admiration in those endless brown eyes. I groaned in contentment as her hands slipped under my shirt and drew her nails along my lower back. "Do you know how much I love you?" she questioned.

I smirked because I had an idea, but just shook my head instead.

She stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her little nose to mine. "I love you, I love you, I love you so well, if I had a skunk I'd give you a smell."

She started giggling as I gave her my best '_what the fuck are you on'_ look.

"If I were a bathtub, I'd give you a splash. If I were a fungus I'd give you a rash," she smiled up at me while she spoke her nonsense. Her tone was playful, but I saw everything inside of those perfect eyes.

"School?" I whispered happily as I pressed my lips to hers.

She giggled and nodded. "Yeah, my kids probably thought I was losing it when I read it to them last week. I was laughing throughout the whole thing because it made me think of you."

I kissed her again as my brain screamed at me over again. _Last week! She was already in love with you last week!_ And all of a sudden I just had to know. "Bella, how long have you been in love with me?"

Her gaze never faltered as her hands dragged lazily threw my hair. She kissed my jaw and buried her face in my neck. "Hmm, probably somewhere around Bad Albert's, when you told me you'd never let me fall," she whispered.

My heart thumped unevenly as I lowered my face to her shoulder and breathed her in with a deep sigh. "Baby," I whispered.

"How long have you?" she questioned, placing a soft kiss on my neck.

I pulled back and ran the back of my hand along her cheek. "Well, I was born on June 20, 1982. I suspect somewhere around there, love."

She shook her head as she glowed up at me. "You didn't know me then, Edward."

I looked down at her lips before connecting our eyes. "Maybe not. But I've been waiting a really fucking long time for you, Bella."

She jumped up in my arms and held me tightly and I chuckled. She was always telling me how she wished she was taller so she didn't have to try so hard to reach me. I've been a sloucher ever since that day, because Bella should never have to struggle to bring us together. "I'm gonna go shower, baby," I whispered into her hair.

She exhaled hastily, making a cute little whiny sound that made me want to throw her on the couch and kiss her until she couldn't breathe. "What do you want for supper, babes?" she sighed in defeat, kissing my cheek.

_A Bella split. Bella and cream. Bella on a silver platter._

"You don't need to cook for me," I scoffed, even though secretly I was kinda jonesing for it. She was one hell of a cook.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, it will be a surprise then," she smiled. "Or you could just take a shower here like I said and then you can make dinner _with_ me."

I really, _really_ wanted to do just that. However, there was one little sentence that had been haunting me, making it completely out of the question.

_Edward, don't ask me, because I can't fucking say no to this anymore. Please don't ask me that._

I _would_ ask her. I would ask her again and again because I can't fucking help myself around that girl. I would ask and beg and plead and it would kill her all over again. So no matter how desperately I needed her, I had to step away and do the right thing _for_ her. I kissed her forehead and shook my head slightly as I slid her out of my arms. "I can't baby. Somehow I don't think I can get a second wear out of these boxers," I squinted, wiggling my hips around uncomfortably. I made her laugh heartily and the sound made me soar.

She narrowed her eyes at me before slapping my chest. "I didn't hear any protests coming from you, mister," she looked down before looking up through her lashes. "In fact, I think you liked it."

_Pshh. Understatement of all fucking time, my dear Bella._

I pulled her in and attached myself to her earlobe, sucking and pulling and tasting her skin. "I more than liked it," I whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver against me.

"I love you," she murmured, staring up into my eyes.

"Hmm, I remember. Like a fungus, if my memory serves me correct?" I looked at her out of the corner of my eyes, feigning displeasure.

"No," she gleamed up at me, her fingers pulling on the small hairs at the base of my neck. "With everything."

Before I knew it my tongue was in her mouth and her hands were fisted in my hair as I gave into it all over again. I knew we couldn't be together like this again until I took care of my shit, so I clung to her and took from her until I could barely breathe.

She stepped away from me; her hands on my hips were the only thing connecting us as I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to get a grip. She had a little crease of worry in between her eyes again and I wanted it fucking gone. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back," she spoke softly, her hands squeezing me and her eyes dropping to the floor. Her next words were barely a whisper. "I'd wait forever for you, Edward. But please don't make me."

My face crumpled and my heart burned in my chest. I stepped forward and held her face in my hands, pressing my lips to her forehead and letting them linger. "I love you. I'll fix this, baby," I breathed fiercely.

I turned and walked out the door swiftly before I gave into my selfish need to stay.

I drove the speed limit on the way to my apartment (which is a damn rarity for me) with my t-shirt pulled over my nose every now and then. It smelled like Bella, and it made me calm the fuck down.

I cranked up my radio as some corny ass rap song began playing. I chuckled as I thought back to Ali's opinion of my taste in music. _You know, she trilled thoughtfully one day, for someone so musically gifted, you sure listen to some busted ass rhymes._

Ah, my little sister.

My phone went off and my face went all goofy with my stupid grin. It was a text from Bella.

_You make me so happy, babes. :) Stop beating yourself up about everything. I know you are and it's stupid. I love you. Now hurry up._

I let out a large sigh of relief as I felt the burdening weight lift from my shoulders. She was happy, even if things were always hanging over our head like grumpy bear's fucking rain cloud. I knew he was my favorite Care bear for a reason. I am one angsty bastard, after all. I typed a quick reply.

_Love you too. Even though you made me jizz in my pants like a 14 year old boy. ;)_

I chuckled as I heard the new text arrive. I already knew what it would say before I opened it.

_Such a jackass. :D Hey, stop knocking on my door btw. You belong here, just come in._

I smiled earnestly, shaking my head and tossing my phone into the passenger seat. She always yelled at me for knocking, but I felt kind of weird just barging in. After today, however, I was fairly certain it would feel just about right. I turned the radio up and started jamming out, my mood suddenly reaching a whole new level of awesomeness. Yeah, things were shit for us, but why should I let our time together be all stressful when we enjoy each other's company so much? I needed to snap the fuck out of it. Anxious to get started on our happy times, I tried calling Kate again just to get it over with. I scoffed as I got her voicemail. Again.

You can understand my utter fucking bewilderment when I heard her ringtone a minute later.

I turned the radio down and flipped my phone open. "Well, what the fuck do you know?" I said sarcastically.

"Sorry," she said hastily. "We were gone all day and Tanya forgot to bring her phone charger. What's up?"

"Let me talk to her," I said flatly.

"Why?"

"Because it's time to end this shit once and for all Kate. I mean, I've been pretty fucking patient through all this, and I've finally reached my breaking point. I'm in love with someone, pretty desperately I might add. I can't stay away from her anymore. I know what I want now, and I can't wait any longer. This is interfering with my future, my life, my babies…with everything!" My eyes widened as those unexpected words slid from my lips. _TMI, dumbass._ "So get your sister on the phone, and I'll end it as delicately as I can. But it's over. Now."

"Edward, listen—" she started hesitantly, but I cut right in.

"Don't even fucking go there, Kate. Get her on the phone," I said viciously.

"She's taking a nap, Edward. And I do understand. I know it's time for you to end it, because you don't deserve this. But you cannot break up with her over the phone. I've had it happen to me, and it made me feel so incredibly worthless. She already feels that way, Edward. Think of what it will do to her. Just do it when she gets home, please? Now that I know when it's coming, I can try to prepare her for it. She's doing so much better; I already see such a big change in her."

I sighed exasperatedly. "This is some bullshit," I muttered, dragging my hand through my hair. I was silent for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell to do. She was coming back on Wednesday. Today was Sunday. Could I stay away from Bella that long? I decided I couldn't make this decision without her.

"I need to talk to Bella," I said sharply. "But if I call back and ask to talk to Tanya, you fucking let me talk to her, got it?"

"Fine," she sighed softly.

I suddenly felt like an asshat for being such a dick to her. I knew she was trying to balance between helping her sister and I. "I'm sorry for being a jerk, Kate. I'm just losing my mind over here," I muttered.

"Yeah, I understand. I really think it will be okay when you break up with her. Just level with her, and respect her enough to do it in person. I think…well I really hope things will go smoothly for you."

"Well, either way it's done. I gotta go, but I will absolutely be in touch," I said, still not able to hide the aggravation in my voice. I slammed my phone shut and threw it to the side.

I pulled into my parking space and made my way up to the apartment. I took a moment to just stand in the doorway and look around. It didn't really feel like home anymore. I sniffed my shirt once more, smelling Bella's sweet aroma and the scent of her house mixed together. I knew where my home was, and that was some freaky shit. I mean hell, move fast much? I sighed deeply.

One issue at a time, I had to remind myself.

I peeled my clothes off and hopped into the shower, letting the steam loosen my tense muscles. I didn't know how long I'd be at Bella's tonight so I tossed one out quick, just to be safe. I had to try to control myself when I returned because I couldn't keep playing with Bella's emotions like I had been.

She'd get me hard again anyway, so it couldn't hurt right?

I got out of the shower and dressed hastily, anxious for my love and her delicious fucking meal. I decided against shaving when I thought about that soft humming sound Bella made when she ran her fingers along my stubble.

_Christ, I was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside._

I pulled back into her driveway roughly 40 minutes after I departed and pushed all my emo tendencies away. I rolled my eyes, realizing that I was sounding more and more like my meathead brother every day.

I walked back into Bella's house and my heart jerked at the feeling of not having to knock. I started drooling like a God damn Saint Bernard when the mouth-watering smell of food attacked my taste buds.

I sauntered into the kitchen, ready to twirl my girl around and start acting like a dork—just to see her smile, of course—when I heard her curse and saw her finger fly to her mouth.

I turned her around, my eyebrows furrowing together in concern. She smiled up at me, trying to convince me that the cut wasn't very deep. Well I would be the judge of that. I examined her finger before kissing it and snaking my arm around her waist to lead her to the bathroom. I licked my lips and tasted the remnants of blood that her finger left behind. Was it fucked up that I wanted to taste more?

Yeah, you probably shouldn't answer that.

I sat her on the counter and tended to her wound, feeling content in being able to take care of her in some way. She jokingly chastised me for treating her like a kid, but that's not what I was doing. She was mine and it was my responsibility to take care of her. It was give and take, and when the fuck did I become so all knowing? Love makes you all philosophical and shit, apparently.

We exchanged some tender words and a loving embracing. She covered me in her warmth again, making my arms and legs feel like Jell-O once more. My chest constricted and my skin tingled. I wondered if it would still feel like this when we were seventy. I wondered if she knew how fucking often thoughts like that ran through my mind. I described it all in the only way I could. "You make it so hard for me to breathe, baby," I whispered, my eyes greedily absorbing the features I thrived on.

The little scar on her lip. The curve on the bridge of her nose. The exotic shape of her eyes. The love she had for me inside of her.

I pulled her off the counter gently, not wanting dinner to burn. We worked together in companionable silence before sneaking away for a bit to admire our handy work on the bedroom wall. It looked just like it was. Like two people got busy against a wet wall of paint. We both agreed it should stay just like that--at least for a little while. We went back to the kitchen and slaved away until the most delicious fajitas in the history of fajitas were complete. We brought the food to the table and I suddenly realized just how domestic this actually was. And why the hell wasn't it scaring the shit out of me, after a mere five and a half weeks?

_Dude. One issue at a time, remember?_

I ate enthusiastically, even though my stomach was twisting in nerves from having to bring up the whole Tanya/Kate thing during our non-scary domestic time. Finally I decided to get it over with. "I called Kate on my way home earlier."

Her eyes widened as she dropped her fork. _Oh man_. She asked what was said, and I remained as cryptic as possible. "I told her I'm done. That I'm a reasonable man, and I tried to do the right thing, but this is interfering with my life. Our life. Our wedding, our babies, our grandkids. Our freaking _life_." I tried to keep a smile on my face, but the truth was I was worried that my declarations would freak her out. "She probably thinks I'm a freak now, if she didn't before."

She stared at her plate for a moment, her eyes wide and contemplative. Aw, fuck. Now I've done it. "You want all that with me?" she whispered, her eyes shining as they met mine.

Ah, sweet relief. Her baited breath and sparkling eyes encouraged my sentiment. "Bella if I _don't_ have all of that with you…there's no point to anything. I mean, why the fuck would the sun even bother to come out, or the earth keep revolving?" I rolled my eyes at my pathetic attempts. "I know I sound like a thirteen year old girl right now. I'll gladly detach my balls and hand them over, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it."

I actually _was_ a little ashamed to admit it, since I was starting to completely surrender my masculinity to this girl. I couldn't say it was a particularly good feeling.

Hmm. Maybe one issue at a time wasn't going to happen. I suppressed my uncertainty and bowed down to my girl once more. It was the least I could do, after all. She stayed quiet, and I started to wonder if she realized how neutered I had become as well. I begged her to say something.

After an eternity, she spoke. "I love you….and honestly, I don't even _see_ a future without you. You _are_ it, Edward."

I smiled, because once again our feelings were mutual and fucking real as ever. My goal had been to try and chill with the dramatics. Just keep us light and fluffy and happy. I realized in that moment that we'd always have a level of intensity that would never go away. When you were dealing with this kind of passion, it would never fully dissipate. The one thing my girl and I needed to learn how to do was balance the fluff that brought us joy and the fire that burned inside of us. We'd get there eventually; this was a learning experience for the both of us.

I needed to smell her and touch her, so I knelt in front of her and wrapped her in my arms. I soothed her with my words, confessing my love and promising myself to her over and over again.

"But, what do we do now? She's not even in town," Bella whispered sadly.

My plan was to discuss this with her, but I didn't really care anymore. I began looking around frantically for my phone.

She stopped me.

The compassion was thick in her voice when she spoke. "No Edward. She deserves more too. We're cheating, the least you can do is break up with her in person."

Jesus, what kind of fucking saint was I holding in my arms? Her constant empathy made my heart throb for her. And I hated myself for wishing she had a little bit more bitch inside of her. If she would just demand me to tell Tanya to fuck off, I'd do it and we'd be together by now. I was starting to turn into a bitter mother fucker, but I didn't want to deal with my underlying mess of crap. So I showered my girl with the adoration that I had only for her. It was a beautiful moment. And I tried not to think about the knot of animosity that tightened and released in my stomach. It obviously wasn't directed towards Bella. But…..it was there, nonetheless.

I had no idea what it meant, but I was pretty fucking sure that it wasn't good.

****************************************

The rest of the night went by too fast and before I knew it, I was back at her door and holding onto her for dear life. No more Bella until I dealt with my shit. It was utterly fair and I probably deserved the anxiety it would cause me to be away from her. She sure as hell didn't need it though.

I brushed the hair away from her neck and pressed my lips softly to her skin. "It's just a few days, love," I whispered. "We'll make it."

She lifted my head to meet her sorrowful gaze before kissing me fervently. "I'm still going to miss you."

I sighed, squeezing her to my body. "You have no idea, baby."

I gave her one last parting kiss but it wasn't smoldering. It was all love and promises. My hand held the back of her head while the other rested on her hip, drawing soft circles against her skin with my thumb. My tongue slipped into her mouth and caressed hers like it was the last time. My fingers drifted along her skin and our mouths fought to explain just exactly what we meant to each other. When would we realize that we didn't have to fight so hard? It was clear from the way our eyes melted into each other. We fucking knew, and that knowledge was overpowering to say the least.

I pulled myself away from her after one more chaste kiss, leaving all the true parts of me with her to hold onto. They belonged to her anyway, and I had no need for them if she wasn't going to be with me. Things were getting built up in a slow and undeniable way, and as I drove away from the one person who kept me grounded, I wished a silent prayer to keep us strong enough for the aftermath of our escalating state of affairs.

I could feel the storm brewing, and I knew that I would be powerless to stop it. With a frustrated sigh and the grind of my teeth, I flipped my phone open and sent Kate a text.

_You win._

*****************************************************

**Expect about three more epovs before chapt 23 in SADT. I know, the horror! Just remember that I believe in happy endings.**

**I also believe in your reviews...because they keep me going and I value every single word you guys share with me. :) Aww, hugs all around!**

**I'll post as fast as I can. Later!**


	10. I Wrote a Song About Beans

**Gah! I know right? I took so freaking long....**

**What can I say but sorry... :(**

**I got infected with teh writer's block. It nearly did me in, but things are back in business I'm happy to say. :D**

**I couldn't do any of this without Isabel, who I'm sure was ready to tell me to quit my bitching and get on with it. Really, she is much too patient for my whiny ass... :D I love ya woman!**

**Thanks to Sixxeightshuffle and VvDeadRosesvV for the motivation and advice that I so desperately needed. Now, let's power through these EPOVs and save our Edward, shall we?**

**This chapter is a bit of fluff to ease all the Tanya-Drama we've been experiencing lately. Just a little brotherly, drunken bonding. Who can say no to that? This takes place during the time where Tanya just got back from visiting Kate, and Edward can't reach her.**

**The next chapter is done, written, and will be posted soon after this. (It's got some damn SEXXXXXY times...let me tell you.)**

**Love to my readers, Love to SM for creating/owning Twilight**

**And onwards...**

***************************************

I got home around 3:30 p.m., tossing my keys on the counter and removing my already loosened tie. I had just returned from a meeting with a room of suits, who clapped my back and told me I had a knack for making mindless jingles something to remember. My stomach twisted in disappointment. It was a fucking song about beans. And they're just going to take this cheesy piece of music and play it over their shitty commercial while a substantial amount of money is being deposited into my checking account. Pretty fucking sweet, right?

_God, I hate my job._

I _despise_ it. I'm living the life of a sellout. I don't want to write songs about vegetables for cash. I want to write songs that mean something. I've never been that concerned about money. I mean, I've written a lot of crap-ass jingles over the years. Dolls, hotdogs, razors, maple syrup, shoes….I've got a fuck of a lot more money than I let on.

I'm going to quit as soon as Tanya is out of my life, and I'm encompassed by nothing but Bella Swan and my insatiable love for music. I was worried that she'd be a little put off by entering a relationship with an unemployed pessimist, but then I remembered that it's my girl, and she's fucking awesome. I could just hear her voice, once I tell her my desire to end this unsatisfying career. She'll say, _"That's great, babes. You're so much better than that job, and I just want you to be happy."_

I walked to the fridge and popped open a bottle of Flying Dog, the only beer I've wanted since that night at Bad Albert's where Bella completely dominated my existence. I took a long swig, but it wasn't enough. I dumped it down the sink and hopped up on my counter—I kept the good stuff in very high cabinets. My nephew was a sneaky little guy, I had to make sure he wouldn't find it and get curious. I hopped down and took a swift, biting sip from the aged scotch. The burn was bittersweet, much like most things in my life.

I hadn't seen Bella for several days and while this isn't the first time we've stayed apart, it's definitely the most painful. I'm on edge all the time. I hear a loud noise and I jump a mile in the air. Someone looks at me funny and I want to crush their skull. I feel like I don't have a bit of control over my life, and it's driving me mad.

Wanna be with the girl of your dreams? Sorry, trapped with this other girl who's ignoring you because she knows you're gonna dump her ass.

Wanna do something you're passionate about? No dice, brother. Gotta sell out to make a fucking buck.

The man's always trying to keep me down, as my sister would say.

I took another swig from my bottle. Yes it's the early afternoon, and no I don't care. I walked out on my balcony and smoked three consecutive cigarettes. I smiled. If Bella were here, she'd wrinkle up her nose in disgust, all cute and shit. My girl's a damn hypocrite of course. Give her a drink and it's immediately followed by a cigarette. I don't care, I love her like mad. And I miss her like fucking crazy too. I get to see her tomorrow when I pick up Masen from school. I mean yeah, we're gonna be in front of a bunch of little kids, so I can't kiss her or anything. But I'm thinking if I at least get to look at her and breathe in her scent, the strangling feeling in my throat will go away. I took another gulp from my burning bottle. Shit's nasty but it does the trick. I'm wallowing today. I think I'm fucking allowed, after all the shit I've been dealing with. Of course I have no one to blame for said shit but myself, but whatever.

I glared at my cell phone for awhile. I've called Tanya 14 fucking times since I've gotten out of my meeting. She won't call me because she knows I'm done with her. Her plane landed early this morning, and I spent the entire A.M. outside her door. She never came home, and I'm so fucking frustrated. I wonder where she's hiding. I don't care anymore, you know? Like I honestly could give a shit what happens to her at this point. I've cared for a long time, but she keeps putting me through this crap. So I'm done, and I just fucking hope she hasn't turned me into a cold-hearted bastard. No, not when I have Bella to save me. I flipped my phone open and typed out a text to my love.

_I'm drunken texting at 3:42 p.m. Do you still love me?_

All the kids should have been gone for the day, so I was pretty certain she'd write back. And I was right.

_Lol, of course I do. Don't drive anywhere, babes. Why drunk?_

I smiled widely, already feeling my cold, dead heart start to flame.

_I hate her and I miss you. Bella, I really fucking miss you._

I could almost hear her sighing forlornly as she texted back.

_: ( Me too. Me really fucking too. How was the meeting? Are you still wearing that suit?_

I chuckled and threw my cigarette over the railing before immediately lighting another one. It still boggled my fucking mind how happy she made me in the blink of an eye. For some reason it got her all hot and bothered when I wore a suit, so I turned my phone around and snapped a quick picture. Eh, I looked more like a business man on the top of a building before he jumps rather than an executive on his way to the office. My hair was jacked as always and my stubble was already beginning to cover my face. My tie was gone and the top three buttons of my dress shirt were undone. I had a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and was squinting like some kind of fucking Clint Eastwood wannabe. But I sent it to her anyway, captioning it with: _Come help me take it off._

She replied a moment later with a simple _"Fuck. Me." _The next fifteen minutes consisted of a quasi-dirty text messaging session, but I put a lid on it once my dick got hard. There was no point for either one of us to get all worked up. Endlessly fucking cockblocked…the story of my life.

I heaved a deep breath and drudged back into my apartment with nothing to do and nowhere to go. What the hell did I do before Bella anyway?

I took another swig from my bottle and suddenly noticed that I was properly fuckered up at that point. The urge to be near Bella nearly knocked me over, so I knew it was time to go crazy bitch hunting. Unfortunately I promised my love that I wouldn't drive, and Emmett was at practice. I sent a quick text to Bella, telling her I loved her and that I'd call her later. Then I flipped my phone open and waited for my partner in crime to pick up the phone. I heard his goofy fucking southern twang, and my smile widened. "Jazz, you wanna go on an adventure?" I asked deviously.

He chuckled deeply and said, "Be there in fifteen."

***********************

Two hours later and Jazz was just as shitfaced as I was. I knew there was a flaw in this plan of mine.

At least I convinced him to let me give him "war paint" with Masen's Crayola markers. Heh, I don't care who you are, that shit is funny. I drew a buffalo on my face just to get him to stop whining like a little bitch.

It was pretty bad ass.

I started laughing obnoxiously at the way this night had turned out. It was always something. I heard Bella's ringtone sound from the balcony, so I ran like a mother fucker to catch it in time.

"Hey baby," I crooned, leaning over the railing and enjoying the increased palpitations she caused my heart.

"Hey drunkass," she giggled. "Alice informed me that you've roped Jasper into your dastardly ways?"

"Hmm, maybe I did," I said lazily, rocking my hips back and forth. "What are you doing right now? Come here."

She sighed exasperatedly. "Don't even start with me, Edward Cullen. Stop using that voice, you're going to kill me."

"What voice?" I asked in a completely un-innocent tone. "Come here and tell me. I'll be good, just get closer. I need you closer to me."

She grunted in frustration and I only felt a little remorseful. The rest of me was just plain fucking horny. "I love you," she sighed longingly. "Just be careful, and have fun on your boy's night. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

My heart clenched and the rest of me got all mushy at my girl's tender words. "I love you so much, Bella. Fucking hell, I'm losing my mind without you."

"I know, baby," she whispered, and my cock perked up at her words. She'd been calling me baby more and more, and for some reason that word was directly related to the blood flow into my penis. "Well, I'm probably going to read my book and call it an early night," she continued," the sooner I wake up, the sooner I get to see you."

My face broke out into this weird smile. It was all heartwarming and endearing, and I suddenly began to wonder how a drunken hornball could have such an expression on his face. "Okay, love. Sweet dreams, I'll see you soon. I love you."

We got off the phone in the same way we always did. Slow and lazy tones, procrastinating good-byes and aching hearts. Sometimes I still couldn't believe she loved me. I was certainly blessed in the few areas of my life that weren't complete shit.

When I walked back into my living room, I couldn't help but chuckle. There sat Jazz on the couch, looking like he was getting reprimanded by his mommy. Emmett was standing in the hallway, his arms crossed over his Seahawks polo and a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"Well, well. What do we have here," he said sarcastically.

"Fuck off, Emmett," I yelled a little louder than necessary. "It's war paint, and you're just pissed cause you don't have any."

He scoffed, and Jasper and I exchanged a silent conversation with the nods of our heads. Emmett was a huge bastard, but with my knees digging into his shoulders and Jazz's fat ass pinning down his stomach, we officially war-painted the shit out of him.

Okay, so maybe we took the blue marker to his eyelids, the red to his lips and the black to his chin, giving him a big ass beauty mark. He was a big bitch, that was for sure.

Emmett finally overpowered us as Jazz and I fell to the floor, laughing our asses off. "Whore-paint," I snorted, gasping for breath and sending Jasper into another round of hysterics.

"Damn, Em, if I wasn't a married man," Jasper drawled, earning a kick to the side from Em's size 14 shoe.

"You guys are douches," he muttered, walking to the kitchen and washing his face.

Fucking Crayola. Next time, it was Sharpies all the way.

"So," Emmett began, wiping his face with a towel," what are you ladies doing tonight besides your make up?"

I sighed, tipping back the empty bottle of scotch and begging for something to come out. Sadly, it had gone dry. "I _was_ going crazy bitch hunting so I could break up with _her_ and officially be with Bella."

Emmett plopped down on the couch next to me and handed me a beer before cracking one open for himself. He gave me a sympathetic smile before clapping me on the back. "You really gonna break up with an unstable person with fucking marker all over your face, dude?"

I was going to answer, but was distracted by some sort of choking bird noise coming from behind us. We turned around, and there was Jasper. My tie tied around his head, his eyes just slits, and laughing like some kind of fucked up pigeon. Maybe he was worse off than I was.

I got up off the couch and went to wash my face. "Why the hell did I invite Mr. Logical anyway? This war paint is the shit."

Emmett rose from the couch and pushed Jazz towards the bathroom to wash his face. "Yeah, whatever. Get that shit off your face so we can get this night started. We'll wait for _whatsherface_ for awhile, but then we're going to the damn bar for some wings whether you like it or not."

After we were socially acceptable again and Jazz consumed about a gallon of water, we finally left the apartment. It was already getting dark out, the rain just threatening to fall on the horizon. I knew I had to ask.

"Em, just swing over to Bella's for a minute?" I asked seriously, fighting off my impending hiccup.

"No way, man. You two aren't allowed to rub up on each other till the other one is out. You're the one who told me to keep you away, remember?" he asked, clapping my back and almost pummeling me over.

I wasn't going to beg, but I had to try once more. "Five minutes. Come on, Emmett. What would you do if this was you and Rose?"

That one seemed to get to him, as I knew it would, and after a long moment of silence he reluctantly agreed.

I was nearly bouncing out of the car as we made our way towards my girl's house. It's not that I wasn't all for a guy's night, I just needed five minutes. Five minutes would refresh me. Five minutes would bring a whole new level of elation to this horribly shitty week.

He finally pulled into her driveway and I was grinning like a fucking hyena. "Time me. If I'm not back in five, you drag my ass back to this car, got it?"

They both agreed and I jogged to Bella's door, not willing to waste another minute. I knocked, since she wasn't expecting me. I hoped she wouldn't be pissed at me for breaking the "no contact till we're free" rule. I just couldn't help myself.

The second the door sprung open, I was effectively wrapped around her. She gasped a little in surprise, but melted her body right into mine as she let it all sink in.

"Edward," she began, but I stopped her.

"Five minutes," I whispered, pulling her inside the door dropping us to the floor. I could properly hold her close enough when she was straddling my hips. And also, _I really fucking liked it._

She held me tightly, her legs wrapped around my back and her arms wrapped around my neck. We didn't speak, just moaned and sighed in utter fucking completion. My arms held her securely, pulling at her skin to get closer and inhaling her scent to the point of dizziness. I already felt as light as a fucking feather, and a mere minute had past.

I loosened my grip so I could look into her eyes, my forehead pressed tightly against hers. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, her fingers pulling through my hair.

"I couldn't wait," I smiled sheepishly, brushing an errant strand of hair from her eyes. "Is it okay?"

She rolled her eyes and buried her face in my neck, inhaling deeply. "It's perfect," she breathed. "Wow, Edward. I think I'm getting a buzz from just being next to you."

I laughed, my eyes going all fuzzy as they tried to focus on hers, but begrudgingly kept drifting down to her lips and…other places. "I needed a drink," I shrugged. "You should see Jazz, baby. He's all kinds of fucked up."

"Really?" she questioned. "What's this?" she giggled, fingering a spot over my jaw. "Is this marker?"

_Fucking war paint._

I groaned in embarrassment, wondering how that brilliant idea even crossed our minds. "It's my war paint…don't ask," I said, shaking my head.

Her eyes were bright and happy as she gazed back at me. Five minutes with my girl was better than any heaven you could ever offer me. I ran my hands up and down her arms and sighed. "How are you, Bella? Are you okay?" I was really fucking worried about her. I wasn't the only one who was stressed out about the _Crazy Bitch of Elusiveness_.

"I'm okay," she smiled like the fucking trooper that she is. "I'm even better now," she whispered, snuggling into me further and kissing my throat.

A distinct shiver ran through my body and it made her giggle. Christ, this was so good. I didn't even need to kiss her lips. Just having her close, smelling her hair, touching her skin, seeing her smile….it was all I needed.

We just sat next to the door, wrapped up in each other. Our foreheads pressed together and soft, happy words passing between us as we held on tight. My heart was beating out of my chest. "I love you," I whispered, pulling her hair to the side and caressing the soft skin of her neck.

Her eyes opened and closed lazily as the constant smile on her face never faltered. "I love…holy shit!" Bella cried in shock as the front door flew open.

"Five minutes are up, lovebirds," Emmett boomed, plopping down on the floor next to us and kissing Bella on the cheek. "Hey, B. What's shakin'?"

I groaned unhappily, burying my face in her neck. She just laughed and ran her fingers through my hair soothingly. "Not much, Em. You DD tonight? That's quite a change for you, are you sure you can handle it?" she teased.

I didn't want to leave her.

I knew I had to.

_Stupid fucking five minute bullshit_.

Emmett let out a loud burp and punched his chest, forcing out one more. "I had a beer, I'm good."

She gazed at me lovingly and rolled her eyes at my obnoxious brother's actions. "Thank you for being you," she whispered.

_Sigh…._

"Aaaaall my exes live in Texas," I heard the drunken one bellow from outside as he made his way up the front walk.

I kissed her nose and rolled my eyes right back. "It's only going to get worse."

She just laughed and pulled at the small hair at the base of my neck. "I can't leave you," I said softly under Jasper's insufferable singing.

Her sympathetic eyes never left mine as Jasper plopped a kiss on the top of my girl's head. "Hey, Bells. You comin' with us?"

That pissed me off.

"Real fucking brilliant, Jasper," I growled.

She looked at me hopefully, and thanks to my dickhead brother, I had to crush her. "What are you guys doing next?" she said timidly, her eyes flashing between my eyes and my chest.

_Christ, she was fucking adorable._

"We're waiting…." I started awkwardly. "…outside her house….so I can get it over with and never have to leave you again."

She nodded, a disappointed smile covering her face. I let out an uneven breath and rubbed my nose against hers. "I never will again, baby, once this is over with. Never…"

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me as tight as her little muscles would allow. Fuck it. "We could do something else, love. We could all go to the bar or something. Or we could hang out here…"

She interrupted me.

"No, babes," she smiled. "It's important. We aren't supposed to be together right now anyway. We'll survive. I'll see you tomorrow, and hopefully by then she'll be out of the picture."

I ran my hands up and down her sides as I crushed her to me. "As far as I'm concerned, she already is," I whispered, kissing her ear.

"Alright, I'm going to lose my fucking lunch. Get up, Doucheward. Time to go," Emmett sighed, rising to his feet.

Jasper emerged from Bella's kitchen with a sandwich in his hand.

"Jazz you're fucking rude!" I yelled, helping Bella up off the floor.

He shrugged and smiled his wide, lazy smile. "Sorry, Bells," he apologized with a mouthful of food.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist. "It's okay, Jazz. Help yourself."

"Cang I hague a peesh ah cake ina fidge?" he muttered through the chewed up particles in his mouth.

Bella just cringed and waved him in the direction of the kitchen.

It amazed me that these two had significant others.

Emmett's cell phone started ringing and he walked outside to take it. My face lit up as I picked Bella up and twirled her over my head. Unfortunately I was still a little drunk and we crashed to the couch, laughing like maniacs. She shook her head at me, and I beamed so hard my face hurt. "We get more time," I whispered excitedly. She just sighed and kissed my hand before snuggling against my chest.

Perfect. All of it.

"Oh!" she jumped up, causing me to shudder as her body left mine. "I wanted to show you something," she smiled sweetly. She leaned over the arm of the couch and rustled through her bag as she flaunted her little ass right in front of me. Christ, what kind of willpower did she think I had? Just as I was about to reach out and cop a feel, she turned back around. She eyed me suspiciously. I just smiled crookedly.

She obviously forgave me.

I snuggled up next to her as she handed me the piece of paper. "Masen drew this for me today," she said.

I laughed as I took in my nephew's drawing. He drew people like potatoes with stick arms and legs coming out. "Did he explain who's who?" I asked.

She leaned into me and began pointing to the paper. "Yeah, that's his mommy and daddy, that's grandma and grandpa, this is Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosie, and those two holding hands right there?" she stopped and looked up at me with a bright smile. "That's Uncle E and Aunt Bella."

My heart fucking clenched and throbbed at that magnificent statement. It just sounded right.

_Uncle E and Aunt Bella._

"See," she whispered thoughtfully, running her fingers over potato Edward and potato Bella. "We're together in the ways that matter, to the people who matter."

I scooped her up and crashed my lips against hers, because no one could fucking tell me I wasn't allowed to kiss the love of my life.

Our mouths moved together passionately, lovingly, meaningfully. Nothing could take this away from us.

"Let me stay," I whispered breathlessly between kisses. "It doesn't matter anymore, please let me stay."

She just grabbed a handful of my hair and kissed me harder.

"Edward fucking Cullen."

My brother was a fucking pain in the ass.

I dropped my head to Bella's shoulder as she caught her breath. "What?" I asked viciously.

"Time to go, Buttercup," he said in a sing-song voice. "You know I can throw your bony ass over my shoulder, but I thought you might want to keep your dignity in front of the lady."

I guess he had a point.

I looked up at Bella and she cupped my face in her hands. "He's right, babes. I'd totally judge you if he had to carry you out of here," she deadpanned.

I laughed.

My baby was hilarious.

"It's okay," she whispered, kissing my lips once more. "Tomorrow. Then forever, right?"

"Absolutely," I murmured, kissing her softly.

I held her hand tightly as we headed towards the door. "Jazz, get your fat ass out here," I called.

He bounded out of the kitchen with chocolate all over his face. _What the fuck._

"He's skinnier than you are," Bella laughed.

"Maybe, but I bet he just consumed half of your refrigerator," I chuckled.

"I left the butter," Jazz giggled, obviously very proud of himself.

I just shook my head.

"Alright ladies, let's go toss that nut job so you two can stop eye-fucking already," Emmett bellowed, forcing himself between Bella and I and clapping our backs.

I snorted. We've certainly done more than eye-fucking.

My brothers piled out of the door and I leaned against the frame, my heart clenching awkwardly. This fucking blew.

"Look at it this way. If you break up with her tonight, you can come back," she whispered suggestively, running her hand down my chest.

Well fuck, I didn't think of _that_!

"Hmm, perfect motivation, Ms. Swan," I murmured against her throat. She kissed my cheek and pushed me away.

"I love you. See you tomorrow. Or tonight. But let's be realistic, our luck is shit. I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled sadly.

I walked backwards, nearly falling on my ass. She giggled. I soared. "I love you, Bella."

She stood in her doorway and watched us pull away. My face was glued to the car window until I could no longer see her.

_Fucking sad._

*****************

"Tell me I'm a fucking genius and I'll let you go, Doucheward."

I thought we outgrew head locks fifteen years ago. _Fucker._

"Fine you're a genius, let me go, dick!"

"I'm telling you, Rose may bitch at me for all the shit I keep in the jeep, but I'm always fucking prepared," he smiled cockily.

All because he had lawn chairs.

We pulled up in front of Tanya's apartment building a half an hour ago. I called twice. No answer. I went upstairs. No one came to the door. This was some bullshit. By the time I came back down, three lawn chairs were set up on the sidewalk and my brothers were staring at me expectantly.

"Better settle in," I muttered dejectedly.

And here we sat. Luckily Jazz and I thought enough to bring flasks. Why not, right?

"Dude, are we going to get arrested for trespassing or stalking or something?" Jazz asked all twitchy.

I snorted. "No, but you might get it for public intoxication if you don't control your shit," I mumbled, cigarette hanging precariously out of my mouth.

Where in the fuck was she?

"So Edward, how the fuck did you get in this jacked up situation anyway?" Emmett questioned, ripping the flask out of my hand and taking a sip.

"You already know, Emmett," I grumbled, running my hand roughly through my hair.

"Yeah, but, she won't answer her phone right? So voicemail her ass," he shrugged.

"Fucking Emily Anderson broke up with me on my family's answering machine when I was thirteen. My entire family heard it. Bitch," Jazz muttered.

"Well, it's done tomorrow no matter what. Even if I have to get one of those…what the fuck do you call them…with the airplane smoke?" I snapped my fingers, trying to think of what the hell that thing was called.

"Uh, skywriting? Aren't you in advertising, dumb shit?" Emmett said in his snotty, tool-like tone.

"God, shut up, why are you such a dick?" I muttered, my face twisted in discontent. His abuse was really the last thing I needed.

"Alright, gentlemen," Jazz interrupted. "Once we turn on each other, the enemy has won. Is that what you want?"

I scoffed. "She's clearly already won, Jasper. We're sitting in front of her empty apartment like a bunch of fucking idiots," I grumbled.

Emmett sighed in defeat and plopped his big hand on my head, shaking it around. "Come on, little brother. Let's give it an hour and if she doesn't show, we'll go let off some steam. You said it's done tomorrow anyway, right? Well it's practically tomorrow."

I just lit up another cigarette and fought to keep my temper under control.

Just as I suspected, she never fucking showed, and I was one step closer to losing my composure.

****************

Fifteen. Triple threes. Bull's eye.

Even alcohol can't stand in the way of my awesomeness.

I handed the bar darts to Jasper as he glared at me. Heh, sucker. I sat down next to Emmett and took a long sip of my beer. He just stared at me like a creeper.

"What?" I asked in a very annoyed tone.

"You really mean to tell me that you and Bella haven't fucked?" he asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

I grinned goofily. "It's none of your business, man."

Jazz rejoined us. "Look at that shit-eating grin. I can't believe you've been holding out on your own brothers. Disgraceful."

I just shook my head and widened my smile.

Emmett threw his darts and sat back down. "Damn, Eddie. If you really haven't fucked her, than you deserve a freaking medal. Those doe eyes, that whole sexy teacher vibe she's got going on? Hell, if I wasn't with Rose, I'd be all over that shit."

"Watch it," I said sternly, pointing at his chest with my beer bottle.

"Easy, Emo-boy. I'm just sayin'," he chuckled.

I kept my mouth shut and threw the damn darts. Of course my perverted brothers wouldn't let it go.

"Did you tap that? Did you did you did you did you did you did you—"

"No, Emmett, okay?! Jesus fucking Christ!" I said exasperatedly, dragging my fingers through my hair.

Jazz let out a low whistle. "Hand job? Oral copulation? Dry humping? Joint masturbation? I know you guys make out….." he speculated.

I kept my eyes glued to the floor as he voiced his last two guesses.

They both stared at me unabashedly.

I let out a harsh chuckle as I lined up at the dart board. "Stare all you want, that shit stays between my girl and I."

They rolled their eyes and scoffed. "Do you at least know what her come face looks like?" Emmett asked exasperatedly.

Just as I was about to release the dart, I froze and dropped my hand. I grinned crookedly as I turned my head to the side. "Boys, her _come_ face, as you so delicately put it, is a fucking sight to behold. Now drop it and give Bella some respect."

They shut right the fuck up and I just grinned, feeling pretty damn satisfied with myself.

******************************************

At 2 a.m., Emmett pulled into my parking lot and I crawled out of the backseat. I leaned against the driver's side window and chucked at Jasper, snoring like a mother fucker as drool ran down his chin.

"I thought people from the south could handle their alcohol?" I mused.

Emmett just shrugged. "Hey man, I'm sorry for being a bastard before. I was just trying to lighten the mood, I know things are bad right now."

Was I getting punk'd? Was Emmett fucking Cullen…._apologizing_?

My eyebrows pulled together in shock. This had never happened before. "It's alright, Em," I said awkwardly.

A moment of blaring silence passed before he finally sighed loudly and held out his fist. "Well whatever, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't such a fucking drama queen."

My brother was back. I just shook my head at him and tapped his knuckles before he drove away.

I called Tanya once more before finally giving up in my attempts to reach her. For tonight anyway. There were two things that kept me going. One, I was going to see my baby tomorrow and two, bitch face would be back to school.

She could play her little games all she wanted. Freedom was mine once I had her cornered in that empty classroom.

I could almost see my happiness looming in the distance. I was going to fucking reach it, no matter what the cost.

**************************************

**Aw. :)**

**Leave me some sugar!**

**EPOV sex is on the way...WOOT!**

**Now, onto some major pimpage. There's a new story you absolutely must check out. It's called Breaking Trinity by VvDeadRosesvV, and guess what? I just so happen to be her beta! It is all kinds of hot, sexy win. I mean, come on. Her Edward's nickname is Snarlward…you know you can't go wrong. But really, her writing is exotic and her lemons are **_**unghhhhhhh**_**, so do yourself a favor and check out her story. Linkage: ****http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5379823/1/Breaking_Trinity**

**Review, my lovelies! :)**


	11. Together

**Yep...me again. We're powering through!**

**Hope you all enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. Heh.**

**Isabel, I heart you. You already know that.**

**SM owns.**

********************

Everything was so fucking hot and sticky in the small confines of my Volvo.

I was sweating right through both of my shirts.

I felt my clammy hand slipping against Bella's, which was doing nothing for my self-control and insatiable imagination.

_Hey perv, your nephew's in the back seat._

_Jesus._

This day had been a rollercoaster to say the least. I'd been anxious all day, desperate to get a hold of Tanya and end this nightmare once and for all. We finally agreed on meeting later that night, and I kept my fingers crossed that this would be it. I begged Alice to let me get Mase from school, because I was going to fucking flip if I didn't see Bella that instant. As soon as I walked in, I knew she was upset. When she told me why, holy hell….I just didn't know Tanya was capable of such behavior. I knew right then that she needed more help than I could ever even begin to give her. I hugged her tight and cheered her up. An hour later, my smooth operator nephew made her swoon at the door and we were on our way to family night.

Bella and I were having a fucking beautiful moment during _Ice Age 3_, in front of children and Diego and Manny and _God_ to see. I just happened to glance up and see _her_ standing in the back of the dim theater. I knew she saw me kiss Bella. I didn't fucking care. I walked her into the lobby and began to break up with her, but she just wouldn't stop interrupting me. Before I knew it, my family was standing behind me and she invited herself to dinner with us. What the fuck. I dragged her out to her car and explained it to her like I would a small child. "Tanya, I'm breaking up with you. We are not together anymore, do you understand what I'm saying?" Yeah, she just giggled and ruffled my hair before speeding away. This whole thing was beyond fucked up.

I knew I hadn't seen the last of her, and she proved me right when she showed up at our dinner table like Glen Fucking Close. Since you can't really go ape shit on a crazy bitch in the middle of Chuck E. Cheese, we just dealt with the intrusion. Until she snapped at Masen, that is. My gloves were fucking off. I not so gently pulled her outside and shoved her inside of her car. And then she just spilled her unstable guts. How she wanted to heal me (WTF?) and marry me and fix me and be with me and love me. Hmm, how about no. Finally, after some harsh words and bitter tones, I saw the light bulb click on inside her head. She got it. She cried. She left. I was free. I ran my ass back into that restaurant and scooped up my girl, hell bent on never letting her go. And then this weird moment happened. Where everything disappeared and it was just us without anything standing in our way. I pulled Bella away and laid my fucking soul down on the line. We came together and I gave her my heart behind the pinball machine—Christ, that sounds like a country song—and I knew I'd never be the same again. We laughed, we cried, we fucking gave it our all. We tried to stay social and play games with the family, but it was impossible. Nothing existed but us in that moment, and I needed to hold her tight enough to feel her little heart beat against my chest. To feel her breath showering across my skin. I needed to just _feel_ her, plain and simple. We ran to my car and crawled inside and I have never…_never_ felt anything so real in my entire life. I was a changed man.

I was still on cloud fucking nine after the beautiful moments my girl and I shared as we drove towards her house. She was finally mine—officially and irrevocably. It was…..everything to me. She cried, I cried, and we fucking loved each other like it was the last thing we'd ever do. But now? Damn…_now_ I needed to show her with my tongue.

And my teeth.

And my cock.

_Fuck._

How do you convince your girlfriend to have sex with you when there's a slumbering child in the next room? That wasn't the kind of shit you get arrested for, was it? I mean, people who have kids obviously have sex, they probably just have to be really quiet…

…Or get a babysitter.

_Fuck._

I pressed my automatic window button eagerly, sighing as the cool air assaulted my feverish skin. I let go of Bella's hand and ran my fingers through my hair. I had to get a grip on myself.

Or _she_ had to get a grip on me…

"You okay?" Bella asked, placing her hand on my thigh.

I jumped a foot in the air when her small hand made contact with my leg.

She just giggled and shook her head. Well at least _she_ was enjoying herself.

Alice called Bella's phone and started throwing words around like "Fuck me sideways sex." Thanks, little sister. The thought never fucking occurred to me.

Nah, I really had to work on composing myself. Chances were, we wouldn't be getting busy tonight, and it was okay. I might have been going to bed—her bed no less—with the biggest case of blue balls in the history of cockblockedness, but I'd endure it for her.

And after we took Masen home…._fuh-king-hell_. I was going to throw the fuck down. My girl would be coming six ways from Sunday, and I couldn't wait.

I pulled into Bella's driveway and parked the car. We stared at each other with heavy eyes and parted lips. The sexual tension could be cut, sliced and fucking served.

_We were in so much trouble._

I carried the little guy to the house because he was too damn tired and stubborn for his own good. I set him down and stole a kiss from Bella's neck before she took him into the spare bedroom to get his PJ's on.

I then proceeded to let out the largest fucking gush of breath I could muster.

_Calm the fuck down, Cullen._

I was really going to try. Until that little vixen walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. I studied her beautiful body greedily as she crept towards me at an agonizingly slow pace. Wavy brown curls falling past her pert breasts. The curve of her hips that fit my hands so perfectly. Those big fucking eyes that didn't hide a single thing from me.

_She fucking wanted it._

_I was flat out dying for it._

"Get here faster," I growled, suddenly aggravated that she was taking up so much of our precious alone time.

She giggled all fucking cute-like before hauling ass and crashing that soft body into my very hard one.

_Very fucking hard._

I decided I needed to show her I meant business, so I took my tongue and dragged it forcefully along her bottom lip. She moaned deliciously, pushing her hips against me eagerly as her tongue slid out to catch mine. My hands traveled down her back and grabbed her ass, slamming her into me as I captured her tongue between my lips. I sucked so fucking hard I began to wonder if it was possible to give a tongue a hickey. _I was so making this happen tonight._

I ran my fingers up and down her neck, my cock twitching as I felt the blood flowing through her veins. I asked her what Alice had to say, since the word _sex_ was quite evident in their conversation.

She stared at me blankly while her pink tongue wetted her perfect lips. I was going to capture them again before she held up a piece of paper to me. I leaned down and caught her bottom lip between my teeth and yanked. A soft _fuck_ escaped her lips as she pulled on my hair a little rougher than normal. Christ, I was going to nut right here if we kept on teasing each other like this.

I unfolded the paper and read it intently.

_Bear Soundtrack after Masen's sleeping. MEDIUM VOLUME._

_Wedge pillows between wall and headboard_

_Turn radio on in my room—medium_

_Don't be a loudass._

I cleared my throat and kept my face straight. I was either going to do the Irish jig of good fortune or pin Bella against the wall and ravish her.

_He ain't sleepin' yet._

The little man was still getting ready for bed, and I needed a preview of what was to come.

_Heh, pun absolutely intended. _

I basically asked her if she wanted to make it happen while I sucked and bit the soft flesh of her neck. My hands slid down past her ass and I groaned deeply as she lifted her thigh and pressed it right into my straining cock. I felt my precum leaking from my tip and knew it was way too fucking early in the night for this shit.

Good thing I was a glutton for punishment.

I dragged my teeth back up her neck and over her jaw before resting my mouth on top of hers. I wasn't going to fucking budge. Just heaving breaths, sticky bodies and wandering hands as we waited to see who would grant our tongues the pleasure first.

We caved at the same time in sloppy, wayward strokes. I moaned softly, grabbing her hand and sliding it down to my cock.

"Fuck," she whimpered, squeezing me and pumping me through my pants.

_Have to stop. Have to stop. Have to really fucking stop._

"We need to get that boy to bed," I whispered darkly, my hands descending underneath her shirt and pulling at her skin to get her closer.

"Why?" she purred, dragging her nails across the enormous bulge in my pants. She was being all sexy and innocent, which she fucking knew drove me insane. _Tease._ I told her so, but she just smiled and told me she'd make it better later. "Because we can absolutely make this happen," she whispered, her tongue flicking my bottom lip as my heart soared in optimism—and hormones. "Yeah?" I questioned against her lips, pulling her closer and running my thumbs over her nipples as she nodded her affirmation. It was one of those quiet, wonderful moments, where everything is silent except for rustling clothes and staggering breaths. Just the urgent sounds of needing another person so desperately and struggling to get there as fast as possible. _Christ, did I need it_. I was so fucking hard, I knew you could see me throbbing right through the fabric. I wanted her to get down on her knees and see for herself, but just then a four foot tall little tornado came storming out of the bedroom.

We stepped away from each other quickly and I was pretty fucking certain I was going to pass out from this shit. I untucked my shirt to hide my very obvious arousal. The last thing I wanted to do was scar the kid. I grabbed the movie from Masen and put the disc in the player. After my visualization exercises (Grandma in a tank top and Emmett's fucking feet) I was finally in an acceptable state to be around children.

Well, as much as can be expected.

Mase crawled up into our laps, laying his head on Bella's knee and his feet on mine. I wrapped him up tightly and ran a hand through his hair, causing me to smile. He was a damn good kid. It didn't really matter that he was keeping me from….everything he was keeping me from.

I gulped and looked over at Bella. She was eye-fucking the shit out of me already. Sorry Grandma, Sorry Emmett. Bella fucking pwned you both.

I stared into her eyes as my hand trembled to reach out to her. Things were back to hot and sticky, except much more powerful and stifling. It was so thick it was choking me. I couldn't fight off the impending lust anymore. I wanted to do dirty, dirty fucking deeds to Bella Swan. Unspeakable, deviant, fucking mind-blowing things.

I just couldn't hold it back any longer.

I turned up the volume on the TV before leaning over and stroking my girl's ear with my hot tongue. I ran it up and down the outside just like I was going to run it along her wet folds. "I can't wait to feel you naked underneath me," I murmured, biting down on her ear and making her hiss. "I can't wait to feel you come on my cock."

Our eyes connected, and hers were widened in surprise and fucking arousal. I hadn't been so forward with her before, but hell, I was just getting started. She asked me how she was supposed to stay quiet if I talked to her like that. I just slid my tongue in the crook behind her ear and told her I was going to make her fucking scream.

She shivered.

I twitched.

I was too far gone. Past the point of no return, and I never wanted to come back. I pulled my fingers along her collarbone and up her neck, my eyes closing at the heated feel of her skin. She was losing her shit just like I was. My eyes smoldered into hers as my forefinger drifted across her pump lips. She didn't hesitate to pull it right in her mouth and tongue fuck me like she meant fucking it. My eyes were heavy slits, my mouth gaping and my other hand pushing down vigorously on my crotch. I would have exploded if I didn't, and this was starting to get all kinds of fucking wrong, but I couldn't stop. I just watched the tight suction of her lips around my finger and her dark eyes as she worked me out. She released my finger from her soft clutches and I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin if her legs weren't wrapped around me at once.

I stared at her desperately, nostrils flaring and breaths short and deep. I had never fucking needed something so badly in my entire life. Her eyes broke away from mine and it pissed me off. No breaking away tonight. I took a glance at my nephew and he was sleeping peacefully.

I crashed my mouth against hers so forcefully our teeth clacked together and our tongues slapped. The low guttural groan my girl let out made me fucking wild and wet and dying for her juices on my cock.

"Edward, take him," she pleaded around my persistent lips.

I told her I would but, fuck, I just couldn't stop. I needed more from her, I couldn't stop taking.

She asked me again and I stood up quickly, trying not to falter in my steps as my Bella induced haze enveloped me entirely.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I whispered breathlessly, running my hand through my hair haphazardly.

I scooped Masen up and brought him to the bedroom, my arms trembling in anticipation. There was nothing stopping us now. I tucked him in and kissed his forehead, silently begging him to _stay freaking sleeping_.

_Do Uncle E a solid, Mase._

I stood up and adjusted myself, the rough fabric of my jeans digging into very sensitive areas. I turned around and my breath was stolen from my body. She was panting, her hair was wild and she looked like she was going to fucking attack. I beat her to the punch.

I growled.

_Fucking. Growled._

My hands were everywhere, not able to decide what to treat themselves with first. I palmed her breasts forcefully and walked her backwards with only the shove of my cock to guide her. She hit the wall with an audible thump and my fingers squeezed every bare inch of her skin I could find. We weren't getting there fast enough.

She pulled my hair in tight fistfuls and I was rubbing myself against her upper thigh rapidly, dying for some fucking relief. I bit my way down her chest, pulling her shirt down and sliding my tongue up and down the valley between her breasts. My mouth traveled over to her fabric covered nipples and my teeth surrounded the full peak, biting and sucking the pleasure right out of her. Her hips were steadily thrusting against my chest as I administered just the right amount of pleasure and pain to her perfect fucking tits. I palmed myself forcefully as my mouth drifted lower, wetting her skin with my tongue and nipping it with my teeth. I wanted my marks all over her. I wanted every mother fucker in the greater Seattle area to know that she belonged to me. Only I could make that tight little body of hers writhe and beg…._only me._

I hastily asked her if she remembered the last time I had her pinned against this wall. She just mewled and thrashed around some more. Nope, that wouldn't suffice.

"Tell me," I demanded, taking the palm of my hand and pushing hard against her clit. I thought she was going to fucking weep in her desperate need for release.

"You want to fuck me until I forget my name," she breathed unevenly, her body visibly trembling in front of me.

_Ugh, you bet your sweet little ass I do, baby._

"Are you going to let me?" I questioned.

She nodded quickly, and I bit back an evil grin.

I slid back up her body, my lips capturing every piece of skin that I could find before I wrapped her in my arms. I wasn't just a rough and ready bastard. I had a lot of fucking love inside of me too. I kissed her lips gently, heavily, needy. I was ready to lay my baby down and show her exactly what we've been denying ourselves all this time.

She sprung from the wall with speed I didn't even know she was capable of, digging through Masen's bag like she was searching for buried treasure. Once the Bear CD was safely in her hands, she bolted across the room towards the player. I wasn't far behind.

I closed my eyes and inhaled her sweet scent mixed in with sweat and arousal. I wrapped myself around her tiny body like a blanket, my hand sliding between her heated thighs and pulling her backwards against my cock. I bit her neck and she cried out loudly, repeating a breathy, "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I sunk my fingers farther into her through the fabric of her pants, groaning as my fingers became wet from her drenched skin beneath. I twitched thinking about the sloppy sound we'd make as our hips collided fervently. My girl let out a frustrated sigh, but I couldn't break away from the hot liquid I felt against my fingers. "Hurry baby, I can't wait," I groaned, feeling my own wetness seeping through my boxers.

She said something, but I was firmly attached to the base of her neck and in no state to listen.

"Edward, concentrate!" she yelled, barely breaking me away from the task at hand.

I dropped my head to her shoulder and grunted, trying to get through the next thirty seconds without spontaneously combusting. I reached around her and messed with the volume dial, my tongue pressing against the side of her neck and devouring her skin. She wasn't going to be able to walk tomorrow. We were fucking doing this all night long. I wasn't going to stop. Her little hand slipped in between us and squeezed my rock hard package, struggling to get a proper grip on me through my clothing. I wanted it in her throat.

"That's medium, now let's go. If you aren't naked within thirty seconds I'm going to fucking collapse, I swear to Christ," I growled, grabbing her by her sides and practically dragging her out of the room. Her teeth clamped down on my bottom lip and I tasted blood as she groaned wildly from her need.

Fucking hell, it was just too _good._

The second we hit that hallway…..well, we just fucking attacked each other. She jumped into my arms the moment I went to slam her into the opposite wall, the ending result making us moan feverishly into each other's mouths as we crashed together violently. Her hands encircled my neck and clawed at my scalp as I slammed her back into the drywall. A picture fell off of the wall and the glass shattered. She didn't even fucking hear it; she was too concentrated on pushing that hot little pussy against my cock. I pulled at the waist of her jeans hastily, not bothering with buttons, just seeking instant gratification. Her fingernails dragged along my bare back underneath my shirt. I hissed and mimicked her actions with my teeth across her collarbone.

I wanted to pound into her. I wanted to feel the bed springs give and take in heated passion. I wanted to taste every fucking inch of her skin. I wanted to suck her clit into my mouth and feast on it until she screamed from the overwhelming sensation. None of these urges had ever risen inside of me before. It was always fuck, cum, shower, go home.

I wanted to sheath my dick inside her and never fucking remove it. Forever connected, body and fucking soul.

I leaned her against the wall and backed away, only my hips keeping her upright. My eyes were hungry and burning as I placed my hand on her chest and dragged it down, palm flat and heavy on her skin. Every exhale of her breath was a whimper, and it was doing nothing but adding fuel to the already scorching inferno. My hand finally reached the button of her pants and I released it quickly. Her back arched off the wall as she dove back on top of me, causing me to stumble and crash into the wall behind us. We were going to fucking destroy this house if we weren't careful.

"Too loud," she moaned, pulling at my neck to get our faces closer.

"Mmmm."

Nope, no words.

She went with it for awhile as my assault on her hastened.

"Baby, too loud!" she whimpered in frustration.

My head fell to her red shoulder, scratched by the scruff of my cheek and the hard enamel of my teeth. I placed gentle kisses over the irritation while I steadied my breathing. I lifted my head slowly and my breath caught from the sheer magnitude of my girls' beauty. It all changed in that moment. I still wanted to do dirty, dirty things to her, but I was just so fucking overcome with my love for her. There was always a happy medium when it came to love and sex. We were going to find it.

"Babes, we need to breathe. I have to get extra pillows, and we have to find something to play in our room, so we need to calm down for just a second," she pleaded, her nose crinkling up adorably. I knew if I surrendered my restraint, she would too. I reined that shit in for the sake of my love and our impending explosive sexual escapade. I knew it was important to follow my sister's instructions—_fucking gross_—but still important. Bella slid down my body slowly and pressed her forehead to my chest. My heart heaved as I ran her words through my mind once more. I started grinning like the cat that ate the fucking canary, and tilted her chin. "Bella, did you just say _our_ room?"

She giggled and I soared and just like that, we were us again. Enveloped in our physical need for each other, but not denying who we were and what we felt. She told me she loved me and my heart burned magnificently. "I love you to baby. Now let's get our work done so we can play." I kissed her softly as she hummed against my lips.

"Mmmm, I'm ready to play," she purred, lapping her sweet tongue against my mouth.

_Well fuuuuuuck me._

I kissed her deeply before turning her around and pressing her back against my chest as we walked to the hall closet.

My hand went straight to the skin between her belly button and the soft hair below her underwear. I held her tightly to me, closing my eyes and clenching my jaw as I felt her muscles tighten and release beneath my fingers. I pushed my forehead against the top of her head, dragging in a low breath before sliding my hand over the promise land. My legs damn near fucking buckled underneath me from the warmth of her wet, bare skin. "What do you want to play with?" I groaned, my voice about as heavy as my cock at that point.

She tightened the muscles between her legs, trapping the side of my index finger in her soaking wet grip. _Jesus. More, more, more, MORE!_

"You know!" she practically cried in desperation. I felt her legs trembling so I steadied her body against me. She wasn't getting off that easy.

"Mmmmm, I think you're going to have to say it, Bella," I said darkly, slipping my hand farther inside her pants and letting my fingers barely graze her soft hairs.

She was fucking squirming for me, and it drove me insane with pure, unadulterated _want_.

"I want your cock," she gasped, and I groaned viciously as I buried my fingers inside of her in one fluent motion.

She held me in place, and I could tell she was so fucking close. Her forehead met the wall and she widened her stance, just begging me to dive right in. I swirled around her swollen clit once but backed off, allowing my girl some sweet fucking torture. I was almost alarmed at the way she was shaking against me. I just held her tighter and whispered, "It's okay baby." This was all about her…._it always was_. I swear I was bi-polar, because my soothing words quickly turned devious and thick against her neck. "Now tell me where you want it."

I pushed one finger against her clit, my breath releasing rapidly as I felt it throbbing against me. She was so taken over that she couldn't even speak. Fuck, I couldn't have dreamed this shit, it was so fucking spectacular.

"In my mouth, in my—" she whimpered, pushing her tight little ass back into me forcefully. I swear to God if she said that one word…I was fucking her right against this wall.

"Say it baby," I growled, curling my fingers inside of her as far as I could before removing them completely. Nothing like a little withholding to get what you want.

"Fuck Edward," she whined desperately. _Fuck, yes. Say it. _"I want it in my pussy!"

_Holy mother of God._

I threw the closet door open with enough force to break it from its hinges as I hastily grabbed pillows with one hand and fucked my girl with the other. "You're gonna get it in your sweet little pussy," I whispered darkly, my fingers working frantically inside of her as I thrust us all the way to the bedroom.

We made our way inside and Bella stopped in her tracks. She was gasping and crying and thrashing against me, so I stilled my hand against her. "I'm so close, Edward. I'm too close," she begged erratically.

I threw the pillows down to the ground and spun her, crushing her against my body as I hugged her with all my might. I rocked her back and forth and kissed her nose, her eyelids, her cheeks. She was so fucking perfect. I've never wanted anything more than to make her feel good. Fuck my release, fuck my needs. Nothing mattered but her. She was what kept the world spinning, as far as I was concerned. My fingers slid down her sides and lifted her sweater slowly, my knuckles brushing her soft skin as I lifted it over her head. I guided her to the door and leaned her gently against it, soothing her swollen lips with mine and locking the door behind us. I ran my hand down the curvature of her spine, groaning at the pure artwork that was her body. I tucked my hands beneath her jeans and caressed the warm swell of her ass before pushing her jeans and panties down minutely with one pull. "Let me," I begged, my eyes intense and my voice cracking.

"I'm yours," she vowed breathlessly, pulling my body closer to hers.

There was so much I wanted to tell her in that moment. I wanted to praise her and worship her and fucking pray to the perfect grace that was the love of my life. One look in her endless eyes and I knew she felt the same as I did. We fucking owned each other and there had never been such a perfect partnership as this.

I slid the layers off of her slowly, falling to my knees and breathing in the scent of her wetness and drowning in the warmth radiating from her. It just meant so freaking much to me. I can't even explain.

She stepped out of her clothing, leaving her in just that lacy blue bra---fucking breathtaking. I ran my hands up and down her bare thighs and absorbed every inch of her skin into my permanent memory. I never wanted to forget this as long as I lived. I kissed each hipbone delicately, praising my girl's body and her fucking soul. "You are absolutely exquisite," I murmured, a broken whisper was all that managed to pass my lips. She was more perfect than I ever could have imagined. She was gasping shallowly, spread bare and trembling before me. My eyes poured over her in pure wonder and admiration.

I closed my eyes and sighed in utmost satisfaction before bringing my mouth to her center and placing a gentle kiss. I felt her burning juices begin to coat my lips. I had never tasted anything more perfect.

I looked up into her eyes and tried to convey with one look just how fucking enamored I was with her. Could she ever understand? She brushed a lock of hair away from my eyes and I couldn't wait a minute longer. I gently lifted one long, shapely leg and set it on my shoulder, kissing my way up her inner thigh and dragging my stubble-covered chin along her soft skin.

Her other leg was shaking viciously, and I didn't want my baby to have to worry about keeping herself vertical. I wanted her to relax and enjoy and just feel me. All I wanted was for her to _really_ feel me. I lifted her other leg and rested it on the other side of my head, my face buried in her heat and my mind drunk with lust and scent and power. _The fucking power_. Why was every single milestone in our lives so fucking consuming? The I love you's, the official moment she became mine, finally being able to make love…..it was all so much. It was everything I'd ever wanted, and it was just for us to experience. "I love you," I whispered ardently. I whimpered as my tongue connected to her hot flesh.

_My God. I had no idea it would be like this._

Of course this wasn't my first time going _downtown_, but she was sweet and salty and I wanted to lap at her walls until she had nothing left to give me. I drank her up, her hot arousal flowing down my throat and into my very core. I held her hips against me as tightly as I could, like a dying man desperate for a mere fucking drop of water. It wasn't enough, I needed more. All I wanted to do was indulge and feast and succumb to my girl's delectable flavor. I was completely intoxicated, quite rightly so. I spread her with my fingers and pushed my tongue as far inside of her as I could, stroking and loving and devouring her sensitive, wet skin. I wasn't even concentrating on my technique, just desperate to get another taste. Very suddenly, her entire body lifted away from the door as her pussy clenched securely around the tip of my tongue. She groaned and cried and moaned as she released wave after wave of her wetness inside my mouth. She pushed my face into her and I held her to me, arms around her hips and lips encompassing her entire swollen opening. I sucked it until I knew it would cause her a sensory overload, and even then, I had to fight like hell to pull away. I breathed deeply through my nose, trying to come back down from my euphoric daze. I looked up at my love and her eyes were clasped so tightly, as if she was trying to hang on to the last remnants of her climax. She didn't open them still, and I couldn't take it anymore. "Open your eyes, love," I pleaded, sliding her off of my shoulders and into my lap as I rocked her and held her and fucking adored her.

She opened her eyes slowly, tears streaming out once the deep brown met my electric green. I could have fucking cried again, and if there was one thing I craved, I wished I could understand why these intense emotions overpowered me every single time she was near. It was unbelievable. She ripped my shirt over my head and crushed her little body to mine, our hot skin sticking together delectably. She pleaded with me to give her more and I was all too happy to oblige. I popped the clasp of her bra and slid it between us before discarding it. My hands were lazy as I kneaded and worshipped the soft mounds that were new to me, but somehow familiar and _mine. _I sucked and pulled her nipples with my tongue, her body starting to writhe against me once more. She gasped, and I knew she felt my cock move against her on its own accord. I pushed my forehead against Bella's and clasped my eyes tightly as my hands roamed over her naked body. "Pillows," she groaned.

_Of course. What the fuck was I waiting for?_

I picked us up from the ground and grabbed the pillows, my eyes raking over her lazily as she stretched her bare muscles before me.

_Easy, Eduardo. We're almost there._

I climbed on the bed and began tucking the stupid pillows behind the headboard. It seemed rather ridiculous, but then again, I could really fucking let it all go if I had a sound barrier. I smiled deviously.

My smile turned into a gasp as I felt my girl's little hands grab me through my jeans. "Fuck, Bella," I groaned as she released the button and slid my zipper down. Her teeth dragged down my back while she undid my pants, and I thrust myself in her hand. She slid her fingers around my engorged shaft and gave me a few tight, quick strokes before pulling me out of my boxers. Fuck, it was good.

"Pillows," she whispered.

Pshh, you expect me to fucking function when your hot little hand is pumping my cock? Right.

I persevered, jamming the pillows in place before turning around and letting Bella have her way with me. I deep hum sounded in the back of my throat and I wanted her mouth on mine. My cock pushed against her tight stomach as our tongues swirled together outside of our mouths in wet, sloppy caresses. It was erotic as fuck and I grabbed her by the waist to get her closer. She told me to get the music and fucking take her. Take me, she pleaded.

_Don't mind if I do, baby._

In the most difficult act known to man, I pulled myself away from my sexy, writhing girlfriend and tried to get some music so _I_ could get some play. I groaned and dropped my head to my bicep as I felt her arms encircle me from behind once more. Her hard nipples dragged across my back and my dick reacted like a fucking geyser. My heart completely fucking ceased to beat the moment she slid to the front of me and got down on her knees.

_Dear Jesus, Please thank you and your father and every other powerful being up there for letting me have such a kick ass girl who eagerly wants to suck my dick without any suggestion, pleading, or manual labor. Sincerely, Edward Cullen._

I swallowed back a strangled cry as she kissed the dripping head of my cock. "There's a playlist entitled Edward," she murmured, working my dick with her fist like a fucking pro. "That's the one I want." Her fuck-me eyes met mine and I couldn't even form words. I fought with the God damn iPod, just trying to make it work fucking faster! I'm pretty sure I started begging or crying or fucking tantruming out because she started soothing me calmly. "It's okay, baby. I want this. I want you. Find the music."

And then she dragged her tongue down my entire length as the God damn choir emerged from her closet and started singing the most immaculate version of _Hallelujah_ I've ever heard.

Okay, that might not all be true. Don't judge me! I hadn't been blown in a hell of a long time. And I've _never_ been blown like this. _Fucking hell_…..

Just as I got the stupid iPod to work, her plump lips sucked the tip of my cock inside of her like a vice--it was my turn to thrash and cry out in ecstasy.

I lay my head on my forearm and just gazed down beneath me, watching her dark hair bob on my cock as it slid out of her pink lips, all wet and glistening in the soft light of the room. It was probably one of the hottest things I'd ever fucking seen. I fought like hell not to jam myself down her throat. I had to remind myself that this was my love, not some random fuck.

She reached her hand above her and grabbed mine, setting it on the back of her head. I groaned.

_Dear Jesus, I just wanted to say thank you……never mind, we aren't doing this again._

I started moving my hips against her as I pushed her mouth deeper on my cock. The second I hit the back of her throat, I knew we had to stop. Fuck if I was blowing my load like this. My cum was going to be buried deep inside of her, letting our fluids mix together just like they were meant to.

_Dear Jesus, I just wanted to thank you for creating birth control….No, Enough!_

I stilled her hot mouth and slowly slid out of her. I hissed as her teeth dragged softly against me when I pulled out. Part of me wondered if she was actually trying to kill me with her mad blowjob skills.

I fell to my knees and pulled my girl to my chest, pants around my thighs and cock practically at the point of no return. Christ, she was utter perfection. "I love you so much, Bella," I whispered, caressing the soft blush of her cheek.

She told me she loved me—twice—and I smiled crookedly at the way those words hung in the air and wrapped around my soul. I couldn't wait another minute to make her mine. "Let me show you baby," I whispered, ready for her to understand the depths to which I adored her. We wouldn't be making love…this _was _love, pure and fucking simple.

I held her hands as we walked to the bed, and I fought back my nerves. I knew I'd give it to her good, but this was a monumental fucking moment. I wanted everything to be just right for her.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and I stood in front of her as she discarded the rest of my clothes. Then it was just us—Edward and Bella—naked as we came and united as fucking ever. I crawled over her as she slid to the middle of the bed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I held her tightly and kissed her nose as I gave her a reassuring smile. _God, I want it Bella. It's nothing but good things from here on out, baby._

"Tell me what you need, Bella. Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you, love," I pleaded, needing her to feel comfortable and loved and fully ready to consummate our relationship. My girl just smiled and cupped my cheek, kissing my lips gently. "Look," she whispered. I tilted my head and looked down between us. It took my fucking breath away. Our naked bodies were pressed together, fitting like destiny and holding each other like they never left. This wasn't the first time we came together, this was a fucking reunion. Let the gathering commence.

"This," she said forcefully, warm palm on my chest and love in her eyes. "This is what I want."

"This is what you'll always have," I promised, trying like hell not to get all choked up.

I fucking meant it too.

I slid my hand between our bodies and caressed her slit, just as wet as ever. "You're so ready for me, baby," I breathed, my hot breath splaying across her face. She moaned and I furthered myself inside of her, my fingers circling and easing her wider open. I hoped my cock wouldn't hurt her…especially considering how fucking swollen she had me at that point.

"Please, Edward."

Out of anything, this was the one thing she never had to beg for. I let out a shaky breath as she gripped my cock and ran it up and down her drenched folds.

_Just say no to premature ejaculation, Cullen._

Nah, as much as I could have busted right there, I wouldn't be coming until I brought my baby to orgasm like a good fucking man does for his woman.

_This was it._

My fingertips ghosted down her arms until my hand surrounded hers. I smiled happily and kissed away her tears as we positioned myself at her entrance.

_Together_, we agreed.

We pulled our hands away and immediately tangled our fingers, squeezing and gripping our hands together tightly as I took that first, magnificent pump.

_And just like that, my life was complete._

I tried to hold still, allowing her to adjust to my girth and the feeling of being filled so entirely. My eyes never left hers as I thanked her silently. As far as I was concerned, it was a big fucking deal for a woman to let some dude put something inside of her body. I certainly didn't take this shit for granted for a second.

She squeezed my hips and nodded her head slightly, urging me to continue. I started with a nice and steady rhythm, reveling in the way she clenched around me and welcomed me home. My breathing was so fucking erratic, gasping and groaning as I pushed deeper and deeper inside my girl. "Are you okay, love?" I whispered, praying her answer would be yes.

She squeezed me tighter and kissed me lovingly. "I'm perfect. I love you."

_You certainly are._

The more we familiarized ourselves with our bodies, the more we needed. I was ready to fucking pummel her from the inside, to make her scream and cry and bounce on my cock. I wasn't even concerned about our volume. We had the sound of the storm and two sets of music playing. We were in the clear.

She shifted her hips higher, and I nearly fucking passed out from the whole new level of pleasure it gave me. I was balls God damn deep, and I picked up my pace…I just couldn't help myself. My eyes rolled in the back of my head as I listened to the soft slapping of our hot skin. "Ugh baby, keep doing that. You're so tight when you do that."

_God. So tight._

She clamped her teeth down on my neck, and I was lost in the heat of her pussy and the bounce of her tits as I fucked her. Yeah, Caveman Edward was back to rear his ugly head_._

"Tell me, Bella," I demanded in a dark voice. "Tell me what you want and I'll fucking give it to you."

"I want it harder," she whimpered.

My dick twitched violently inside of her. She was _so_ telling me that shit again.

"Say it again," I growled, sucking her nipple into my mouth and pulling away from her body, causing it to stretch away from her mound. She cried out and jerked against me irregularly as my hips began crashing into hers.

"Fuck me," she barely whispered, eyes clenched and teeth grinding. "Edward, please!" she yelled as I buried myself inside of her and held it; pushing and swiveling my cock inside her pussy and grinding my pelvic bone into her clit.

"Shhhhh," I soothed, thinking that one had the potential to wake up the boy. I was sort of proud of myself, I'm not gonna lie. I slid my hand over her mouth and fingered her lips. She fucking sucked them into her mouth again. Ugh. Our sex life was going to be all kinds of fucking win.

"You like that, don't you baby? Sucking on my fingers? Fuck, you make me feel so good, Bella," I groaned, picking up my pace and pounding her swollen pussy into oblivion. Our skin wasn't just clapping together anymore; it was a God damn standing ovation.

Bella's head started to thrash back and forth as a string of profanities escaped her lips. I smiled darkly, living for the tremble of that perfect body and the shiny layer of sweat that accented every beautiful bit of her skin. I slid my fingers out of her mouth and her eyes were downright feral. _Fuck yes._

"I love it. Come on, baby. Keep me quiet," she crooned, a whole new gleam of sin in her eyes.

_So much for being quiet._

I sought that hot tongue right out of her mouth and sucked it inside of mine, stroking it in time with every plunge of my hips. "Don't stop moaning for me baby. I want to feel it on my fucking tongue," I grunted loudly. Fuck, she was so delicious.

We moved unpredictably together, bed squeaking, headboard rattling, history being fucking made….it was just unreal.

Hands down best sex in the history of sex—yes, all of it.

I was getting really fucking close, and I knew it was time to bring it on home. With a grunt and a groan, I lifted her right off the bed and pulled her on top of me, slamming her down on my cock with each thrust of my hips.

"Edward, I can't come yet. I want more, please," she begged, squeezing my shoulders and slowing her pace.

I had to try to slow it down. This was all about her pleasure, after all. I sat back on the bed as she straddled me in my lap, the one position I had been dreaming about since the first night we rubbed one off together. It felt just like I knew it would—meant to be. She swiveled her hips on top of me, a juicy, sucking sound filling the air as our wetness combined together.

I lapped at her neck like a fucking incessant puppy, begging for my owner's attention—not too far off, as it turns out. "You look so fucking sexy on top of me, Bella," I moaned in an unrecognizable, higher pitched voice. "How do you feel, baby? Tell me how you feel."

"I feel _you_, Edward," she cried into my neck. "I can feel how much you love me. Oh my God, I just can't get enough of you."

And that's when I knew that she felt the same way I did, every fucking step of the way. We were completely together in this whole thing. It felt so fucking good to know for sure. It felt _so_ damn good that I was going to fucking explode if she didn't let me get her off soon. I confessed myself to her over and over, begging with her to understand how important she was to me.

"I love you," she panted.

Fuck.

"I love you," I whispered, my hand sliding between us and thumbing her throbbing clit. Christ, I was too close. Everything was blurry and amazing and it was getting so hard to fucking breathe. She started clenching around me and I knew we were both on the edge. "That's it baby, let me hear you. I need to hear you. Just come on me. Come all over me," I groaned deeply, lifting my hips eagerly off the bed and impaling her as hard and deep as I could.

We were both mumbling random words, but they just weren't registering. All that existed was the throbbing and wetness and sticky fucking hot bliss. Just a few more fucking pumps…..

"I'm so close," she mumbled incoherently, fingernails clawing at my back and teeth digging into my jaw.

"Let it go," I mouthed as my eyes tightened and my face twisted in pure fucking satisfaction. Her body slammed against me two more times before freezing, groaning and crying out as her orgasm rocked her against me. I was fucking done…three more quick thrusts and I was shooting my release inside of her over and over again. I moved inside of her shallowly, groaning each time her slick walls milked another stream of cum from my body. I came so fucking hard it almost hurt, the pleasure too strong, the love too overpowering; the combination was spectacular. A long "fuuuuuck" escaped my lips, followed by a constant guttural groan as I finally ceased my movements inside of her.

I didn't want to pull out of her though.

We held each other for awhile, just catching our breaths and enjoying the feeling of connecting our bodies in the most intimate way. I could have just stayed inside of her until she got me hard again, but I knew that was probably a bad idea.

I pulled out of her gently, brushing a sweat soaked strand of hair out of her eyes. Christ, her post-coital glow was downright astonishing. We flopped back on the bed, both of us seeming to catch up with our overactive thoughts.

She tried to explain what she felt, what it was, but I knew it was impossible. There weren't any words for this.

"I know, baby," I sighed, completely fucking satisfied. "I know."

We finally just curled up against each other and went about normal business. Confessing our love, giving each other shit, just basking in the general fucking merriment that was _us_. Every inch of my body was tingling and damn near numb as I kissed my girl softly and reveled in our fervent connection. My heart kept fucking expanding for her. It's like just when I thought I couldn't love her more…it stretched and shifted to accommodate my girl. Eventually, I'd either explode or I'd be the happiest mother fucker in the world, but no matter what…she was mine. I felt it in every move we made and every contented breath we took. Her fingers through my hair, my eyes shining into hers, the tears our lovemaking caused her, the gentle circles I traced along her spine. It was a fucking beautiful and tender moment. Until she started rubbing up on me again. Christ, talk about recovery time. I don't think I was this ready and raring to go even when I was a teenager. I rolled on top of her and started teasing her swollen mouth once more, her hips thrusting up into mine and making the numb feeling in my groin mix in with a bolt of pure fucking pleasure.

Then we heard this distant noise.

I laughed. "Way to go, you woke up the kid," I teased, pressing my forehead against hers.

She just giggled and blamed it on me. Hell yeah, I'd take the blame for making her scream out in gratification. Hell, bring on the blame.

We held our bodies still and perked our ears, listening for another sign that Masen was awake.

Nothing.

I could have jumped on the bed and done the fucking sprinkler.

But then one distant, horrid sound caused all the blood to leave my face and my stomach to coil in utter fucking anguish.

I knew that sick, twisted voice anywhere. It was calling my name and breaking my girl in the process. My heart shattered in a million pieces at the sight of Bella giving that bitch the upper hand. "Not now, not now, not now," she cried. Well, my love had a good fucking point.

Why did _she_ have to contaminate and infect our one perfect moment? Fuck that, I'd never let her sad desperation ruin the best night of my life—of our lives.

I looked down to Bella as the tears poured out of her eyes. She was trembling again, but for a very different reason. All I could do was hold her as tight as possible and reassure her that the fucking psycho bitch could never take what we had. She couldn't steal away this night, our happiness, or any other fucking thing that belonged to us.

_It was ours._

_She was mine, I was hers._

It wasn't even anything. Let her scream, let her cry. We'll turn the fucking radio up and go right along with the rest of our night.

The crash of broken glass pierced the silence, and I knew this wasn't just a scorned ex-girlfriend. This was a dreadfully sick person, and she brought my nephew and my love right into the middle of it.

I jumped out of bed and threw on my clothes with an ache in my heart and complete and utter rage inhabiting my very core.

_I was out for fucking blood._

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**Whew. He's a hot one, that Edward Cullen.**

**One more epov and we're back to the main story. Don't panic, everyone. Just enjoy our boy's point of view and know that I have nothing but good intentions.**

**Drop me a line if you enjoyed The Big Bang--as Isabel would call it! Review! :D**


	12. Love and Loss

**The third epov commences....I'm updating the main story after this. Yaaaaay!**

**And also, you guys are totally going to love me, because this chapter goes a little bit farther than where we left off in SADT.**

**Thanks to Isabel (love you hard woman!)**

**SM owns the world.**

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Somehow I always knew in the back of my mind it would come down to this. A dramatic showdown to the finish. A sick game of who can hurt who with the most spiteful words and angry glares. How was I supposed to know that a shattered window and an unstable person would succeed in breaking down my love?

And out of all the people in this world, I never expected it to be my girl who ripped _my_ heart in two.

_I am the whore, Edward._

It fucking made me sick to hear those words fall from her lips. It burned me, it tore me, it fucking demolished me.

It caused me to lash out in a fit of desperation. I confronted the one who did this to us in the first place, pleading with her to stop and leave us alone. I had never been more emotionally on the edge. I came so close to completely losing my shit in that moment…until Bella pulled me back to her and grounded me once more.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I'm okay, I just freaked out for a minute, but we're all right. It's okay," she cried, grabbing my face and kissing me like she'd never get another chance.

_Maybe on some level she already knew._

I started speaking so quickly that even I didn't understand myself. I think the general consensus was 'Bella, you're my fucking life and don't you ever say that shit again.' All I wanted was to keep her lips on my skin and her body against mine, regardless of who was there to witness it. I felt like I was in the fucking Twilight zone, and I had to remind myself to breath in and out. Because here I was, standing in the wind and the rain while my mentally unstable ex-girlfriend looked on in a fit of jealousy…but all I could do was consume myself with Bella and pull her just a little bit closer.

Because nothing else mattered to me any longer.

I don't know what came over me. When her big brown, tear-filled eyes pierced mine, I knew that this person in front of me literally was the other half of me. Fucking literally. Do you know how big of an epiphany that is? God, I positively fucking ached for this girl, and she was pressed as tightly to me as humanly possible. So fuck Tanya, or anyone else. Nothing would take this moment from me. _Nothing could touch us._

When her gaze broke from mine, I instantly felt something horrible coming our way.

My heart screamed in a panic. "Don't leave, don't break away." Horror flashed in her eyes as she bolted from my grip and screamed at the other one in our yard. Without even thinking, I grabbed Bella around the waist and swung her behind me before rushing to the crazy girl with the shiny knife in her hand. What in the hell was she trying to prove?

I maintained about a foot of distance as she held the tip of the blade against her wrist. "Don't do this," I whispered.

"Do you love me?" she pleaded, eyes red and hands shaking.

"I won't lie to you, Tanya," I murmured, holding my hand out for the weapon. She pressed it into her flesh. I dove.

We struggled for several seconds, and I was surprised at the strength at which she resisted. "Let the fuck go!" I grunted, finally feeling like I had the upper hand in the battle.

That was until I felt the sharp and sudden pain in my lower abdomen. My eyes widened and connected with the wrong pair looking back at me. I wanted warm brown, not cold blue.

She pulled the knife out of my body and I winced as the cold air stung my wound even further. I didn't take my eyes away from hers, still trying to silently ask her '_why_?'

"I didn't….mean…to….."

_But you did…_

I swirled around, needing Bella worse than air or blood or fucking _life_. I fell to the ground and cried out silently as I heard my baby's deafening scream.

_Don't do this to her_, I begged a higher power, if there was one. I wasn't entirely convinced anymore.

I felt Bella collapse next to me on the wet, hard ground. I wanted to pull her on top of me, because I needed her as close to me as possible. I was afraid to take my hand away from my stomach. It would upset her further if she saw the damage.

I felt a deep ache and warm liquid coating my fingers, but it didn't feel like anything that could really threaten my existence. I sure as hell couldn't feel my legs though. But none of that mattered. Only _she_ mattered.

"It's okay, baby," I breathed, struggling to keep my voice even. "I love you, Bella. It's okay."

A bright light started showing up behind my beautiful girl, and it was pretty fucking magnificent.

No, it wasn't _the_ light. It was more like a hundred twinkly lights shining behind Bella and bringing her loveliness to this whole new amazing level. Maybe it was there, but maybe it wasn't…I couldn't really be sure anymore. My eyes raked over my baby's shaking form. She was so scared, and I fucking hated Tanya even more for hurting her by hurting me.

I felt her warm hand cover mine and she groaned in agony as my blood covered her fingers. Stupid fucking blood.

She kissed me softly and I hummed in contentment. Even in my pain, every time was like the first time, and it just kept getting better and better. Her lips froze against mine and I felt an evil presence looming above us. Then my girl lost her shit, and I prayed like hell I could drag myself up off the ground and toss Tanya on her ass good and proper. I've never wanted to physically harm a female, but at this point, I was quite willing.

Bella screamed for her to get the fuck away and my lips curled. _You tell her, baby. _One look in her eyes completely wiped that smile off of my face. Her torment hurt me worse than a thousand fucking knives to the gut. My girl started getting fuzzy, on and off, and I fought with my eyes to stay the fuck in focus. I winced as I shifted to get Bella closer. I needed to show her I was okay. She begged me to talk. To tell her anything, everything. I pretty much put myself out there and hoped she'd like what she heard. I explained how I thought we could get married in her meadow—_our meadow_—she corrected. Ever since we spent the afternoon laughing and loving in that quaint field of wildflowers…I knew it had definite possibility for us. I told her about the bronze haired little girl we'd have. _I smiled at the fantasy I'd had when we were in the hotel room. Bella combing through her long wet hair as a chubby little angel ran up to her and hugged her leg._ I had no doubt now that this would come to pass, one day. As long as _the bitch_ didn't succeed in killing me, that is.

_No. Fuck dying. _

Not that I thought I was hot shit (well maybe a little) but I was pretty sure my girl wouldn't recover if I did. I knew for a fact if someone took her away from me, I'd be following moments later. I was rather confident that level of devotion was a two-way street. I had to stay here for her. I would fight my fucking ass off, if that's what I had to do.

She begged me over and over again. _Please, please, please_. I closed my eyes and smiled as I felt her warm tears shower my face.

She looked so small and defeated as her forehead pressed against mine. Why wouldn't she have faith in me? I'd survive a stab to the fucking brain if it meant I'd get to stay with her. "We'll be okay, baby. I love you. Tonight was the best night of my life, Bella."

She rolled her eyes at me and scoffed, which was preposterous. Jesus, didn't she understand the fucking life-altering miracle that was our love making? I _am_ turning into a chick. Emmett is so fucking right.

Ugh, our amazing sex. Don't even get me started. I could talk all fucking day about the swell of her breasts or the tight walls of her…..holy shit. I may have been the first dying man in history to get a boner. I thought about telling her that one to lighten the mood, but somehow the words _dying man_ probably wouldn't go over well.

"Bella, look at me. Tonight has been the best night of my life, because we made love to each other. And it was perfect, and it was everything, and it's ours." She needed to know how important it was to me. How important _she _was to me. "I'll love you forever, baby. I already promised you that."

She attacked my mouth with hers, pulling my lips and grasping my face in a desperate attempt to hold on. Where did she think I was going? I took my un-bloodied hand and caressed the soft skin of her cheek, just so God damn happy that she was with me and she was mine. I wished she wasn't so sad. I hated to be all "Mercutio" but it literally felt like just a fucking scratch to me. The cops had to be arriving soon (where the fuck were they anyway?) and they would send my ass to get stitched up…end of story. Edward and Bella would live happily ever after.

I needed to hear it from her lips. "Tell me," I begged, memorizing the cute turn of her little nose and the small scar on her bottom lip.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. I love you, I love you, I love you."

I groaned in pure relief. Nothing had ever sounded so sweet or felt so right.

She became hysterical rather abruptly, begging and pleading for me erratically. I assured her I wasn't leaving her, confused as to what the fuck had her so worked up all of a sudden.

My breath caught in my throat and my abdomen burned in agony when I felt my girl's warm body ripped away from mine. Were they actually _trying_ to fucking kill me? Clearly they were Team Tanya. _Dirty bastards_.

I felt the tears escape my eyes as my girl kicked and screamed in the attempt to be near me again. I was so fucking pissed. I made it known to the person checking my vitals above me. "Let her come back," I whispered viciously. "She's fucking upset, give her back to me, please."

"Calm down," this toddler boy soothed. How old did you have to be to enter the police academy, fucking twelve? "What's your name?"

I tried to sit up but it hurt so fucking bad that blinding lights formed behind my eyelids. "My name is Edward, and the girl you're bringing over here _right fucking now _is Bella."

He chuckled, and it infuriated me. "Hey, Edward. I'm Jason. We'll get your girl back in a minute. I just need to check you over, have to make sure everything's copasetic, alright?"

I squeezed my eyes together tightly and listened in torture as my girl begged for me. I couldn't do a God damn thing about it. Every cry that escaped her lips broke another chunk away from my resolve. And then suddenly, nothing. No sound. I tried to sit up again, but holy fuck, it really did hurt.

I turned my head to the side just in time to see some big guy pulling Bella off of the _she-devil_. I chuckled, and it hurt, but it was an honest to goodness fucking laugh. Jesus, my baby was all kinds of awesome. I heard another set of sirens before hands started pulling at my shirt. I was beginning to feel pretty damn tired. I mean, it was a mere half an hour ago since my girl worked me out quite thoroughly. I should have been laying her down right now, or at least making a bologna sandwich and passing the fuck out. But of course we were cockblocked. Again. At least we got _one_ good romp in. _So fucking good_. I closed my eyes once more, ready to just give in to the nagging feeling of exhaustion. I fought against it, just to be able to give Bella a kiss goodnight. We could both go crash and when we awoke, pick up right where we left off. "Bella," I called. Christ, I didn't even sound like myself. My voice was nothing more than a haggard croak.

Just like that she was at my side, and the warm relief washed through my body and numbed the sharp pain in my stomach. I knew those fuckers should have just let her be. My girl felt so much better than any happy pills they could prescribe. She kissed my forehead and my aching stomach twisted in pride. "Did you kick her ass for me baby?" I whispered.

Finally, she fucking smiled and nodded her head. That smile had been the one thing I was waiting for. That, and my goodnight kiss. She tried to kiss me, but she was shaking so God damn violently. I hated this shit. I couldn't even comfort my girl properly because of my stupid trauma. Fuck my life. I knew I had to sleep now, there was no putting it off. I wanted her to stay with me just a moment longer though, since I _am _a greedy bastard. "Stay with me," I pleaded quietly. "Stay with me, Bella."

I smiled once more as the word forever floated from her mouth and directly into my heart. Regardless of the turn of events, my life was the shit, thanks to her. My eyes fluttered shut and it felt so fucking wonderful to close them. Sleep overtook me as I tried to convince myself that those weren't Bella's screams haunting my subconscious.

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Dude, can't a guy get a bit of fucking shut eye?

The lights were bright and people were all poking and prodding me. The last time I checked I wasn't fucking cattle. I squinted, lifting my head up to take a good look around. The air felt empty, so I knew Bella wasn't with me.

"Lay back, buddy," the EMT instructed. "We didn't know Big C was your dad. We would've come sooner."

_Jeez, I hope that was a joke._

Even though I felt like shit because I didn't have Bella next to me, I was pretty relieved that they were bringing me to my dad. He was a great fucking doctor. At this rate, I'd get to go home tonight and start round two with Bella. She'd probably have to be on top and I'd have to keep my thrusts to a minimum, but we could definitely make it happen. As much as I wanted to ponder the logistics of that situation, I was still tired as fuck. I even let out a subconscious groan from my level of exhaustion.

"We're almost there, Edward," the wrong woman's voice said. _My_ woman was at home with Masen. _Shit, Masen_.

I didn't have the strength to worry about it…just the urge to sleep. I allowed myself the indulgence.

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I was woken up again, rather rudely, by a bunch of voices and the never ending bright lights.

"Blood pressure's falling."

"Hemodynamically unstable."

"Immediate laparotomy."

Christ, maybe medical school wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all. At least I'd know what the hell was going on with me.

Finally a familiar blonde head of hear came into my peripheral. "Dad," I whispered.

He pushed the hair out of my face and smiled down at me. "You'll be just fine, son. You need surgery though."

_Just fine my ass_. My dad was scared shitless, I could see it in his eyes. He was never scared shitless. Bella. Fuck, I needed Bella. "Where is she?" I croaked, my head starting to pound from the incessant light as people violated me with various medical tools.

"She's on her way, Edward. Your brother has her," he said sympathetically. "We need to get you prepped, son. You'll see her when you're out of surgery."

I clenched my fists and heard myself verbally wince. I needed to see her face once more, if nothing else, for motivation to pull through this shit.

The severity of the situation suddenly came crashing down around me, and my heart began pounding out of my chest. This seemed to get their attention.

My dad grabbed my hand and spoke urgently in my ear. "Edward, calm down. We'll get her, okay? Just settle down. We'll get her."

I closed my eyes tightly and tried not to freak the fuck out. My stomach burned. This world was a cruel fucking place if Bella and I were separated after everything we've been through. Cruel and fucking sick and wrong. My mind began racing along with my overeager heart.

It was so fucking unlikely that anyone would stick around after the shit I'd asked of her_. Wait for me, Bella. Wait even longer than that, Bella. Touch me, but don't cheat, Bella. Love me, but don't make me yours, Bella._ I suddenly felt very fucking deserving of my current condition. Maybe it would be better for her if I just disappeared. She could find a man who would take her and love her like she deserved, without putting her through bullshit. I tipped my head to the side and began puking my guts out as the sobs wracked my body and tore at my inflamed laceration. Everything was so God damn fuzzy. All I wanted to do was think straight for one fucking minute. I grunted loudly in frustration. Nothing could ever fucking go right for me!

I just lay there and bawled like a fucking baby as they stripped me of my clothes and dressed me in a gown. They lifted me to another gurney while I cried my girl's name over and over again. I couldn't go back and fix my wrongdoings, but I sure as hell could make the future everything she'd ever wanted. Even if this was my dying wish and I had to do it from the other side, I'd do everything in my power to make her so fucking blissfully happy for the rest of her days. She deserved that, and so much more.

Everyone kept telling me to calm down. They even gave me an oxygen mask, which managed to placate me somewhat. There was only one thing in the world that would ease my hysteria, and it had big brown eyes and a selfless fucking heart. As the clock ticked on and my fate seemed drearier still, I heard a soft voice that turned it all around.

"Carlisle."

Christ, she sounded as broken as I was. I squirmed in my gurney, anxious to feel her before I went under _another _knife.

I heard my dad talking to her in a soft and urgent voice, while I silently begged him to hurry the fuck up.

Her delicious scent--mixed in with rain and my brother's cologne—washed over me refreshingly. She linked her fingers with mine and I felt the warm and comforting effects of home wash over my body.

"I'm here, baby," she whispered.

_Yes you are._

I started talking as frantically as I could manage, although I'm sure it sounded pretty pathetic. I couldn't stop the strangled sob from escaping my lips as the tears burned down the side of my eyes and past my temples. "Bella, I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, baby. Please believe me. I'm so fucking lucky to have you, and I won't leave you. I won't, Bella. I love you."

She shushed me, running her fingers through my hair and pressing her soft lips against my forehead. "It's okay, Edward. Don't apologize. We're moving forward, baby. No more apologies, just the future. Our future."

I nodded and let out a deep sigh as she brushed away the tears that were leaking down the side of my face. "I love you," she breathed, her hot tears falling on my skin and mixing in with my own. I'd carry them with me into that operating room until I could be with her again.

Our hands were tremoring together so violently as we held on for dear life.

We told each other we loved each other over and over again. I felt them start to wheel me away and looked up to see my dad's hands on my love's shoulders. She kissed me once more as an anguished sob broke from her lips. "I love you, Bella. I'll be okay," I promised. It had to be true.

"I know you will, baby. I know. I love you so much."

I closed my eyes tightly as they took me away, running my fingers over my face and capturing her tears that had fallen. I touched them and rubbed them into my skin, asking God to let me have more time with the girl who caused my life to finally have some fucking meaning.

I didn't open my eyes again, too scared to face the harsh realities of that dingy operating room. I vowed not to open them again until I could have a pair of deep brown staring back at me.

I drifted into sub consciousness with hope in my heart and those big brown eyes assaulting my every memory.

_God, please bring me back to her._

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**Aw....**

**Hang in their guys, I'll updating soon and we'll find out our boy's fate. In the meantime, leave me some love, I did bring you up to the surgery at least.**

**That's gotta count for something. :D**

**Love, love, love!!**


	13. Six Weeks

**Hey ladies. I'm sooooo damn sick. But I love you all, so here's some EPOV.**

**Special thanks to my lifesaver Isabel. She knows exactly what each chapter is missing. I swear this little tale would be nothing without her. Love ya!!**

**Thanks to my "dirty nurse" VvDeadRosesvV. She may call me her muse, but she is the very definition of the word. I don't know what I'd do without ya woman! Bitey loves you!! **

**I don't own twilight, but I'm pretty high on nyquil right now. Yup.**

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I must have been out of my fucking mind to tell her to leave me. My eyes followed her around the room as she slung her purse over her shoulder. She walked over to the table next to my bed and threw her cell phone into her bag.

She kissed me and I strained to get closer to her. It hurt like a fucking bitch.

She walked over to the recliner and grabbed my brother's sweatshirt, throwing it over her arm. Her sad eyes met mine, and she exhaled sharply.

_I know baby._

I held my hand out to her and she walked to me slowly, twining her little fingers with mine and staring at me like it may be the last time. "I love you," I whispered, my voice cracking.

My chest felt so heavy, it was as if she was leaving her anxiety here for me to bear the burden. I'd happily take it. One more kiss. My fingers drifted along her wrist, up her forearm and to her shoulder before sliding down around her waist and squeezing, holding…._keeping_.

I'm the one who told her to go, and fuck, it was the right thing to do.

She backed away from me slowly, bottom lip trembling but her big brown eyes were determined. She was trying to be strong for me and I just wanted to wrap her up in my embrace. I wanted to take care of her. I could already feel the splintering of my heart with each hesitant step she took. I wonder if she has any fucking clue how dependent I am on her.

I don't think it's supposed to be like this…so damn desperate and consuming.

She walked backwards, eyes never breaking from mine as she bumped into the cart next to the door. I smiled, my eyes dancing, trying to show her how fucking much I pined for her. "Be careful, love," I whispered, fighting the urge to tell her to fuck all this and just stay. Always stay. Everything is so much clearer once it's almost taken away.

"I love you, Edward," she said in a soft and broken voice. I clasped my eyes tightly and swallowed the lump in my throat as I heard the door close with a gentle click. I couldn't watch her go, because she wasn't the only one who was irrationally afraid. I never wanted her out of my sight again.

I sighed. So…now what?

I turned on the T.V. and watched the slap chop guy for ten minutes before shutting it off.

Didn't that guy get his tongue bit off by a hooker or some shit?

I groaned as I shifted in the rock hard bed, pulling the pillow to my face and breathing in Bella. Fifteen minutes in, and I wasn't doing well.

"Wow, Eddie. Bella leaves for a few hours and you're already making out with your pillow?"

I lifted my head slowly to make eye contact with my brother. "Fuck off, Emmett. And don't call me Eddie. I'll take Doucheward over Eddie."

He managed to creep into my room silently while I was inhaling the remnants of Bella. Sneaky bastard. Emmett chuckled and plopped down in the chair next to my bed. "Did B take my sweatshirt home?"

I nodded and he smiled arrogantly. "Better watch out man. One day she's wearing my clothes, the next she wants a little Em-action."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I doubt that. So, did you just come here to be a dick or did you want to take a stab at me too? I don't have a knife or anything, but I do have a spork. I hear they can do some major fucking damage."

I expected a snarky comment or a crude hand gesture, but he offered me nothing, he just stared down at the floor. "Em I was kidding, Christ," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

He finally looked up, and the expression on his face was fucking shocking. His eyes were watery. My brother—what the fuck? "Well I don't particularly think that shit is funny, Edward." His voice was low and raspy. He called me _Edward_.

Seriously, what gives?

"What's up with you? One minute you're accusing me of sexing up my pillow, the next you're all melancholy. What's the deal?"

He rubbed his eyes harshly before linking his fingers behind his head. "It's been a long couple of days, man. You almost fucking died. I had to peel Bella up off of her fucking driveway while she screamed for you…" he broke off, his voice giving out as he shook his head. My eyes burned once he mentioned Bella and screaming. After a long silence, Emmett continued. "Look, Bro, I know I'm an asshole to you most of the time, and I'm not trying to go all sissy-britches here. But I was scared out of my fucking mind when that cop called me Friday night. Fucking terrified, Edward."

I had no idea what to say. My brother and I never really talked about emotions and shit like this. There was one aspect of his admissions that wouldn't relent. "Was she bad, Emmett? When you got there?" My voice was barely a whisper. I already knew the answer, because I know what I would have been like if they took her away from me like that. I literally would have lost my mind.

Emmett exhaled deeply and looked at me quickly before averting his eyes. "You sure you wanna hear this?"

I nodded. I needed to know.

"Well, when I got there she was…well she was puking her guts out honestly. Tanya was getting into the ambulance, and all I saw was Bella lying on the ground and you were nowhere. So I flipped out. I screamed at Tanya, asking her what the fuck she did to my family. She looked at me all empty and shit and said she didn't know. I was ready to lose my shit when she told me that, but Rose took my hand and reminded me what was important. We went to Bella and I scooped her up off the ground. She was shivering and crying and fuck….she looked like she had lost everything in the world, dude. If there's one thing I can tell you, that girl fucking loves you like mad."

My heart was thundering in my chest. My sweaty palms were gripping the itchy sheets of the bed. My eyes were filled with tears that I urged not to fall, not now. _God, I wanted her here with me_. I needed her to come back.

"Anyway, Rose stayed with Mase and I took Bella to the hospital. She didn't stop shivering, even though the heat was blasting and I was hotter than fuck. Her teeth were chattering and she just kept saying you weren't dead. Over and over she said it. I had no idea what to do, how to comfort her or make her alright. I felt so God damn helpless, which you know is really fucking frustrating for me. I mean, whatever. It's in the past and everything's cool, it's just…maybe I don't tell you enough that you're a kick ass little brother."

I sniffed and kept my eyes to my lap, holding out my fist for Emmett. He chuckled and tapped it before muttering 'fuck that'. He stood up and wrapped one arm around my shoulder, giving me a half man-hug and squeezing hard enough to make me wince. My voice was wavering all over the place and my eyes burned into his as I spoke. "I can't even fucking begin to thank you for taking care of Bella for me when I wasn't able to. I can never make that shit up to you, man. Thank you so much." It killed me to hear how broken my girl was, but it would have been a million times worse if Emmett wasn't there to catch her. It meant more to me than I could ever fucking express to him.

I could tell all the sentiment was starting to get to him, because he was acting all fidgety. "Nah, it's cool," he said softly before standing up and laughing awkwardly. "Now, just because I had a momentarily lapse of estrogen doesn't mean I'm gonna let you kiss me. You're gonna have to stick to your pillow-girlfriend there, Doucheward."

I laughed loudly, shaking my head. My family was all sorts of fucked up, and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

"Well, I gotta get back to the little lady," Emmett said, bumping my fist once more and walking to the doorway. "I'll stop by sometime tomorrow, cool?"

"Yeah, that's cool. And hey…." I drifted off as he turned back towards me. "Thanks again. I mean it, Emmett."

He nodded and walked out the door, a serene expression on his face. Well that was certainly a new interaction between us. Nothing like a life threatening situation to bring emotions out of my tough-guy brother.

I was going to get whiplash from my mood swings if this shit kept up. Everything had been so up and down since the moment I woke up yesterday. One minute I was having this fuckhot dream about Bella and me…or _Ms. Swan_ as I was required to call her. I was a bad boy and she had a ruler…fucking hell, just reminiscing about it got me hard. And then all of a sudden my sister's gangster talk was ringing loudly in my head. I was about to tell her to fuck off because I had a date with a naughty teacher and a metal ruler, but then I breathed in the cool air around me. I felt Bella next to me, and I was so fucking ecstatic to realize I was awake that I just had to rip on my sister, since it was something I really liked to do. My eyes opened and everything was fuzzy. My head was pounding and my gut was throbbing, but I was pretty much the happiest mother fucker on the face of the planet, because the crazy ass didn't kill me and I had Bella right next to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, my lips reluctant to leave her hand or cheek for fear that she'd evaporate right in front of me. She wasn't a hallucination, although she certainly was a vision. It hasn't been easy for me to be away from her. Case in point, right fucking now.

My mind started running with itself right about the time Jake was telling me stories of Bella in her college days. I laughed earnestly, even though it hurt like hell. I could just see my girl all shitfaced, ready to dive off a pool table. _Christ, I loved her_. But then all I could think about was random memories from _my _college days. My roommate Tyler and I did some dumb shit back in the day. We'd get hammered and have ice cube tray races with the girls across the hall. The cube holes were filled with tequila, and we each took a side and a straw. The first one to the end wins. I dominated that fucking game. We used to take Flaming Jesus shots off of our toilet seat. We'd steal lawn gnomes and rearrange holiday decorations into sexual positions. We used to race the motorized shopping carts around Wal-Mart at four in the morning. Tyler was my best friend, and I hadn't seen him in a year. With all the Tanya bullshit and my damn near obsession with Bella, we hadn't even talked in months. Then I started thinking about Bella—didn't she have friends besides me, Jake and my siblings? Who was _she_ neglecting in her need for me?

I'd never stop wanting her like I do, but we needed to find a happy medium. She told me she'd choose me over her fucking _father_. I mean yeah, I'd choose her over anyone in this fucking world, but it was just a huge declaration. And we had to get this shit squared away, because I had some major plans once I was sprung from this place. Life-altering, eternity type plans. I knew she was just as ready as I was, and that in itself was fucking crazy. I'd met her like six weeks ago. _Six weeks_. I wanted her to carry my baby in her belly and wear my fucking ring. Tomorrow if it were possible.

_Six weeks._

I was broken from my monumental thoughts as the nurse that Bella wanted to shank walked through my door. I smirked…that shit was just too funny. She winked at me and I nodded my head in acknowledgement. If I wasn't spoken for, I might have hit on her, but my ship was so far fucking sailed that it was well past the point of no return.

"How you feelin', tiger?" she asked, placing her hand on my forehead like she was checking my temperature. She ruffled my hair and pulled away, waiting for my response.

"Okay I guess."

I wasn't much of a conversationalist when my gut was burning and I was missing my girl like the fucking air I breathed. My dad walked in and rolled his eyes at me.

"What?" I laughed.

"Nothing. Where's Bella? Did she go home?"

I sighed. "Yeah, she did."

"Good, she needs her rest," he said pointedly, looking at me over his reading glasses.

_Yeah, I get it._

"So are you ready to get that I.V. out, son?" he asked, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Ugh, fucking yes," I groaned, anxious to be unhooked from all these contraptions.

"It's going to feel a lot more comfortable once the needle is out of your hand," Melissa chimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "And if you're good, you'll get a sponge bath afterwards."

I chuckled nervously, running my hand through my hair. "Uh…yeah I'm good. Thanks though."

My dad laughed silently as he looked up at me. "Edward, you do need to get washed up, we need to keep your incisions clean, and it's been a couple days. Do you really want to be the smelliest patient in the hospital?"

He removed the needle from my hand and held a gauze pad over it. I tried to flex my fist experimentally, and couldn't even do it. "Dad, I was just watching an infomercial for the slap-chop, and I'm pretty damn sure Bella will be taking one of those to my balls if I let Ms. Melissa here touch me with a sponge."

My dad chuckled. "Melissa is nothing but professional, isn't that right?"

"Oh absolutely," she purred. "I'm _very _good at what I do."

Wow…insinuate much?

Christ, what if I got hard while she was rubbing me down with warm, soapy water? I mean, I guess she was pretty hot, and just because I'm completely owned by Bella doesn't mean I don't let Eduardo make _some_ decisions….

No. No sponge bath from the hot nurse.

"After I sleep for awhile, alright? I'm wiped," I yawned, stretching my arms and groaning at the pain for sympathy's sake.

"But my shift is over in an hour. Better be a cat nap, tiger," she winked.

Sleep for at least an hour. Got it.

I took a few sips of water and nearly the second they left my room, I was out like a light.

*********************

The room was significantly darker when I woke, and I just didn't want to be conscious. At all. I was in some major fucking pain, I was tired as hell and I didn't wanna play this game anymore. I missed Bella and I was a crank ass, damn it. Not to mention I woke up with fucking Tanya on the brain.

I know, right?

My feelings on that shit were all over the radar. I felt guilty and responsible for pushing her over the edge. I still had a huge amount of rage—it was all aimed at her. I was relieved she'd be in a psych hospital. I was sad…for everyone. I just wanted it to be over with, and I felt like it never would be. The talk with the boy-cop wonder wasn't that big of a deal to me. I was more worried about Bella than anything…and my girl was fucking amazing through that shit. When Kate walked through my door earlier today, I could have fucking rung her neck. Asking favors…are you fucking kidding me? Bella brought out my compassionate side, making me realize that it's better to do the right thing, even if it's really tempting not to. Now I had to hang around and wonder whether some prosecutor was going to come in and speak to me about the whole ordeal. I didn't know how I was going to handle pleading her case, but I had already agreed to it. It was definitely the right way to go, since it's what my girl wanted. She was a way better person than I would ever be.

My door opened a crack and I was thankful for the distraction, even though I was completely fucked if it was Melissa and her sponge of sin.

A large woman barreled through the door. "Hey there! You're gonna pee, you're gonna walk, you're gonna get cleaned up because you look like you were found on the side of the road, and then you're going to eat something."

_Um…yes drill sergeant?_

I groaned at the thought of standing, because it fucking hurt and took more effort than I was willing to give at the moment. The older woman with the kind eyes gave me the once over. "Honey I just talked to your daddy. The sooner you walk and eat, the better the chances are of you going home tomorrow. Don't you want to go home?"

Nope. I wanted Bella's home.

_Six weeks_.

I powered the fuck through. I hobbled to the bathroom and pissed, suppressing my pain because I needed to come home to my baby as soon as fucking possible. The nurse, whose name I learned was Ethel, gave me a thorough sponging. I didn't get hard, but I _was_ worried that Eduardo was ready to quit this bitch and crawl back inside my body. We had a long heart to heart after my bath. I ate some soup and some pudding…it tasted like shit and made my insides go haywire, but maybe I could leave tomorrow if I dealt with it.

I thought about Bella and the conversation I felt necessary to have with her. I didn't have my thoughts organized, but basically it was going to go like this. "Baby, I'm so fucking absorbed with you that I don't talk to half the people I used to, and I'm sure you don't either. We've got a month of no sex…let's make the most of it by reaching the fuck out and balancing our love with the other aspects of our lives."

And let's go on dates together.

And let's move in together.

And have sex. A lot. Gently for the first four to six weeks.

And get married.

And make babies.

I may be getting ahead of myself here.

_Jesus._ At least a month with no sex. Now that I got a taste, I was downright desperate for it. Yeah, that was a rule I would more than likely be breaking. If you couldn't tell by now, I just can't help myself when it comes to that girl.

I picked up the phone and dialed her number, really needing to hear her soft voice say my name. She answered breathlessly and my smile widened and my heart clenched as I told her about Ethel. She pretended to be all pissed off, which was almost too cute for fucking words. After we were done playing around, she asked me how I was feeling, and I was honest with her. "I'm feeling pretty good. They took my I.V. out a couple hours ago, and I just ate a little something. My stomach is all twisting and shit, but I guess that's to be expected," I yawned loudly, obviously still tired as fuck. "What about you?"

"I'm okay. Just took a nap, no panic attacks or anything."

Ugh, sweet fucking relief. My dad thought we should get counseling. Another one of the many issues that Bella and I needed to discuss. "That's great, Bella. Maybe it will ease up now that everything is essentially behind us."

"Or maybe it was because my bed still smells like you," she purred in a voice that made my heart throb, along with several other body parts. I could just imagine the way her sheets smelled. Thick with the scent of us, comforting, familiar, _home_. I never wanted to go back to my apartment again…would that freak her out?

"You have no fucking idea how much I'd rather be in your bed opposed to this rock hard monstrosity. My dad told me not to get my hopes up, but they may release me tomorrow afternoon or the next morning. I'm trying to be on my best behavior so they spring me tomorrow. It's like fucking jail or something," I chuckled, even though it wasn't far from the truth. Honestly, it probably would be in my best interest to stick around one more day to be safe. I just didn't want to. My heart started beating heavily as her unsure voice sounded quietly on the other end of the line.

"Will you come here?"

Christ Bella, I'll never fucking leave. Did she want me there? How long? Did she just want to take care of me for a few days and send me on my way? It would make sense for us to live together in her house opposed to my place. She owned her home and it was a hell of a lot nicer than my apartment. Not to mention that every room smelled like her, so it already felt like mine. Of course I'd fucking come there. "Yeah, baby. If you want me, then I'm coming home with you. But we need to discuss a few things when we get there."

The second I said that shit, I knew it sounded like we were discussing something terrible. Given the state of Bella and the way she'd been worrying, I came to the conclusion that I was a major fucking dumb ass. Her trembling voice confirmed my theories.

"Of course I want you. Is it bad?"

Time to backtrack, dipshit. "Not at all, Bella. I've been thinking a lot since you left earlier…and we just need to talk. It's not bad, love. You better not be worrying now. You believe me, don't you?"

_Believe me, baby._

I could tell by the tone of her voice that she did believe me, even though she was still a little worried. I'd fix it tomorrow. I had to fight every instinct inside of me not to ask her to come back and lay with me. The hospital bed was too small for us, it hurt to move over and I couldn't properly sleep because I needed to make sure she was okay, but she was more important than all that shit. I needed to feel her against me, folded into my side just like the only fucking puzzle piece that would ever fit me. Her head on my shoulder, her leg curled over mine, her hand over my heart. A choking breath escaped my body at the realization of how much I needed that girl.

Six weeks since I met her…and it didn't matter one fucking bit. This kind of devotion wasn't constricted by time or boundaries. I was going to spend the rest of my life with Bella, and there was no reason why we should have to wait another second…whether we'd known each other for six weeks or six years. I already felt like too much time had gone by.

We got off the phone in lingering goodbyes. I tried to push my love for her through the receiver and straight into her very core. If there was one thing she'd never have to doubt, it was my fucking adoration for her.

I hung up the phone and lay down on the bed, pulling the blankets up around my chin. I was going to do anything to get out of this hospital tomorrow. My baby and I were going to talk our asses off and get our shit straightened out. I was going to lay my hopes and dreams on the table, and pray she'd want the same. I smiled happily, because finally—fucking _finally_—this felt like the beginning of the rest of my life.

I fell asleep with more hope in my heart then I'd ever had before, because we were starting, and life was good.

Our life was going to be so fucking good.

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Awww to the brotherly love!

Leave me a review....they seem to be few and far between lately. Don't you still love Uncle E? :'(

Or just review to give me some motivation to survive this deathcold, hehe. Thanks guys!


	14. Finding the Melody

**EPOV!!! WOOT!!!**

**You will be receiving one more EPOV, and that will be his take of the epi...which you haven't even read yet! MUAHAHAHA!!!**

**I'm posting the first chap of my new fic, Laid Bare, within the week. Be on the look out, my lovelies. Hope you enjoy this guys. :)**

**Isabel and Melissa...I love love love ya. It's all I can say.**

**Um, Edward got a little dirty. Sorry about that... COUGHnotreallysorryCOUGH**

**Not mine, let's roll.**

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My dick…is going to fall off.

I wish I was kidding. I wish I didn't get stabbed and I wish I could thrust my fucking hips without feeling like the fiery pits of hell are situated right inside my gut. I wish Bella wouldn't walk around our house in nothing but my t-shirt. Nah, fuck that. I'd never change that shit.

I rolled over and groaned as Bella's iPod started going off, sounding 6am. Time for school. I groaned even louder at the sound of that stupid fucking fireflies song that blared throughout the room. "Baby, I hate that fucking song," I yawned, pulling her against my chest and taking a deep whiff of her hair. She was so warm when we first woke up in the morning. She giggled and shut it off, throwing her arms gently around my waist and snuggling back in to her little nook. "I think you love it," she teased, kissing my collarbone and burrowing further into my side.

If I could take every fucking quiet morning that I shared with my girl and make it into a song, it would probably be the most beautiful shit in existence. My mind started running chords immediately. I had to get over to the apartment before it fell out of my brain. I had about four songs started at the present…my inspiration was not in short supply these days. Thanks to her.

"My appointment's at two, are you still coming with me?" I whispered, trailing my fingers up and down her bare arm.

"Yep, have the afternoon off," she yawned, tracing my happy trail. "What ever will we do when we get home?"

Christ, she was using that tone again. You know the one. The voice that tells me she wants me to fuck her sideways, frontwards, backwards, upside down…yeah, I needed a fucking time machine, because my dick may explode before we get there. Like a hotdog, cooked too long in the microwave. Fuck, that was gruesome. I cupped poor Eduardo and cringed at the thought.

_You're much larger than a hot dog, big guy._

I rolled on top of Bella and pulled her legs around my waist, my morning wood resting in its soft, warm resplendence. _Fucking hell._ She moaned and wrapped her arms around my neck as I sucked on her throat, my hips grinding to give us a little much needed friction. My girl cut herself off from the big O as well. She said if I wasn't coming, she wasn't either. It was an incredibly sweet gesture, but if I could've convinced her to let me give her a hand, I would have had a better chance to get in there myself. My girl caves easily when I drop a few 'F' bombs and say the word cock.

It didn't matter now, we were almost at the end of the long road of painful blood flow and swollen phalluses. Hopefully. I lifted her shirt and swept my thumb across her bare nipple, biting her bottom lip a little rougher than necessary. "I have an idea of what we can do." Her eyes fluttered closed and I slipped two fingers beneath her underwear, met with her constant wetness. My girl was fucking dripping for me. Constantly. Just like my cock was always at full attention for her. Always. I could put any teenage boy to shame with my 24 hour boner, no joke.

"Edward, please don't start it. I have to get up." Her tone was pleading and her eyes were clenched as she swiveled her hips against me. I maneuvered my hand out of her underwear and covered her face with kisses. "I'm sorry, baby."

A mini make out session and two and a half strokes of my cock through my basketball shorts, my girl left our warm bed and started getting ready for her day. Realistically, we could have been fucking for the last week. It really didn't hurt that bad anymore, but after what happened a couple weeks ago, I knew she wouldn't let me in until my dad signed off.

I thought back to the night our hormones told caution to take a flying leap. We were out with Bella's work friend and her husband. I was pretty fucking psyched when my buddy Tyler was able to come to town for the night. We got royally pissed up, and it was a lot of fun. I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella that night. Dancing and laughing and really letting go. After her third shot of tequila, she was riding my dick pretty fucking thoroughly. Right at the bar, right through our clothes. I very nearly had a _cum in my pants_ experience. And when the words "I need you to fuck me until I scream" left her plump, glossy lips…well, it was time to go home. Immediately.

I made her come in the cab, her teeth buried in my neck and my fingers sneakily pounding the shit out of her. I was proud of her for not making a sound, and it was a little…okay, _a lot_ thrilling to have our first experience at exhibitionism. Lucky for us, our cabbie was pretty much oblivious that we were even in his shitty cab to begin with.

I made her come again up against the garage door, my own climax alarmingly close from just thrusting against her and her God damn nails clawing the shit out of my dick through my pants. Christ, if I could take that night and turn it into a melody, my piano keys would break from the intensity of my pounding fingers.

_Fuck, make that five songs I've started._

She was naked the second I slammed the front door shut behind us. She pulled my shirt off hastily, tearing my clothes and ripping my pants down my legs. Amongst the haze of arousal and intensity and _Bella_, I realized that we needed to ease up. I was so adamant that we were going to finally be together that night, and I didn't want anything to fuck that up. And I know if I just would have caught her when she jumped me, if I would have detached my fingers from her swollen nipples and rose up to catch her by the ass, well….I wouldn't be so sexually deprived right now. But as it turns out, my girl's got some amazing fucking tits, so I missed her, and she nabbed me right in the gut. A white light of pain flashed behind my closed eyelids and I couldn't help the groan of agony that escaped my lips. It fucking hurt like a mother. And then my baby was shattered, crumpling to the floor and falling apart at the pain that was no one's fault. I picked up my destroyed shirt and wrapped it around her sobbing and shaking naked body, scooping her up in my arms (which also fucking killed me after the kneeing, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to let _her_ know that) and carrying her to bed.

Her anguish burned worse than any fucking irritated flesh wound, I assure you. It took me over an hour to calm her down. I nearly fucking started crying myself, which was fucked up in itself. I'd be damned if I would be turning into some bawling pansy just because I was severely in love with the most amazing girl on the planet. It was just the way she chastised herself, her big reddened brown eyes showing so much pain at something she thought was her fault….that shit really tore me up.

She finally promised me she didn't blame herself, but that put an end to any possibility of sex. She fell asleep in my arms, wrapped in my shredded shirt. I went to bed with the biggest case of blue balls known to man, but how could I rub one out when my slumbering, discouraged girlfriend was curled up on my chest?

I was broke from my thoughts when Bella walked out of the bathroom, a blue towel covering her still wet skin. Her hair was up in a knot and her cheeks were slightly flushed from the heat of the shower. She was so fucking beautiful, it knocked the air right out of my lungs.

I shifted and sat on the edge of the bed, my eyes following her around the room as she picked her outfit for the day. "Bella." My voice was gruff from just waking up.

"Hmm?" she hummed, rifling through the top drawer for some panties that would surely cause me future torment.

"Will you come here?" I whispered, my eyes burning into the small mole on the back of her upper thigh. I wanted to bite it. She grabbed what she was looking for out of the top drawer and laid her clothes out on the bed before coming to stand between my legs. I unwrapped her towel and pulled it from her body, discarding it on the floor and laying my cheek against her abdomen. My arms wrapped around her tightly, and I groaned at the smell of her clean skin and her fingers pulling through my hair. "Mmmm..I love the feel of your hair right here," she sighed, running her hand along her ribcage where my hair lay across it.

I maintained the hold I had around her hips, my head sliding to the side so I could look up into her eyes. "I love you, Bella. Have I told you that yet today?"

She giggled, and it made my heart do back flips. "Not yet," she murmured, running the back of her hand along my stubbly jaw. My hands slid down her ass and pulled her on my lap, our noses touching gently as we smiled happily at each other. "I love you," I whispered.

She sighed deeply, really deeply. I felt her ribcage expand dramatically against my fingers as the air in her lungs was inhaled and exhaled hastily. "Edward," she breathed against my neck. "You just don't know."

We held each other just like that until my baby was running around the house like a madwoman in order to make it to work on time. I shoved a cup of coffee in her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and just like that she was gone. A beautiful blur of long brown hair and a tight gray skirt that made me bite my knuckles. _Hard. _

About eight hours, give or take. Christ, that was like an entire fucking day. I hopped in the shower, desperately wishing I could toss one off so I didn't come after my first thrust this afternoon. Oh well, it wouldn't be fair to my girl if I gave in, and it was gonna be brief anyway, given the way she was dressed today. _Fucking naughty teacher outfit_. The good news was that we had the entire weekend to just keep right on going. I chuckled deviously at the thought.

Once I was bathed and dressed, I went outside and smoked a cigarette. I was thinking about quitting, but probably not until the cockblock of '09 was lifted. I went back in and started cleaning the kitchen. It was already clean, but I was a stickler for making the place that contains your food a place of utter spotlessness. I looked around the room, smiling at the house that had quickly become my home. Jasper once asked me if I felt inferior since it was my girl's house and not mine. While I did have some reservations about it at first, it really didn't bother me anymore. I mean yeah, sometimes in the middle of the week when Bella went off to work and I dicked around the house, I felt like kind of a loser. But I was off work, on restrictions, and it wasn't like she was supporting me. The job was out once I was off of leave anyway. I didn't know what I'd do, but with my incessant musical obsession lately, I was excited to do something more.

With the burden of Tanya and the stress of what I was doing to Bella, my need for music was previously put on the back burner. Bella had inspired me since the day I met her, but now that there was nothing standing in our way, the ideas wouldn't stop invading my mind. It was exhilarating, and I just wanted to further myself. I wanted to know everything there was to know. I'd figure it out eventually. In the meantime, we'd live off of my substantial savings and her teaching salary. It's nice to take a break every now and then to re-evaluate your life, if you're in a position to do so.

I grabbed a bagel and scooped my keys off the counter, walking swiftly out of the house and to my car. I needed to get to the apartment and work for awhile. I was always afraid I'd lose the melody, lose the rhythm. I smiled reverently. I wasn't losing the melody, she was just off enriching the minds of children.

My mind started drifting as I tapped a steady beat against the steering wheel. One thing had been on the forefront of my brain as of late. The next step.

I had a ring.

I had no idea what I'd do with it or when, but when I told Alice I was ready to at least have it in my possession, she screamed, deafened me, and took me ring shopping the next day. She was very insistent on a gaudy, large bauble, but it just wasn't Bella. It wasn't _us_. As my eyes drifted along the many exquisite pieces, the noise of the shop drifted away once my eyes swept over the ring in the far back corner. It was delicate and gentle, just like my girl. The shine of the stone that reflected against the light reminded me of the glow in her eyes. I envisioned it on her slender finger. I saw myself sliding it on her hand and nearly bursting from my feelings for her. It was silver and untainted just like the lining of her good, pure heart. That ring was molded and fashioned and destined to be on my Bella's finger. That ring belonged to her, just as my heart did.

I bought it without question, Alice crying and nodding her agreement silently. I took a deep breath. _The next step._

I turned into my apartment parking lot, the feeling of detachment heavy inside of me. I couldn't even remember a time when this was my home. Now this was a place for me to work. A studio to exercise my creative juices. I walked in and threw my keys on the counter, looking around the empty living room. My lease was up in two weeks, and we'd have to move the piano soon. Bella was giving me the spare bedroom to work, and I agreed…as long as the piano was nestled against the wall that we painted and smudged and loved and owned. I still caught myself stopping and staring as I walked past the room every now and then.

I pulled out my sheets of music and studied the progress I'd made yesterday. I pulled the pencil from behind my ear and made some notes in the margin, my eyes hard as they studied every note and every detail. It didn't have a title, and I still didn't fully understand what it represented. I just knew it was big, and so fucking real, I didn't even know what to do with it. To be honest, it freaked me out, and that's saying a lot considering I've had no reservations about loving her, living with her, and proposing to her.

Last weekend we went to a birthday party for one of my work buddies. He was decent enough, so I decided I'd make an appearance. Really I wanted to show off my beautiful girl. _Eat shit, assholes. She's mine._ Bella looked fucking unbelievable in a little blue cocktail dress, her hair pulled up to the side and her eyes smoky and filled with love that was only directed towards me. We walked into the lavish apartment that belonged to Keith and Sara. I watched my girl grip her clutch a little tighter, the fingers of her other hand digging into my forearm. She was apprehensive about being in a room full of complete strangers. I squeezed her a little tighter and kissed her temple.

I watched as all eyes fell on us, the men's eyes widening, their jaws dropping. The women watching Bella with jealous eyes as their men observed her beauty. Bella looked up at me and smiled, completely oblivious to the way every pair of eyes drifted to her. Already the night had a feel of wonder and _life_. She made me feel so fucking amazing, like my heart would explode…and Emmett could call me Emoward all he wanted. It didn't matter. _She_ fucking mattered.

I was ready to give her that ring right fucking there, but I knew it wasn't the right time. I would know when it was. Just like I knew the moment I fell in love with her and the moment I could never live without her.

The night went on as such, a few cocktails, a lot of small talk, and a million little touches and flirty stares exchanged with my girl. She was getting along pretty well with Sara, so when a few guys from work dragged me off to talk football, she shooed me off with a gentle kiss to the lips. She wrapped my tie around her fist and pulled, her eyes so full of absolutely everything. "I love you." The forcefulness of her tone made me feel it in my soul. She pushed me away and I was left dumbfounded, rubbing the back of my neck and leaving half of myself behind with each step.

It was like an obsession that night. My eyes wouldn't leave her. My heart beat to the sound of her laughter. Every other person in the room was a soft murmur, she was loud and vibrant to me, and the only thing I needed in this world. Her eyes met mine from across the room, our time apart nearing a half an hour and becoming damn near unbearable. She grinned happily, her bottom lip jutting out a bit in a pout. Her fingers twitched in my direction. She wanted me. I nearly bounded across the room.

I spread my fingers across her lower back, watching as my hand nearly covered the entire expanse of her delicate waist. I leaned my forehead against her temple, reveling in her scent and the way her body fit into mine. "Don't leave me again," she whispered, her fingers tracing small circles along my stomach.

I would be fucking bound and tied to her for the rest of my existence…didn't she know?

"Come home with me, Bella," I whispered against her cheek, realizing this was quite an emotional exchange in front of many people and definitely not giving a shit. She turned to face me, her thumb tracing my bottom lip as she gazed up at me. "Take me home, baby," she murmured, a dreamlike state passing over her features. Christ, it was nearly the most intense night of my life.

The ride home was difficult, since I had to hold onto a steering wheel and watch a road when all I wanted to do was devote my entire attention towards her. She was leaned over the shifter during the drive, the three top buttons of my shirt undone so her fingers could glide along my chest. It wasn't about sex, although the night would have been complete the moment I was inside of her and we were connected entirely. It didn't matter, I wouldn't have changed a single detail.

We got home and I refused to take my eyes off of her, walking backwards towards the house with her arms around my waist and our eyes captivating each other. Nothing existed but her. We didn't turn a single light on, just stumbled to our bedroom and took our clothes off slowly, our hands exploring every new piece of exposed skin. We fell into bed, the sheets tangling as our bodies intertwined. I touched every part of her that night, my lips explored every inch of the girl who was responsible for my existence. We touched and we held and we loved. God, did we love. I couldn't speak. I felt her tears and I swept them up with my tongue, wanting all of her inside of me. I had never been more vulnerable, more exposed to another person before. My fingers dug into her hips as her hands swept all over my body eagerly, frantically, like she couldn't get there fast enough. I whimpered the most raw, most truthful thing I could as we gave ourselves to each other with our whole hearts. "I'm laid bare, Bella. Just take all of me."

She moaned so deeply at my words, like they swallowed her whole and enveloped her completely. We stayed up until the sun began to rise and the birds began to chirp. The night defined us…and things had been more than I ever expected they could be, ever since that perfect night.

I played the half written song with my eyes closed, the notes on the page already etched into my memory. I played until I couldn't any longer, my hands trembling violently from the memory of her touch and the intensity of that night. Things would never be the same between us…miraculously it kept getting better and better. Would it ever stop?

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. New text.

_Your nephew just asked Charlotte if she wanted fries with that shake. Was that you or Emmett? J I miss you so much right now, babes. How is that possible?_

I smiled widely and shook my head at Masen's pick up line and the perfect timing my girl had. I really needed contact with her in that moment.

_That was all Emmett. But if he asks her if it hurt falling from heaven, that may have been me. And it's possible, love. It just keeps getting better doesn't it?_

A moment went by and my phone sounded.

_I love you._

My heart clenched….hard.

I smiled and wrote her the words she spoke this morning. _You just don't know._

I stared at my phone like I was trying to figure out the time-space continuum, when suddenly my front door was thrown open and a blur of massive proportions crawled up onto my piano in a classic pin-up pose. "Do I make you horny, baby? Do I?" My brother said in his best Austin Power's voice, puckering his lips at me.

"Em, get your fat ass off of my musical equipment before you bust it," I growled, kicking at the leg he had dangling off the side.

"Jesus, who pissed in your cornflakes?" he muttered, climbing off the top of the piano and sitting next to me on the piano bench. "So either your phone just gave you a top notch beej or you're talking to Bellllaaa," he sing-songed, pinching my cheek.

"Dude, how can a phone give a beej?" I questioned incredulously, my eyebrows furrowed as I slapped his hand away. I thought back to Bella's text and a crooked smile took over my features. "Yeah, apparently Mase tested out your "fries with that shake" line on his little girlfriend."

Emmett chuckled heartily. "Yep. That's my boy. Let's get a burger, bro. I'm fucking famished."

I rose from the bench and gathered my sheet music. There's no way I'd be getting anything accomplished while Emmett was here. "Ooh, _famished_, Emmett? That word of the day TP must be working to your advantage," I teased, slapping him on the back.

"Come on, Bitchward. Mickey D's is callin' my name," he sighed, standing up and punching me in the arm.

Twenty minutes later, I was staring at Emmett in disbelief as he annihilated two big macs and a ten piece nugget. "You're gonna have a fucking heart attack by thirty," I muttered through a mouthful of fries.

"Nah, I work for the NFL. So, little brother, my lady got wind of your little shopping spree with Ali a few weeks ago," he said nonchalantly, wiping his hands on a napkin. "Are you trying to get my balls put into a vice, or what the fuck?"

I chuckled, picturing Rose's take on the whole thing. They'd been dating for two years, and I get Bella a ring after two months. I could only imagine the wrath she was inflicting on my unsuspecting brother. "What can I say man?" I sighed, lacing my fingers behind my head and shrugging. "I know what I want. And that's Bella, for the long haul."

He chucked a fry at my forehead. "I know what I want too, asshole," he barked, looking like a wounded puppy as he stared down at the table. Ugh, I felt another talk about feelings and shit coming on.

I sighed and dropped my elbows to the table. "Look, Em, if you love her, if you know you don't want any other girl ever again, if you look at Rose and the fucking air gets knocked out of you, then make an honest woman out of her. Just be absolutely sure before you take that step. It's pretty huge."

He looked up at me earnestly, his blue eyes burning into mine. He nodded his head slightly, and I smiled at the genuine moment. It passed just as quickly. "I know it's huge, Emoward," he grinned, making a jerking hand gesture over the table.

I shook my head. Emmett.

* * *

It was two painful hours later.

I felt the pulse of my cock throbbing inside my ears. It was blaring inside my head, and I swear if I looked down at my crotch, I could see the poor guy knocking on my zipper, begging to get the fuck out. I winced as Bella crawled back in her seat and swung open her car door.

Sorry, big guy.

When Bella came home from school, I was pretty much desperate for her. I slammed her ass against the car and began ravishing her like a starving man at an all you can eat buffet, but she pointed out that we were getting stared at by the 88 year old neighbor lady. Apparently cockblocking was a senior citizen activity as well.

The drive to the hospital was tense, my body rigid as I tried to focus on the blaring head banging music and not my sexy girlfriend eye-fucking me in my peripheral vision. I nearly lost my shit when her tongue dragged along the top of my hand.

She told me to pull over.

She fucking demanded it.

I would have done it, too, if we weren't already in the hospital parking lot. My haze of horniness lifted enough for me to realize that Bella was already swiftly walking towards the hospital entrance. I bolted out of the car, pulling her tight little ass up onto my raging hard on and telling her exactly what she'd be getting as soon as we were out of this fucking establishment. I doubted that we'd even make it home. My dick was fucking leaking like a 13 year old's wet dream.

I took her hand as we walked through the doorway, my fingers curling around hers a little too tightly. She squeezed back, and I think we were hurting each other in an odd attempt to let out some of this fucking tension. I pressed the "up" button to the elevator and I moaned softly when no one got in with us. The doors weren't even all the way closed before I propped her ass up on that handrail and attacked her with my mouth, my hands, and my over eager cock. "Hit the button," she moaned, her tongue sweeping slowly along my jaw and down my neck. I seriously considered hitting the big red stop button, but I didn't know if there were cameras in this elevator. No one got to see my girl naked but me.

My hands snuck under her skirt and grabbed her ass, spreading her cheeks and pulling her against me. I groaned at how easily I could slip into her with a flick of my zipper. "Get your tongue in my fucking mouth," I growled, needed to fuck her mouth like my cock wanted to take her pussy. She complied with a high pitched moan, flying away from the wall and attacking me as I stumbled back against the opposite wall.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered a small "ding" but wasn't willing to stop tasting her until I heard a gasp and a sharp clearing of a throat. Two nurses were staring at us with open mouths. One looked appalled while the other looked like she wanted in on that shit. I pondered the idea of a threesome for a moment, but quickly squashed it. While the idea of Bella with another woman was fucking hotter than the surface of the sun, there was no God damn way anyone would be touching her but me. End of story.

Bella hopped off me and straightened her shirt, a wry smile playing on her lips. "Ladies," she nodded as she passed them, dragging me along behind her.

_Seriously fucking loved that girl._

I finally got down to a half chub when I walked into the exam room, since that was as low as he was willing to go while Bella was in the vicinity. The appointment went well. My dad told me exactly what I already knew, that I was healed. He made fun of me for being sexually aggravated, which Bella thought was hilarious. If I had any willpower left at all, I'd hold out on her tonight. But as we all know, willpower is definitely not my forte.

My dad listened to my heart for some reason and examined my slightly reddened scars. He said things were good and I agreed. I honestly felt alright. I mean, I might drop if someone sucker-punched me, but if Bella kneed me again, I'd be okay. My dad left me to get dressed and told us to meet him in his office. I just laid back and said a few words to get Bella on my dick and riding it good and proper. She fucking took the bait too, until sponge bath Melissa barreled through the door. She sputtered some awkward words, her eyes drifting from my face, down to my bare chest and to the massive denim tent that was standing loud and proud.

I didn't know if she was scared or dickmatized. I chuckled at the ridiculous words that Bella had intertwined into my vocabulary.

Finally we walked into my dad's office and he smirked at me knowingly. I shook my head. _The eagle has not landed, Dad, I assure you_. My fingers dug into my thighs as my eyes traveled over Bella's bare, crossed legs. She licked her lips and listened intently as Carlisle spoke, her hair up in a messy bun and her white shirt tight against her firm tits. Fucking hell. Did she even realize how fucking sexy she was?

I was distracted by the shrill sound of a beeper. "Shit," my dad muttered. "I have a trauma coming in. Well we can discuss this more at Masen's party. I presume you two can find your way out?"

I ran a hand through my hair at the downright sinful thought that coursed through my head.

_Sorry, Dad. So very sorry._

The second the door closed behind us, we lunged at each other. It didn't matter where we were, because Bella knew I was officially ready and I needed her on me before I passed the fuck out. My mind was erratic, a deep animalistic urge rising throughout my entire body. She was mine and I was going to take her. Hard, fast, and deep. I was going to destroy and ravage and _own_. I was going to make her fucking beg for my cock.

I pulled her in my lap by her wrist, a soft squeak escaping her lips as I yanked her down on top of me. Our eyes met, and there was no stopping me. I ripped her shirt open with brute force, buttons ricocheting everywhere as my teeth dragged along her chest. She arched her back, a pleading whimper escaping her as her fingers pulled desperately and painfully against my hair. I nearly roared as I slipped my hands underneath her bra, pulling her nipples away from her body and twisting. A sob of pleasure escaped her lips as her knees tightened around my hips. Thank God she needed it just like I did.

"Bella, I'm fucking you right here," I whispered darkly, my hands cupping both of her breasts and squeezing tightly. "Tell me I can fuck you right here, baby."

I didn't wait for an answer.

I gripped both sides of her lacy little underwear and tugged until the fabric snapped, throwing them to the floor and pulling her on my cock. I moaned as I felt her wet heat covering me right through my jeans. She pulled my hair again and I straightened right up, crushing her against me as our mouths crashed together in sloppy, frenzied need. I couldn't wait another minute to feel how wet she was for me. How hot and ready she was for my cock to be buried inside her. My hands slid around the curve of her ass and right between her legs as I stood us both up. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I supported her by the ass while my other hand fucked her swollen pussy. She was fucking drenched, a drop of her arousal sliding down my palm as I worked her hard and fucking fast. I walked her over to the door and slammed her against it, my fingers curling inside her and making her mouth fall open silently while her eyes clenched. I needed to watch her come. I needed to feel her muscles clench around my fingers. I needed more of the sweet fucking juice that was _mine_. I wanted her taste on my fucking tongue. I slammed my palm against the door next to her head as I finger fucked her brutally. "Come hard. Come _right_ now," I commanded darkly, thrusting my cock against the door forcefully, making it hurt and making it so fucking good as she screamed and clenched around me. A low, guttural "fuck" escaped her lips as her body spasmed against mine, my fingers still swirling slowly against her opening as she came back down. My heart skipped a beat every time she'd grip my fingers inside her, tight and sporadic.

I slid my hand out from between us and groaned when I saw her wetness all over my fingers. I looked up at her and she was staring at it as well, almost mystified at the sight of her arousal on my hand. "Look at me," I demanded. Our eyes met and I pulled a finger into my mouth, moaning loudly at the sweet and salty taste of my girl. She was so fucking delicious. I released my finger and let my tongue slip out of my mouth and drag along my hand, enjoying every drop of her succulence. Not to mention it was driving her fucking insane with every pull of my tongue. She whimpered and flew at me, her teeth clamping down around my tongue before sucking with an impressive amount of force. My hand slid down the door and turned the lock as she dominated my mouth with her soft fucking lips. She grunted deeply and my knees started to shake at the sight of my Bella losing her fucking shit in the need for my dick. She leaned back against the door and clawed at my shirt, pulling it away from my chest and off of my shoulders. Once it was discarded to the floor and she resituated, her hot fucking pussy was pushing right against my belly button. And I wasn't waiting another God damn minute.

"Please fuck me," she whimpered, her hips thrusting against my stomach and her soft folds spreading against my skin. I could feel every fucking inch of her on me, and I was losing control with each thrust of her hips.

"Ask nicely," I whispered teasingly against her bottom lip. She groaned and I didn't know if she was going to punch me or throw me down and take what she wanted.

I walked her to the edge of Carlisle's desk and pushed things hastily out of our way. Her big doe eyes met mine and her bottom lip was between her teeth. "Please fuck me," she breathed once more.

And I was fucking gone.

I set her on the edge and pushed my palm flat against my dick, my lidded eyes burning into her as I relieved some of the aching need that was ready to tear fabric in order to get to her. I thumbed the head of my cock forcefully through my jeans while I lifted her chin to avert her gaze from my ministrations and into my crazed eyes. "You want it…then come get it," I whispered, eager to watch her little fingers fumble for my cock.

It was better than I could have imagined, her tongue sweeping over her bottom lip as she frantically popped the button. Her fingers rubbing against my rock hard cock as she slowly slid the zipper down. A sinful smile spread across my lips as she pulled my pants and boxers down past my ass, my cock slapping against my stomach with her hastiness. She moaned at the sight of my throbbing shaft and the wetness covering the tip of my cock. She wanted it and I was going to fucking give it to her. She gripped me tightly, and a strangled groan left my lips as my eyes drifted closed.

Every pump of her fist felt like fucking heaven, my balls tightening every time her thumb swiveled over the head of my cock. "How does it feel?" she whispered from underneath her lashes, her thumb spreading my pre-cum all over my smooth, tight skin. Her hand was doing wonders, but I needed soft, wet heat. I needed _home_.

I leaned back and untangled her ankles from around my legs before planting her feet at the edges of the desk and spreading her wide. I groaned at the sight of her pink, swollen core, watching her wetness slide down the side of her leg, just for me. It was all for me. I looked back up into heavy, brown eyes and smiled deviously. "I can't even begin to tell you what it does to me, seeing my swollen cock in your little hand," I whispered deeply, my fingers sliding up her legs and teasing her entrance with soft strokes. "And now I want it in your little pussy. You mind?"

I chuckled at her response. She lost her shit when I busted out the big guns.

I kissed her knees and dove two fingers inside her, stretching her and preparing her for my massive fucking cock. She felt ready, and just as I was about to pull out and push on home, her fingers joined mine, pumping and stroking the smooth skin inside her. Our fingers were moist and hot against each other as we pleasured her together, my tongue pulling across her nipple forcefully as our fingers curled inside of her. Her hand left mine and slid from between her legs and over my cock, the hot juice on her fingers spreading all over me and making me slick with her arousal. I wouldn't wait another fucking second.

I told her I needed her hard and she told me I could have her any way I fucking wanted. I loved this girl and I needed to fuck this girl before I lost my God damn mind.

Her fingers dug into my neck as I slid inside her. All the way inside her. The breath left my mouth in one whoosh as I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feel of hot skin stretched tight, holding onto my dick like a fucking fitted glove. We fit together like destiny, and I would never tire of taking my girl like this. Being inside her was like the air I fucking breathed. I held still, her chest rising and falling rapidly as I felt her nails break my skin. It made me throb even harder. She clenched me tightly, way too fucking tightly and I felt myself beginning to fall over the edge. There was no way I was coming. Not yet. I barked out a warning, letting her know if she kept that shit up, it would be over before it started. She seemed to relax some and I began a steady rhythm.

Bella pulled me down to her and I moaned sharply when her nipple glided over mine, the sensory overload shooting straight to my dick. I pumped harder, my hands gripping the edge of the desk as I slammed against her more fervently every second I was buried inside of her. She gripped my forearms tightly, her perky tits bouncing with every thrust of my hips.

I pulled her ass tight against me, holding my cock inside of her deeply as I pushed as far as I could go. I groaned loudly as a scream left her lips, and I covered her mouth with mine as I backed off and began a steady rhythm again. She was visibly trembling and a thin sheen of sweat was already evident on her smooth skin. I felt a bead of liquid roll down my temple and realized she wasn't the only one that was working up a sweat.

We exchanged words and kisses and intense eye contact, the feeling of being inside her beginning to overwhelm me to the point of no return. She begged me to fuck her harder, and once I felt her fingers slide around my cock as I fucked her, well, there was no point in even trying to prolong the inevitable. I was going to come hard…so fucking hard. But not without her. The desk creaked beneath us, the front legs rising up off the floor as I pounded my girl just like we both needed it. We were causing destruction and chaos and hot fucking passionate love. I was losing my fucking mind in my need for her. Our pleading whispers were frantic, my cock engorged and throbbing as I confessed my love to her.

"I love you too," Bella whimpered. "Let it go, baby."

My fingers dug into her hip as I slid my other hand down her stomach and between her legs. "I'm gonna come," I groaned desperately, my thumb circling her swollen clit with enough force to send her straight up from the desk and wrap around my body. She cried out loudly and frantically, her walls clenching me and pulling me until I couldn't take another minute. With a few more hard, random thrusts, I unleashed inside of her, spurt after spurt filling her up and staking its claim. Our bodies were sticky and trembling against each other as I pumped inside of her shallowly while we slowly came back down.

I sat down in the chair behind me and took her with, holding her in my arms and sighing deeply.

I chuckled breathlessly and pulled her tighter, trying really hard not to focus on the fact that we were in my father's office, and that I had fucked the shit out of my girlfriend on his overpriced, glossy oak desk.

_Whoops._

* * *

It's amazing how quickly a mood can change. First, we get it on like two fucking wild animals in heat. Next my girl's going down on me while I'm attempting to drive and function and _breathe_. Then she's asking me to fuck her on our counter.

But one look in her eyes. One shift of her body. One touch of her hand. And she reminds me that it's not just fucking and hormones and lust. It's love. The kind of love that most people don't even know exists. She was beautiful as she perched on our counter. Her eyes were soft and full of everything. I released the makeshift buttons of her shirt, chuckling at the memory of her chewing my ass for ripping off her buttons. Hey, at least I gathered them up and pocketed them, even though I still had a feeling I was forgetting something. It didn't matter…nothing did but the fact that we were here. Together.

"Edward," she whispered intensely, her tongue wrapping around my name, making me feel safe and warm and loved. I pushed the hair out of her face gently, my heart nearly bursting from the realization that we were in _our_ house, and I would have her for the rest of my life. Everything was perfect, but I wanted to give her more.

"I'm here," I whispered, scooping her gently up off the counter and holding her securely against me. My forehead pressed against hers as I let out a shaky breath. I needed to show her how much I loved her. I needed to recreate the night of the party, only this time I'd finish it, connecting our bodies and our hearts beyond any other means. Now, I would finish it. "Can we do the counter later, baby?" I breathed against her lips. "I want to make love to you in our bed."

"Yes," she whispered, smiling against my mouth. "Yes."

The word made my heart jump and my stomach turn.

_Yes._

And suddenly I was ready to hear that word in regards to the question that mattered most. Now was the time. I walked her slowly to our bed, my eyes reluctant to leave hers. I was ready to ask her. Ready to see that ring on her finger, ready to make her mine for the rest of our lives. Ready to protect her and love her and give my fucking life in the sake of her happiness. I'd do fucking anything for her and I was ready.

So God damn ready I could literally burst.

I laid her down gently on the bed, pulling away the last few articles of her clothing as my hands slid smoothly over her bare skin. My eyes refused to leave hers. I unbuttoned my shirt and kicked out of my pants, eager to be naked with her and lay with her and love her. It was all I ever wanted.

I kissed her gently, my hair falling against her forehead as I smiled happily down at her, our bodies aligning and my fingertips tracing smooth circles along her skin. My heart beat rapidly at the look in her eyes. She fucking loved me so much, and I was unworthy of the angel that I shared my bed with every night. How could I ever express my gratitude for finding her, for being able to love her? I could thank God for the rest of my life, and it would never be enough. Her tears built in her shining eyes and fell over her bottom lashes, trailing a wet path over her pink cheeks. Pink like a petal….pink like the fucking sun as it sets on a summer evening. Her beauty was downright astonishing.

I kissed her cheeks, taking her tears inside of me and making them mine. She touched my hair softly, her eyes opening and closing in the deep yellows and oranges of the darkening room. I laid my ear over her frenzied heart, reveling in the sound that kept me going…that kept me alive. "What's wrong, baby?" I whispered, quite ready to pillage and kill and destroy anything that brought my love any distress. She deserved nothing but happiness every day of her fucking life.

"Nothing," she laughed softly, wiping at her wet cheeks. "I just love you too much, babes. My heart can't keep up with it."

A gentle hum escaped my lips as I listened to her racing heart and held the soft skin of her hip. Her hand spread across my jaw, rubbing gently along the stubble. I rose and touched my nose to hers. "There's no such thing as too much, Bella."

She pulled me down to her and captured my lips with hers, every stroke of her mouth expressing the love in her heart. I felt what she was trying to do, showing me without words the extent of her feelings. My heart just fucking throbbed for her in that moment. She entwined our fingers tightly as she whispered against my lips. "But sometimes I can't even breathe."

I knew. I knew how she felt because it burned inside of me every single day. And we were together on this path. Didn't she know that I'd never fucking leave her side again? Her legs moved around my hips and cradled me against her, her fingers tightening around mine as my eyes burned into hers. "Then we'll suffocate together," I breathed, my voice cracking in emotion. We'd suffocate together.

I pushed inside of her slowly, connecting us completely, wholly. Her skin was glowing in the late afternoon light. Her eyes would open and close as our bodies moved together like they never left. She knew every inch of me, she gave and gave and gave to me…she was always so willing to let me have her. I'd never fucking take that for granted.

My breathing was sporadic, my lips fighting to cover every inch of her skin that was available to me. I loved her. I loved her from the depths of my soul and the beat of my heart…I loved her so irrevocably, and this was our moment. This was our time.

She pulled me closer, her moans getting heavier as our bodies slid together reverently. I felt the build in my stomach grow more demanding and I didn't want it. I wanted to be like this with her all night. Stroking her and loving her and being connected with her in the most intimate way. I wanted this forever.

And there was only one way to get it.

"Bella," I groaned, my fingers tracing her cheek as her eyes poured pure love into mine.

She smiled happily and my breathing hitched. "Edward," she sighed, so much love in her voice and her eyes and her heart.

"I love you too much, too," I murmured, knowing deep down the way it felt to love more than you're able to express. To burn hotter than any words can describe or touch can explain.

The room was quiet and reverent, her breaths filling my mouth and our need taking up the entire expanse of the room. Our need to exist inside each other, to be consumed completely.

She came softly but violently, her hands pulling at my back and bringing my full weight down on top of her. She was breathtaking, and I couldn't hold on for much longer.

We kissed deeply and passionately until I released inside her, pulling her tighter and fighting to close the invisible distance that would never relent. I reluctantly pulled out of her and fell to her side, her warm body curving against mine as she sighed contentedly. My fingers ran through her hair and I kissed her forehead as I watched her eyes dance over the shadows on the wall. She ran her hand up and down my skin, lazily existing in our room that held so much. I looked at her, stared at her, poured right into her, watching the girl that I loved more than life itself and knowing that this was the one moment I'd been waiting for. The right time. The perfect time.

She curled against me further and wrapped her arm around my waist. "I love you," she whispered, placing a soft kiss to my chest.

And this was it.

"Marry me," I whispered, my voice trying to be forceful but coming out rather pleading. Who was I kidding, I'd fall to my knees and beg until the end of time for her hand.

Her big brown eyes went wide, the breath halting inside her throat as she sat up quickly. "What?" she breathed anxiously.

I pulled her in my lap, needing to feel her on me completely while I bared my entire soul for the taking. "Please, Bella," my broken whisper fought against the emotions boiling inside me. My words were faltering, so I needed to show her. I picked her hand up delicately and placed it over my erratic heart. "It beats for you. It beats _because_ of you, baby." I kissed her again and again, praying she'd say yes and knowing there could be no other way. She began crying softly, her fingers pushing gently against my chest. "I love you, Bella," I continued, my anxiety rising with every passing second she didn't respond. My love for her was the truest thing I'd ever known, and I was desperate for her to understand. "Marry me," I whispered vehemently, my eyes pleading with her to grant this one request of forever. "Say yes, and prove to me that there's a higher power and a reason for this world to keep turning. Please, Bella….be my wife. Be _mine_. Be mine until the fucking stars burn out and everything ceases to exist. Please…"

She shook her head back and forth slowly, incredulously. Like the haze of the room was no more than a dream and not the afternoon light carrying my plea of marriage into the space between us. Her lips curled slightly, her tears streaming steadily. "Yes."

My heart stopped. Everything stopped. Because she said yes.

_She said yes._

"Yes," she repeated against my lips, crawling further into my lap and crushing herself against me as I laughed and cried and fucking lived for the moment we were in. The most important moment in my life…this was it.

We kissed and held and loved, celebrating together the only way we knew how. We were getting married. Holy shit. She pulled back slightly, the smile on her lips radiant and genuine. God, she was so happy. I did that…_I_ was the one who made her happy.

She wasn't guilty or sad….longing or eager…hesitant or scared. The pain of the past was never going to fucking touch us again, I'd make damn sure of it. I kissed her once more, my eyes dancing right along with hers. "Let me get your ring, baby," I murmured softly.

Her eyes went wide as she slowly slid off my lap, making me feel empty and slightly awkward without my other half connected to me. I walked to my golf clubs and pulled out the small velvet box, knowing she'd never find it there. I dropped to my knee at the edge of the bed and opened the box slowly, her eyes vibrant as she bit her lip in anticipation. "Bella…marry me, love?" I questioned once more.

Her finger slid delicately over the stone of the ring before her eyes met mine. "Okay," she whispered. "But only because you're proposing naked."

I laughed heartily, shaking my head at my beautiful girl and sliding the ring on her finger. She stared at it for several minutes, saying nothing but observing every aspect of the representation of my love for her. Finally she looked up at me with glassy, cheerful eyes. "This is my ring," she whispered. "This was made for me."

"_I_ was made for you," I murmured forcefully, rising from the floor and covering her body with mine. We lay across the tangled sheets, our legs intertwined and our fingers laced together so tightly. "I was made for you," I whispered, the truth of that statement washing over the both of us as I gazed down at her.

"God, I love you so much, Edward," she breathed, her face buried in my neck.

"Say it again," I pleaded.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Again."

"I love you."

I love you.

I love you.

The words lingered in the room like the heavy beating of our hearts.

I finally found the melody I'd been searching for my entire life. I found the rhythm in her love and the beat of her soul.

I love you.

And the rest was yet to be written.

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**I love you guys.**

**Leave me a review, tell me what you thought. See you over at Laid Bare!! :D**


	15. It's Only the Beginning

**Hey guys! I'm really sorry this took so long, but it's here. It makes me sad and happy to post this…happy because this is their send off to HEA-land, and sad because it's officially over.**

**This epilogue wouldn't exist—AT ALL—without my beta Isabel. She fixed this and molded this into what it was meant to be…so we all need to bow down to her for her amazing skill. She blows me away.**

**To my readers, thank you for hanging in there with me. I hope you'll continue to follow me in my future endeavors…I write for you!**

**You'll need a couple of songs for this chapter:**

**For the walk down the aisle: http://www(dot)youtube(dott)com/watch?v=IAqLdY0kjxo**

**For their "first" dance: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=c5IIXeR5OUI**

**I don't own Twilight, but the pleasure of writing Show and Don't Tell has been all mine. **

**P.S. This epilogue is loooooooong….please be ready to settle in and grab a box of tissue…sniff sniff.**

* * *

EPOV: Epilogue

_May_

I slammed my car door shut and rushed to my front door, hoping like all fucking hell that I didn't miss my girl before she took off for Angela and Ben's. They were having some sort of "my kid is ten months old party" or some shit. I know, parent's do some crazy shit, right?

_Christ_, my schedule had been so unbelievably hectic lately. Between readying the kids for their solo ensembles at the community center and trying to get my ass back into school, my baby and I had been missing each other left and right. It was fucking driving me insane, because the girl was pretty much like air to me and the constant suffocation was starting to get on my Goddamn nerves.

So yeah, she _needed _to be home.

I cursed loudly as I realized I forgot the bouquet of daisies in the front seat. It was stupid, stopping to get Bella flowers. I could have missed her by minutes because of my detour to the fucking floral shop…but I just wanted to do something nice for her. I missed her…_fucking hard_.

I ran to the car and grabbed the flowers before hauling ass back to the house and barging through the door. Bella jumped and looked at me with wide eyes as the door bounced off the wall protector.

She was in her blue flannel pajama pants and a black Tenacious D shirt, her hair in a ponytail and her ridiculous fucking leopard print snuggie wrapped around her shoulders. It didn't matter how many times you told her you were supposed to wear that shit around the front of you…nah, my fiancée left the fucking arm holes flap around her back while she wore that shit like a cape.

There weren't even capable words to describe how much I loved that girl.

She smiled shyly, my entire body growing warm like fucking sunshine as she gazed up at me. I rushed to the couch and sat down hastily, pulling her into my lap and kissing her with a little more fervor than anticipated. She giggled and looked at me like I was crazy, but I just shrugged, pulling her closer until her knees were resting on either side of me. "You have no fucking idea how much I've missed you today baby." I kissed her once more and she murmured her agreement before I continued. "What are you doing in your pajamas….don't you have Ang and Ben's party?" I questioned, pulling her ugly ass snuggie off of her and pressing my nose against hers.

She shrugged, taking the flowers from my hand. "I wasn't in a party kind of mood, I guess. These are beautiful, thank you," she smiled kissing me gently.

I pulled her closely, reveling in the way her delicate waist felt wrapped inside of my arms. She was so soft and tiny and fucking beautiful, and there never seemed to be enough hours in the Goddamn day to spend with her. I knew it was important to get my shit straight and have a career or whatever—and I sure as hell loved volunteering—but my girl was NOT on the backburner. I needed to man the fuck up and stop neglecting her…especially since her dad called a week ago and sprung a shotgun wedding on us. Apparently he and Sue were getting hitched and weren't wasting one fucking moment in doing so. With their wedding being a week away, my girl had been stressed out and completely on edge…I just wanted to take it all away. I kissed her nose, her eye lids, and finally her lips. "Do you know how happy I am that you're here, love?"

She smiled forlornly, her eyes heavy and weighted with something more than just wedding plans and the strain of everyday life. My girl and I had been together for almost ten months, and while that wasn't a fucking lifetime, I knew her like no other.

I needed to make it better, because she was my baby and I fucking loved her…and I may be far from perfect, but when it came to Bella--Romeo and McDreamy and that fucking Pattinson guy didn't have shit on me.

She was my world.

And there was something wrong.

"What?" I asked flatly.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

Fake smile.

"Don't even, baby. You know you can't hide shit from me, so just spill." I crossed my arms over my chest and appraised her curiously as she pouted back at me.

She finally smiled slightly…giving me a flash of sincerity in those sparkling brown eyes. "Um…so you like me, right?"

"Uh…yeah, you're okay I guess." I chuckled, running my hand through my hair. "Bella, get real, you know I more than like you. Christ, I'd pretty much start up a fucking fanclub for you if I didn't know a bunch of pervy bastards would join it."

She giggled…the sound was like music to my ears.

"Baby, what's going on?" I took her hands and kissed her knuckles softly. "You can tell me anything…and get on with it, because we have a whole night together and I've got some very real plans involving a can of whip cream, your body, and my tongue." I felt my eyes darken as I rubbed slow circles beneath her shirt with my thumbs.

Usually my girl went ape shit for my Don Juan tone and come fuck me stare…but she was scowling at me…in a way where I seriously needed to consider covering up Eduardo and cowering in fear. "What?" I asked in a higher octave than normal.

"You. And your. Dick."

_Uh…_

…_say what?_

"Bella," I held both hands up like you do when you're approaching someone with homicidal tendencies. "Baby, as far as I knew, you were a fan."

She rolled her eyes and slapped my chest in aggravation. "Of course I'm a fan! If I'm not on it, I'm thinking about being on it, which makes me no better than a horny teenage boy with a dirty magazine and is exactly why we're in this situation! If you weren't so freaking hot all the time and talking all smooth and saying the words "fuck" and "cock"—

I pressed my finger to her lip…because only one phrase stuck out to me during that entire rant.

_This situation._

"What _situation_ are we in, love?" my voice was a broken whisper and my heart was humming so fucking hard I thought it would bust out of my chest cavity and take flight.

I was an educated man, alright? She's pissed at me and my dick, she likes being on it, and now we're in a situation…

…we sure as fuck don't use condoms.

…birth control yeah, but that shit can be fickle.

My eyes widened as she stared at me from beneath her lashes. "Bella?"

She ran both hands through my hair, gripping it in her fingers tightly at the base of my neck. "You probably don't remember, Edward, the night when Tanya…did that to you…but you told me you saw us with a little girl, with bronze curly hair and big brown eyes." She was crying now, her gaze not faltering from mine as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "And that vision has stuck with me ever since that night, because the idea of having a baby with you means more to me than anything. And now I'm pretty sure that I'm carrying your child…at least those five EPT's I peed on say so…and I'm so scared you don't want this yet, Edward. I know it's unexpected and it changes things…a lot…but this is happening and I need to know you're with me…no matter what."

I stared at her, my jaw slacked and my brow furrowed. I couldn't feel my hands, my feet, the couch, the house, this fucking world….

Had the love of my life just told me I was going to be a father?

Did she just tell me that our intense and passionate love created something inside of her…something that was ours and _us_…a life we made together?

I pulled at my collar as my breathing elevated to an outrageous and exhilarating level.

Could I be the guy with puke on his shirt and a fucking diaper bag tucked under his arm and a nuk in his pocket and one of those wrap dealies that strap the kid to your torso? Could I watch Elmo and trip on toys in the living room and sing my baby goodnight and burn with the intensity of love that only a father can feel for his child? Could I?

_Of course I fucking could._

Because I was alive with it the second the words left her lips. _I'm carrying your child…_

Bella pulled my hair firmly and sucked in a haggard breath. "You have to talk now, babes, or I'm going to freak out…"

My eyes snapped to hers, my girl bringing me back to reality…the reality where we were _parents…_and she was unsure that I wanted to be. "Bella, of course I'm with you…of course I want this."

I smiled so fucking hard and so fucking crookedly that I felt like my face would crack from the exertion. The burst of cheerfully giddy laughter almost exploded from my chest. My trembling, clammy hands held her beautiful face as these euphoric, miraculous sensations wracked my entire body.

I crashed my lips to hers, so fucking blissful I could barely contain it. Bella was frozen against me; maybe in shock, maybe in relief. My hands were shaking as I wrapped my arms tighter around her and she finally relaxed against me. She pulled my hair and slipped her tongue into my mouth, tasting me and sighing in utter contentment.

My girl was too fucking paranoid sometimes…like I'd ever deny her or my unborn child.

"You need to go to the doctor," my broken, crackled voice whispered, the act of speech obviously too much to handle in a moment like this.

She smiled brightly, pressing her forehead against mine. "I have an appointment Monday afternoon. You'll come with me, won't you?"

I licked my lips hungrily as she gazed up at me beneath her lashes, big brown eyes coy and slightly nervous as she waited for my reply. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Her hesitation was back. "Edward, we shouldn't get our hopes up. Home pregnancy tests aren't always accurate."

"Don't say that, Bella," I said forcefully. "You can't think like that, love. This is _our baby_."

"Our baby," she whispered against my lips.

And suddenly I saw her there…wobbling past the coffee table with chubby, bowed legs. I watched as her curls of bronze bobbed with each uneven step, the squeal of laughter as her chubby cheeks protruded with a joy only a child could know. Her hands reaching up to me, opening and closing, a whine threatening to break free from her angelic little lips because I wasn't picking her up fast enough.

This was my little girl…._we were going to have a girl_.

"Our first baby is going to be a girl," I said slowly, pulling Bella closer to me until we were chest to chest. "She's going to have your eyes and my hair. She's going to be just as beautiful as you are."

Bella cried a strangled sob, her arms flying around my neck and crushing me to her. "That's what you said," she whispered breathlessly. "When you were bleeding and lying there….that's exactly what you said."

I kissed her neck, wrapping my arms around her tightly as she cried into the crook of my neck. "Thank you," I whispered, rocking her back in forth slowly as we reveled in our unexpected miracle.

She looked up at me, her cheeks red and her eyes watery. "Are you sure?"

She put her warm hand on my face, my eyes automatically closing as I leaned into her palm. "I've known for so long, baby. This was it for me….I knew since that day in your classroom that you were the sun and I was just the planet circling around it." She pushed her forehead against mine, kissing my lips softly and still holding my cheek as I continued. "I want to watch your belly grow with our baby…with our life inside of you…Bella, you don't know how badly I've wanted it, since the moment I met you, I knew…"

She smiled, kissing my lips repeatedly as a noise of what could only be described as pure fucking happiness escaped her lips. "Me too, baby," she cried. "God, I was so scared you were going to spazz out."

I smiled softly at her. "Well, I'm sure I will eventually…what do I know about raising a kid?" I ran my hand along her abdomen slowly, her stomach taut but I felt more there…I could almost _feel_ my baby right inside of her, and I couldn't even try to deny the burning sensation in my eyes as they clouded with tears. My child was in there…_our child_. "I just know I love you…and I'll do whatever it takes to care for you and protect you…the both of you. It's all that fucking matters to me."

Bella giggled. "You're already a better Daddy than you think you are."

"Well shit, we need to go!" I stood us up, kissing her deeply and pulling her towards the door. "We need cribs and diapers and rattles and bottles and shit, right?"

She laughed heartily, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my jaw. "I think we have some time, babes."

I smiled widely, shaking my head. "Just when I thought you couldn't make me any happier."

"You won't be so happy when I'm puking my guts out and my fingers are swollen up like sausages," she groaned.

"Yes, but I'll still tell you you're beautiful…and I'd totally still do you."

She patted my face lovingly before wrapping her arms around my waist. "You are so full of shit…but I love you."

I grinned and kissed her slowly, letting my tongue drag across her bottom lip as my hands went beneath her shirt. She moaned softly before breaking our kiss and looking incredulously up at me. "This is what got us into trouble in the first place, Cullen."

I grabbed her ass and kissed her once more. "You can't get re-pregnant, baby."

Bella giggled, hopping up into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist. She pulled her long dark hair slowly from the band holding it, her bottom lip trapped tightly between her teeth as she gazed at me hungrily. "You have a good point, Edward. Take me away then…let's go celebrate our mad baby-making skills."

I groaned as she leaned in and bit my earlobe, walking her towards our bedroom and sucking on her neck ravenously in the process. I'd never get enough of this girl. We'll probably be 85 and I'll be riding her ass around on my fucking walker handles as I wheel her to our musty old bed, but you know what, I could fucking care less….

….and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I stared into the eyes of the girl that would belong to me forever, feeling a deep twinge of the need to make it official that much sooner, now that we were quickly turning into a "with child" couple. My girl had always wanted to get married in the fall, and since I pretty much proposed to her smack dab in the middle of it, it only made sense to wait a year.

But now…

…now everything was different.

How hard would it be really…to move the wedding up a few months?

"Edward?" she whispered just as we reached the bedroom door, breaking me from my thoughts of matrimony.

"Yeah?"

"Are we ready for this?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled and nodded, kissing the tip of her nose delicately. "We're ready…because things like this are just meant to be, Bella."

She sighed as if she were in a dream, kissing my lips as she looked into my eyes.

"_Meant to be_," she murmured softly.

* * *

_**August**_

"Dude…doucheward, you are turning an unsavory color of green."

I let out a moist breath…my mouth watering and my stomach churning in a very unappealing manner.

Was it even alright to vomit on church grounds? Because it was happening really fucking quickly if someone didn't turn up the fucking A/C and I didn't loosen the tie that was choking me. "Fuck you, Emmett," I panted, my hands resting on my knees as I fought to keep the contents of my stomach firmly in place.

Okay, so it's not like this wasn't the happiest day of my life to date, because it sure as hell fucking was, but I was just so damn nervous. I woke up this morning and realized that the love of my freaking existence was going to take me as hers today…forever. We were having a baby and they were _my_ responsibility…and I wanted it. Fuck, I wanted both of them more than air. But was I good enough? Could I handle being a good husband and a good father? There was nothing more I could ever ask for, but knowing my dumb ass, I'd fuck it up somehow.

"Edward?"

My sister's tinkling voice drifted through the fog of nausea, sending the slightest wave of relief to wash through my body. "I'm sick, Ali," I murmured.

"You're nervous," she smiled, fighting my crazy hair with her tiny fingers.

"What if I'm not enough for them?"

Vocalizing my biggest fear was like a punch to the fucking gut, and before I knew it I was flying around the corner of the church and throwing up profusely into the grass below. I felt the hot tears fill my eyes, my throat burning and my stomach heaving….I was already ruining our fucking wedding day.

I felt Alice patting my back, and took steady breaths as she assured me that everything would be alright. Once I knew that no more projectile vomiting was on the agenda, I stood up to face my sister. "Fuck, did I puke on my suit?"

Alice gave me the once over before shaking her head. "You're clean," she whispered, opening up my hand and tapping out a handful of breath mints. "Suck on all of these…you don't want your first kiss as husband and wife to be vomit flavored."

I shook my head and winced at the thought, sighing as I ran my fingers desperately through my hair. "I don't know if I can be enough for them, Ali."

She grabbed my forearms and looked intently up at me. "Edward, do you love Bella?"

"You know I fucking do," I growled.

"And do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?"

"More than anything," I murmured softly.

She smiled widely. "That's all that matters. She loves you so much, big brother. You are going to make her day, her life, her forever, just by standing up at that altar…and you know this. If you would just pull your head out of your ass, you'd see just how perfect this day is…and how perfect you two are for each other."

I knew she was right. Bella and I were meant to be together, and we'd taken a roundabout fucking way of getting here, but we were here nonetheless. I'd fucked up a lot in the past. From here on out, I would only bring her happiness.

I hugged my sister tightly, kissing the top of her head. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Edward. You're going to be such a good Daddy." She let go of me and smiled happily up at me, the tears shining in her eyes. My sister had been theatric with the waterworks ever since Bella and I told the family we were pregnant. We spilled the beans about two and a half months ago, right after Charlie and Sue's wedding. Not long after us, they admitted to everyone about their own bun in the oven. Things had turned out for the best, in the strangest way. It was fucking baby fever in the Cullen/Swan clan, without a doubt.

"Well, do I look like I just hurled on the side of a church?" I sighed, trying to tame my jacked up hair before giving up just as quickly.

"You look pale and unkept, just like always. I swear, Edward Anthony, would it kill you to comb your hair on your wedding day?" Ali growled, fussing with my hair.

I scoffed and batted her hands away. "I already tried, now quit."

She smirked and linked our arms together. "You're lucky Bella likes your busted ass hair, fool. Now hurry up and get inside…it's almost time."

I kissed the top of Ali's spiky head, thinking I was pretty fucking lucky to have a five foot nothing, wanksta for a sister.

I walked back into the church, a new rush of determination fueling my steps. Now that my nerves were deposited all over the outskirts of the building, only the truth remained. I was marrying Isabella Marie Swan today, and this day was only the beginning of the rest of our lives.

**

The harps were playing softly in the background, making this whole moment feel rather unworldly. I was done with my insecurities. While I did have the tendency to fuck up, my girl forgave me every time. And my sister was right, we loved each other. I knew this day was coming since the second I met her, so there was no need to panic when this moment was just for me and my girl.

But now, I just wanted her.

I hadn't seen her since yesterday morning, the longest we'd gone without each other since the night Tanya put my ass in the hospital. You know, as much as it fucking blew to almost be ripped away from the love of your life, I wouldn't trade that night for the world. Not only did Bella and I consummate our relationship for the first time, but that whole experience…not knowing if you'd live to see another day, to marry your girl or make a baby with her…well that made this day so much more gratifying…this perfect fucking moment.

I missed her. And I was worried as fuck. So far, everything about her pregnancy had been normal, but it would be my shitty luck that something would go wrong while I was being kept away from her in the sake of 'wedding tradition' or whatever the fuck.

I just wanted my girl.

I'd been doing the best I could to keep her comfortable and happy, but she had her miserable moments. Shit, it was trying sometimes, but then I tried to imagine how I'd be if I had a little person inside of me making me barf and messing with my emotions and shit—I'd be a whiny bastard and probably start crying for my mommy, so I'd say my girl was handling that shit pretty well.

I wondered how she was in that moment. Nervous? Anxious? Overheated? Seattle had been fucking hot this summer, and I'd severely thought about finding the world's largest fucking sun blind and draping it over that shit, just so Bella could have some relief.

I told the pastor that I didn't care if icicles were hanging off of our guest's noses, this church needed to stay fucking cool for her….her comfort was more important than anything else today.

I saw my dad approaching the altar, which quickly snapped me out of my thoughts. His face was filled with pride and happiness, causing my heart to clench. My dad was the shit, even if I did walk in on Bella and Rose talking about how hot he was one day. Ugh…talk about awkward.

"Are you feeling better now, son?" He straightened my tie and clapped my back once.

"Yeah, I'm good Dad. I'm just ready to collect my girl and get this show on the road," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

My dad smiled. "You're moments away, Edward."

I nodded. "Dad, have you seen Bella today?"

He looked up hesitantly at me, as if he were about to divulge something he shouldn't. "I saw her briefly this morning."

My heart started racing. "How was she? Did she look sick or too fucking hot? This sun has been taking its toll on her, not to mention the morning sickness. Did she look happy or worried…anxious? I shouldn't have been away from her for so long, I could care less about tradition—"

He cut me off by holding up his hand, a sly grin permanently plastered on his face. "Edward, calm down. She looked nervous, she looked radiant, and she looked happier than I've ever seen her."

My father's words made my heart go completely fucking haywire, and I choked out a strangled breath of relief. "Christ," I muttered.

He chuckled and patted my back once more. "Watch your choice of words around here, son." The harps ended their gentle refrain and that could only mean one thing.

It was time.

My dad whispered a few last encouraging words before taking his seat.

The instrumental version of _Kissing You_ began playing softly. My girl and I didn't want the wedding march, because something so predictable just wasn't us. We wanted something that would mean more to us than the old people attending, so if they didn't like it, too damn bad.

I saw my mother then, holding my almost five month old niece in her arms….my little Lily girl. The sun pretty much rose and set to the beat of her smile. We knew she was far too young to be a flower girl, but we didn't really care…it's not like we were going for a snobbish affair, considering Mase would be running down the aisle like a bear very shortly. I chuckled to myself.

So with the help of my mother, they threw some flowers to and fro, an angelic little squeal coming from Lily as my mom kissed her cheek and smiled up at me.

My face was straining from the one I gave her in return. She took her seat and I looked up to see Masen walking down the aisle. He looked like he was about to burst in excitement, his fingers clenched so tightly to the pillow in his hands with our rings. And then very suddenly and completely out of nowhere, Masen tucked that shit under his arm and started running. He clawed at my Great Uncle Thomas, he growled in Bella's Stepdad's face. He all out mauled my dad and bit his shoulder before climbing off his lap jumping into my arms.

"Whoa, Mase," I grunted, not expecting him to jump on me.

He smiled widely. "Is Aunt Bella gonna be your fionsky anymore?"

I chuckled. "It's _fiancée_ buddy, and nope, she's going to be my wife."

"Wife," he said slowly. "Is that better?"

I ruffled his crazy hair. "It's much better, little man."

He wrapped his little arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "Love you, Uncle E."

I sighed and kissed his forehead. "I love you too, Mase. Go stand over there and wait for Uncle Jake, kay?"

He nodded and hopped down just in time for me to see Angela and Jake walking down the aisle in my direction.

Jake winked at me and smiled his toothy grin while Angela was already batting at her tears. My stomach muscles were permanently clenched in excitement then. I wasn't scared anymore, I was just so fucking happy I couldn't even see straight.

Rosalie and Emmett were next to come down the aisle, both of them looking pretty fucking dapper, truth be told. Rose positioned her hand on Emmett's arm just perfectly enough to show off the fat rock he had put on her finger. That woman was shameless with shoving her ring in people's faces…but that was Rosalie, and you had to love her for her antics.

Next was Ali and Jazz, their smiles beaming as they stepped slowly my way. Alice looked like a doll, the shimmering green of her dress accentuated with black lace. It was amazing how girls could make things look so fucking amazing just by mixing together a couple colors. Bella insisted on this certain color of green for our wedding. It took lots of persistence before I finally got her to admit that the color reminded her of my eyes, which is why she loved it so much.

My girl was too fucking good to me.

I guess—if you were going off of the way they were coming down the aisle—Jasper was my best man. But he and Emmett had fought so viciously about it since the moment we told them we were getting married, that I told them they could both do it just to get them to shut the fuck up.

"Snap out of it, man." Jasper nudged me and I looked at him blankly. "You were staring off into space…your lady's on her way, buck up."

Silence fell throughout the entire room and I briefly acknowledged the crowd rising. The meaningful harmony of _Kissing You_ poured into my brain, the song that choked my girl up every time it played and made me hold her a little tighter and close my eyes when I heard it. Sometimes we'd listen to it when we made love, and then suddenly it was all I could think about…loving her, holding her, making her mine for the rest of my life…and then she was there in front of me…

She was there…

In a strapless white gown, the fabric floating out around her and creating the vision of an angel more stunning than I ever could have dreamed of. Her hair was twisted down her back with curls and flowers and fucking magnificence…my baby, my love, my _fucking girl_. And she was walking towards me to become _mine_. To be my wife and my partner for the rest of time. How fucking amazing was this?

She was just so beautiful…she absolutely took my breath away.

I smiled widely, our eyes connecting and melting into each other. She smiled and a soft giggle fell from her lips, her eyes filling with tears as she gazed up at me. My hands were twitching in the need to touch her, to hold her, to take care of my fucking _wife._

No word had ever tasted so sweet.

She shook her head at me in wonder, her father quietly watching our exchange of pure fucking love and downright need to be next to each other and make it official.

I wasn't waiting any longer.

I jumped from the top step and took quick strides to meet them halfway down the aisle. I heard mumbles and gasps and maybe even some laughter, but I needed my girl and I couldn't take the distance another minute.

I stood in front of her, bending low and kissing her forehead, my lips pressing and holding against her soft skin as I closed my eyes tightly. This right here…_this fucking moment._

Bella sighed, her hand reaching up to rest on my forearm. "What are you doing, Edward?" she asked softly, her eyes filled with tears and love as I trembled before her.

I released my kiss on her forehead and looked into the deep brown eyes of my eternity, the smile shamelessly breaking free from my lips. I ran my fingertips along her cheek, staring at her with all the love I felt inside of me. "I couldn't wait, Bella." My voice wavered in intensity, my eyes burning and my heart clenching at the magnitude of emotion I felt for the woman standing in front of me.

She exhaled unevenly, the tears falling down her cheeks as she leaned into my hand. "I love you," she whispered.

I kissed her forehead once more. "I love you," I whispered fiercely. I turned to Charlie and shook his hand. "Do you mind if I take it from here, sir?"

He looked between the two of us with a sense of pride, and I saw the shimmering of his eyes that he was trying like hell to hide. "Take her," he croaked out, "and you treat her right, Edward." Charlie kissed Bella's cheek and told her he loved her before passing her hand to me.

"I will," I nodded, wrapping Bella's hand underneath my arm and taking the plunge towards matrimony with my partner in crime by my side, just like it was meant to be.

We reached the top step and stood in front of the pastor just as the music faded, and he chuckled softly. "Well, that was a first."

There was a gentle murmuring of laughter behind us, but I refused to tear my eyes away from her.

She was so fucking beautiful. I couldn't help but run my fingers slowly along her little baby bump before pulling myself away from her eyes and focusing on our ceremony.

I'd like to say that I didn't tear up during our exchange, but fuck, who are we kidding here? When she took me to be her lawfully wedded husband…I mean _Christ_, those words were so meaningful and they were for _me_. I didn't deserve to have such a perfect fucking life and yet, here it was.

I spoke of forever as my eyes burned into hers, each word leaving my lips in a determined tone. She cried and faltered on a phrase she was supposed to repeat, which made me smile and kiss her cheek. I didn't care if the pastor didn't give us permission yet, because no one could tell me that I wasn't allowed to kiss my girl.

When we slid our rings onto each other's fingers, I felt the power of this moment throughout my entire body, these rings signifying every word, every touch, every ounce of love we felt for each other. These rings were fucking sacred…and so was my wife.

He pronounced us as husband and wife and told me to kiss my bride, which I did with the utmost fucking fervor. Because I wanted every motherfucker to take a look at us and know that we belonged to each other, and that was the way it would forever be.

We entwined our fingers tightly and gazed at each other as we turned to face our family and friends, our smiles wide and jovial. "You ready?" I questioned softly.

And I wasn't just talking about walking out of this church or heading over to my parents for the reception. I was asking if she was ready for a full and happy life with me.

"I'm ready, baby," she whispered, leaning over and kissing my lips firmly. "You make me so incredibly happy, Edward."

I pulled her into my side, burying my nose in the soft, sweet scent of her hair. "That's all I need to know, love." I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles softly as my eyes shined with tears I couldn't deny.

"That's all I need to know."

**

It was nearing the end of our reception and I was getting a little cranky. Not only had they kept me away from my girl for over 24 hours before the ceremony, but I continually had to share her with our guests. The moment we'd find each other and sigh in relief, one of us was being pulled away to say hello to a distant family member, or pose in a picture someone desperately needed to take.

Fuck that…the only thing I needed was my wife, plain and simple.

I sat down heavily and pulled at my tie, loosening it and staring down at my ring. I twirled it around slowly, watching the shine catch in the glitter of the twinkling lights my sister hung. I'd never take this ring off again.

Hopefully I didn't become a fatty in fifteen years and have my sacred wedding ring cut off my circulation, because the shit wasn't leaving my finger--no way, no how.

I felt two small hands wrap around my neck from behind and a kiss pressed into my hair. "Excuse me miss, but you shouldn't be touching me like this with my wife in the near vicinity. If you want, I can meet you in the pantry in like five minu—"

I was interrupted with several slaps against my chest and a bite to my ear. "Mmm," I hummed. "Bite me again, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella sucked my earlobe into her mouth before clamping down roughly. "How soon can we leave our own reception, Mr. Cullen?"

I swung around and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist as I slid my tongue languidly into her mouth. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you these past two days?" I murmured against her lips.

She nodded her head and whined softly. "I missed you too, Edward. So much. It's ironic that we get married because of how much we love each other and yet we aren't allowed to spend any time together."

I placed a wet kiss against her throat. "Well, we've regained control over our life now, love…we get to decide from here on out. We can do anything we want to do."

"Anything?" she whispered reverently.

"Anything." I drifted my hand along her stomach and kissed her chin. "How's my baby?" I whispered, looking down to watch my palm slide fluidly over the silky fabric of her dress.

"Very well behaved," she smiled. "I think she knew today was a very important day for Mommy and Daddy."

I chuckled. "We're sure it's a girl now, right? I mean, the night you told me, I had a gut feeling that it was, but the night of your father's wedding…. "my little guy" had a nice ring to it."

Bella kissed my temple and got up from my lap. "I think it will be a girl, babes…I just have a feeling."

"We could find out," I murmured, resting my ear against her belly as she stood in front of me.

She ran her fingers heavily through my hair. "Don't you want to be surprised?"

I nodded and kissed her baby bump. "Yeah, but I get too excited sometimes."

"I know, baby," she murmured, leaning down and kissing the top of my head.

I took a look around before standing and dragging her towards the side of the house. "C'mon…"

"Where are we going?" she giggled, her little fingers tightening around mine. I knew she'd follow me anywhere, and that meant more to me than words could ever say.

I chuckled and swung her around the side of the house, holding her flesh against me as _What a Wonderful World_ began to play in the distance. I smiled down at her, holding her hand to my chest. "We're dancing our first dance," I murmured softly.

"We already had our first dance as husband as wife," she whispered, leaning up to kiss me slowly.

I twirled us around, my lips pressing gently against her ear as I felt her fist tighten around the fabric of my jacket. "That was for them," I nodded out towards our wedding party. "But this….this is just for us…this is _our_ first dance."

A sigh of happiness escaped her pink lips before she was on her tip toes, kissing me with abandon as her fingers curled into my hair. "I love you, Edward."

I hummed against her lips before breaking our kiss, pressing my mouth along her jaw, her neck, and finally the shell of her ear, whispering, "And I think to myself…"

My wife blinked her tears away as her hands cupped my face. "What a wonderful world."

I sighed, pressing my forehead tightly against hers as she spoke softly against my lips. "Take me and let's go, Edward. I need to be alone with you."

I breathed unevenly, my chest rising and falling in the intensity of this moment. I took both of her hands and kissed them before linking our fingers together. "You're my life, Bella."

The words were simple, but far more significant than I could ever convey. I felt them spread throughout my body and hers, holding us together and binding us even further as she held onto me so tightly. She begged for us to leave then, pleaded with me to take her where only she and I would exist.

And I promised her I would because I was _hers_…and I would do anything for her.

She was my life.

**

"Edward?"

I brought our linked fingers to my lips and kissed the back of her hand. "Yeah, baby?"

"Can I really have anything I want tonight?" She chewed on her lip as if she were nervous.

"Of course, love. I'll give you anything."

"Pull over." Her voice was firm but slightly vulnerable as she stared at me intently.

I veered to the side of the road, part of me scared shitless because if anything was wrong with her or the baby….well let me rephrase, nothing could _ever _fucking be wrong with her or the baby.

I threw the shifter into park and turned to her, my hands cupping her face as I looked at her frantically. "What's wrong, Bella? You're freaking me the fuck out."

She smiled and kissed me softly, her hand covering mine against her face. "Everything is fine, Edward, but…" she drifted off, her eyes starting to glisten in the soft light reflected from the dashboard. I wiped my thumbs beneath her eyes, my heart beating a mile a minute and my mind anxiously trying to come up with a solution to take away her pain.

"Bella, _please_…" I was begging her, because this was our wedding night and she should be fucking exuberant, not crying on the shoulder of the road.

She leaned across to kiss me, the wetness from her cheeks spreading onto mine as her lips moved passionately against me. "My emotions are just all over the place, babes. I know we have a beautiful hotel suite waiting for us tonight but…"

"Tell me," I gently demanded.

"Edward," she sniffled. "I just want to be with you in our bed. Everything's been so stressful with the wedding and the baby, and I've hardly seen you in days and I just want to be _home_ with you…wrapped up together so I can feel your warm skin against mine…I just need it, Edward. I'm so sorry."

My breath escaped my lungs sporadically, the sight of my emotionally ridden wife pleading to have me in our bed…well it was heartbreaking and breathtaking in the same instance. It hurt…my fucking heart ached because I couldn't contain it…my love for her, my need to make her happy and keep her as mine for the rest of my life.

_It literally fucking hurt. _

I released one hand from her cheek, rubbing against my chest as I gazed down at my beautiful girl. "Bella, I love you so fucking much, baby. Do you have any idea….God…._any_ idea just how much you mean to me?"

I pulled her against my chest, her sob escaping into the crook of my neck as I ran my hands up and down her back, trying to take the sincerity of my words and push them right inside of her. "Let me take you home, baby. Let me take you home and feel you…I just need to feel you, love. Please let me…"

She nodded against my shoulder, her fingertips twisting in the fabric of my dress shirt and clinging for dear life. "There's nothing without you. I'd have nothing without you," she cried against my skin, her nails digging into my back as she wept for the intensity of our connection. "I love you so much, Edward…I wish you knew how much, because I can never express it properly. I get so frustrated at the words because they aren't enough…"

I shushed her softly, releasing one hand around her and sliding the car back into drive. "Come here, baby. Just hold onto me, alright? We're going to go home…I'm taking you to our bed, because there's nowhere else I'd rather be either. Just don't let go."

I leaned away slightly and took the wheel with my left hand, slowly merging back onto the road and flipping a U back in the direction of home. She never let go of me, her body slung across the middle console as she held onto me for dear life. I felt her muscles shaking against me and I tried to loosen her grip slightly, but she refused, only clinging to me tighter. I whispered my love to her as I kissed the top of her head, massaging the muscles in her arms as they quivered in their grip around my body.

We finally pulled into our driveway and I was trembling violently. I could barely get my keys into my pocket as the overwhelming emotions wracked through every inch of me.

I had to let go of Bella to get out of the car and open her door and it was excruciating, it was empty…a single moment had me aching and burning for her touch. I threw her car door open, kneeling on the concrete and wrapping my arms around her waist as I placed kisses along her throat, her neck, her lips, her chest. "Bella," I whispered, my voice wavering fiercely as I pulled her tighter against me.

"I love you," she whimpered, her fingers lacing through my hair and pulling until my lips crashed into hers. I lost my breath entirely, my heart pounding between us as I kissed her with everything I had. My mouth worked frantically against hers, taking her tongue and pulling it against mine in a wet, sloppy pattern. I couldn't contain it, it was too much and I just had to try to fucking show her…

I groaned loudly, my hand slipping beneath her legs and lifting her swiftly from the car. I kicked the door shut behind us as she squealed in delight, her breathy moans heavy against my skin as her teeth sunk into my neck. "Hurry," she whispered.

I rushed to the house, fumbling with my keys to unlock the door. I stopped and looked at her, the frantic urgency halting immediately as I stared into her eyes. She looked through the open doorway and back at me, recognizing the age old tradition that suddenly meant more to me than I could even fathom. I kissed her forehead before pressing mine against hers and closing my eyes. "Close your eyes and memorize every single piece of this moment, Bella. I've never desired anything more than this, right here….taking you as my wife and starting our life together. It means more to me than I could ever put into words. I have more love for you than my heart can contain….remember this, love…this moment is only the beginning."

A sob broke from her lips as she pressed her forehead harder against mine. "I love you," she murmured. She continued to speak those three words against my lips as I passed over the threshold to our home and began the life I had only dreamed of having.

The house was dark and the comforting smell of home warmed me to the core…my girl was a fucking genius—this was exactly what we needed. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as I walked us leisurely to our room. The white of her dress shimmered in the soft moonlight coming through the blinds and she was beautiful…she was just so fucking beautiful that I almost fell to my knees.

My wife.

"I could look at you forever in this dress, baby," I whispered almost inaudibly, my eyes running all over her body as I gently set her down on the bed.

She smiled up at me and shook her head once. "No…please just take it off of me, Edward."

A shiver ran throughout my entire body as I knelt in front of her on the floor, my hands running up and down her outer thighs before sliding down her legs and gripping her ankles. I kissed her gently, my fingers working nimbly on the straps of her shoes as I gazed up at her. "I'll always want you like this, Bella. I'll never get enough."

She sighed, running her fingers along my jaw before trailing them across my lips. "Promise me."

I removed both of her shoes, massaging her feet slowly as I smiled crookedly up at her. "I promise, love."

"Come here," she murmured, crooking a finger and urging me to move closer by just the smoldering expression on her face.

I was sitting next to her then, brushing her long wavy curls to the front of her shoulder as my tongue dragged slowly across the back of her neck. "You taste so good, baby."

I unbuttoned her dress slowly, placing gentle kisses to every newly exposed inch of skin. I smiled against her spine as a shiver ran through her body. "Will you still love me when I'm forty years old and have a receding hairline and a beer belly?"

She giggled, which was cut off with a moan as I slid her dress off of her shoulders. "I will," she whispered. "And what about when my hair starts turning grey and my hips get wider every year?"

I slid her dress down until it gathered around her waist, slipping my hands around her and running my fingers across her abdomen. "I'll love you," I whispered, her head resting against my temple as I palmed her breasts gently over her white, lacy bra. "Fuck, Bella. This makes you look so innocent…almost virginal." I smiled and kissed her shoulder, my fingers tracing the hard outline of her nipples over the fabric.

She hummed softly, her hands rising up to cover mine over her chest. "I assure you, Edward, I'm anything but." She turned to look at me over her shoulder, a devious smirk covering her perfect face. "Now take it off."

I obliged, popping the clasp to her bra eagerly and groaning as it fell away from her body. Suddenly she was standing in front of me, her hands on my shoulders and her gorgeous fucking tits right in my face. I didn't waste a moment, my lips clamping around her firm nipple and losing myself in the texture of her skin against my taste buds. We moaned together as I worked her dress past her hips until it pooled on the floor around her, leaving her in nothing but a sheer white thong.

_Fucking hell._

I exhaled unevenly, my head resting gently against her breast as I caressed her abdomen. "Bella, thank you so fucking much for marrying me today."

She linked our fingers over her belly, the warm protrusion of firm skin causing a wave of intense love to wash through me.

My family.

"It was my pleasure," she breathed, tracing the lines of my face before sliding her hand down to my shoulder and bunching the fabric of my jacket in her grip.

Together, we wrestled with the confines of my suit until I was relieved of it, a giant sigh of contentment leaving both of our bodies as we encircled our arms around each other.

We sat like that for ages, just feeling our chests rising and falling against one another, the sound of our breathing synchronizing and mixing together. I traced her face with my fingers before running them over her body, hot and slightly sweaty from the humid August air.

I licked her shoulder, anxious to taste the salt on her skin. She moaned, pushing me backwards and straddling my aching cock as she circled her hips against me. I exhaled slowly, my fingers curling inside her underwear and snapping the strings on each side. She moaned, her eyes alight with arousal and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as I threw the scrap of fabric behind me.

There was nothing between us then, just hot, wet skin pressed together in a tingling mass of sensations. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the pangs of intense pleasure starting in my groin and working up through my stomach muscles until every inch of me was consumed by her heat, her glorious writhing body rocking against mine so perfectly.

I wanted to be on her, and I fucking _needed_ to be inside of her.

I flipped her over and covered my body with hers, gasping at the heavy emotions swirling in her dark brown eyes. I slid my hand from her neck and rested it over her heart, the frantic pounding against her chest causing a deep ache to form inside of mine. I leaned closer, pushing our chests together and sliding my hands beneath her delicate body until there was nothing between us…just skin and love and heavy breaths of pure fucking adulation.

_My wife_.

I slid inside of her slowly, our eyes connected and bound together, our faces twisting as the heavy sensation of completion and pleasure absorbed us entirely. "It's more…every time it's more," she whispered. I kissed her lips, pressing my nose gently against hers as I lost myself in the way her thighs clenched around my waist, the gentle pounding of her heart as it thudded against my chest, the sweet taste of her breath pouring into my mouth as I pushed myself all the way inside of her until our pelvic bones were pressed tightly together.

I held still, moaning and trembling as I allowed myself to come alive with the spirit of my girl and the love we shared and the intense physical connection we had since day fucking one. "Thank you," I whispered breathlessly, finally giving in and thrusting in and out of her in a steady rhythm. She moaned and crashed her forehead to mine, her eyes clasped tightly as her fingers dug into my neck. "Thank you for letting me have you this way, baby."

Her hips rose off the bed to meet mine, my strokes becoming sloppy in response to her fervor. She whimpered loudly, her tongue sliding into my mouth and her fingers dragging along my back. "I've only ever wanted to be yours."

Her nails pressed into my skin, the sharp pain mixing with the overwhelming pleasure she gave me as we came closer and closer to our release. "Harder, Bella….make me feel it."

She moaned, her scratches along my back bringing me to life and tossing gasoline on the already raging fire burning inside of me. I crashed my hips against hers, sliding my hands beneath her ass and angling her off the bed until I was hitting that sweet fucking spot deep inside of her. "I love you, baby," I panted, our skin colliding loudly in the silence of the room.

She ran her hand along my temple and caught a bead of sweat with her finger before sliding it into her mouth. "Everything about you tastes so sweet."

I felt a deep aching throb inside of me, and I knew I was so dangerously close already. I pressed my thumb against her swollen clit, clenching my eyes tightly as my face twisted from our combined pleasure. Her wetness covered my fingers and my cock and I wanted it on my tongue. I sucked my fingers hastily into my mouth before returning them to her hot skin. I moaned gutturally and licked my lips. "You're the sweet one, Bella," I groaned. "So fucking good…I just want to be inside of you forever."

My eyes widened in sheer anticipation as her breathing became labored and shuddering breaths caught inside of her throat. "All night," she whimpered. "Take me all fucking night."

I groaned at the desperation in her tone, slamming my cock inside of her as her slick walls held my throbbing dick like a vice. "Come…you have to…fuck, baby, just come on me, please."

She froze instantly and tightened her arms around my neck to the point of pain, her body lunging off the bed and crushing to mine as I held her in mid air. She came so violently, her limbs tightening around me and releasing me as wave after wave of her hot juices covered my cock.

I crashed my lips to hers as I came inside of her, my cries of passion pouring into her mouth and staking claim right inside of her as I pulled her down frantically on my cock.

I felt dizzy and disoriented, the thick feeling of euphoria sending my nerve endings into a numb and liquefied state. I landed heavily against the mattress, turning us over and laying her on top of my chest as a steady groan left my lips. "Christ, Bella."

She giggled, the sound instantly warming my heart. "Hold your applause," she teased.

I clapped my hands lazily over her head before wrapping my arms around her. "Mmmm, you make me feel so good." I groaned and squeezed her tighter.

"I want more," she whispered, turning her body to face me. "Can I have more?"

My eyes narrowed in longing. "You never have to ask me that, baby. Come here."

I took her left hand, gazing at her diamond ring before pressing it against my lips. She mirrored my actions, holding my left hand against her mouth as she stared deeply into my eyes. "I can't believe you're my husband," she murmured against the cool metal of my ring.

I smiled warmly and kissed her fingers once more. "How did I get so lucky?"

She shook her head and entwined our fingers together with both hands. I groaned as she slid up my body until she was straddling my hips, her warm, wet skin pressing delectably over my now awakening erection. "I'm the lucky one, baby," she whispered, placing her lips against mine.

"I love you," I breathed into her mouth, my hands sliding around her body and crushing her to mine. "Let me make you feel good all night, love. Let me touch you all night."

I groaned as she slid up and down my hard cock before reaching between us and sliding me inside of her. "All night," she whispered, laying back down on top of me and covering my body with hers.

I panted as she slid over me, my mind wandering over one simple phrase…the phrase that would define me as a man, as a husband, and as a father.

_I now pronounce you husband and wife._

And that was all I ever wanted us to be.

* * *

_**February**_

It was February third.

Nine days after Bella's due date.

_Christ._

"Edward?"

I shut the dishwasher door and turned the dial before high-tailing it to the living room and kneeling in front of her on the couch. "What's up, baby?"

Her eyes were filled with tears, which I had to admit was better than the rage stage, and she looked up at me in pure desperation. "I want Taco Bell, Edward."

I chuckled and pressed my lips to her forehead. "You don't need to cry over Taco Bell, love. I'll get you anything you want, you know that."

She heaved a jagged sigh, sitting up from the couch and patting the cushion next to her. "How do you stand me?" she whispered, burying her face into the crook of my neck. "I'm fat and swollen and a raging bitch…why do you want me?"

My face twisted in pain at her words. She was so up and down and always uncomfortable…but the doctors weren't ready to induce her, which was starting to piss me the hell off. "Baby, I hate seeing you so upset. Please, we'll get through this alright? Our baby will come soon, just hang in there with me."

She'd been off of work for nearly two weeks and I'd worked out with my professors to essentially take their classes online until some time after the baby was born. If she would have come on time, I still would have been on holiday vacation…but alas, my little one was being stubborn.

I wonder who she got that from?

Classes had resumed five days ago, but there was no way I could leave Bella like this. Luckily I had teachers who were understanding and compassionate to the situation. Not to mention I was basically acing every class, so working from home definitely wouldn't put a damper on my performance as a student.

I kissed her forehead once more, running my hand gently along her vastly protruding baby bump. My girl was miserable, but I couldn't help but smile at her. She was absolutely adorable with her giant baby belly attached to her tiny frame. My heart clenched every single time my eyes fell upon her. "Let me get your food, love. Number eight, right?"

She grabbed my shirt as her tears fell in steady streams. "I don't want you to go," she cried. "That's the problem, Edward! I want Taco Bell but you can't leave me."

I sighed, grabbing my cell and flipping it open. Jasper owed me one. "Yello?"

I rolled my eyes. My brother-in-law answered the phone like such a tool. "Hey, man. You remember when Ali was pregnant with Lily and I had to take her to three different Dairy Queens until she found the one with the "right kind" of dilly bar?"

He chuckled. "Uh, yeah," he said hesitantly.

Bella grabbed my arm and yanked. "Don't make him do it!" she growled.

My eyes went wide as I moved the phone away from my mouth. "Bella you won't let me leave and yet you want drive-thru…just let me handle this."

Her eyes flashed with a murderous gleam as her bottom lip trembled. "Don't yell at me, _Doucheward!"_

I cringed. My wife stealing my brother's insults…harsh, indeed.

She bounded up from the couch and waddled into the kitchen with her phone in her hand.

I sighed in exhaustion, running my fingers through my hair. "Jasper, how in the fuck did you do this twice?"

He laughed heartily. "Just suck it up and bear it, man. She'll return back to normal one day, hopefully."

"Christ," I muttered, shaking my head. "Alright, so I need you to swing by Taco Bell. Just get one of Goddamn everything so she doesn't neuter me for getting her the wrong shit."

Jazz chuckled. "Yeah I can do that. Em and I will be over in twenty."

"Emmett's with you?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we're gonna shoot some pool, after we feed my hungry sister-in-law, of course."

My eyes drifted to Bella who was now staring intently at me from the arch between the kitchen and the living room. "Cool, Jazz. Hey I gotta go, my wife needs me."

I snapped my phone shut and looked up at her, holding out my hand. "I wasn't trying to be a dick, baby. Come here."

She walked towards me slowly, a cute little pout covering her lips. She sat on my lap, attempting to straddle me and barely succeeding as her big belly stood loud and proud between us. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't," I shook my head. "Your food will be here shortly, love." I tried to lean forward to kiss her but couldn't reach—I choked back my chuckle…

…and then swallowed it when her hands went to my crotch. "Edward, Ali and I were talking…"

I gulped, because no good would ever come from a conversation with my sister. "She said that she went into labor with Lily right after her and Jazz…well, you know."

My eyes went wide, and suddenly I was more nervous than a virgin boy face to face with a playboy centerfold. It had been a few months since we'd had sex, and I honestly didn't mind…but could I do it with her all miserable and vulnerable like this?

She saw the hesitation in my face. "You don't want me, do you?" she whispered, looking down into her lap—if she could see it. "I know I'm fat Edward, but I just miss us being together and if it helps me get this pregnancy _over _with already…"

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I'll always want you, baby. You know how beautiful I think you are like this…I just…fuck, what if I hurt you?"

Her eyes were wide and hopeful. "You won't, just touch me, please…"

I swallowed thickly, my eyes darting towards the door. "Jazz said he'd be here in less than a half an hour with your food."

"Plenty of time, we haven't done it in ages…how long will you last, really?" She smirked at me as she popped the button to my jeans and dragged my zipper down.

"Right here?" My voice squeaked… _fucking squeaked_!

"The door is locked," she whispered, palming me through my boxers as my dick hardened shamelessly.

I stared up at my girl, needing me to man the fuck up and do this for her. I mean Christ, sex was sex, right? I'd be gentle with her, make love to her like a good husband does for his wife.

I slid my hands up her shoulders and across her pleasantly large breasts before settling them on her hips. "I love you," I whispered. "And I'll always want to be with you, Bella. But this position definitely won't work."

She giggled, climbing off of me and lying back on the couch as I carefully hovered over her. "Are you sure you want to do this right here and now? We could wait until after you've eaten."

"Edward…" She stared at me beneath her lashes as she tugged on the collar of my shirt. "Fuck me, right now."

I gulped. "Yes, ma'am."

I slid my hand into her yoga pants, sighing as I was met with her wet skin. "God, you're so wet, baby."

She moaned, grabbing onto my wrist. "That's because you're gorgeous and I want you…and there's no time so get on with it!"

_Christ._

I slid my hand out of her pants and pressed my miraculously still hard cock between her legs, groaning at the friction between us. "You're kinda scary like this, baby. I don't know whether to be turned on or go rock in the corner."

She giggled as I kissed her, her fingers threading through my hair as she pulled me closer. "I'm sorry, I just want you inside of me, Edward. It's been too long." She winced as I pulled her closer. "You're going to have to spoon me, babes. You're crushing your wife and unborn child."

My eyes went wide as I bolted upright. "I'm sorry, holy shit…"

She smiled and ran the back of her hand up and down the bulge in my pants. "It's alright….now get these off."

I kneeled in front of her on the couch and brushed the hair out of her face. "Are you sure?"

She slid her hand down the front of my pants and gripped my cock tightly. "Now," she demanded, pressing her lips to mine.

I groaned into her mouth, fumbling to pull down my jeans and boxers. I finally just pushed them around my knees, not bothering to take them off since she was fucking right, there was no way I'd be lasting long.

I leaned down and kissed her swollen belly, gazing up to meet her stare. "Let's get this baby out of you."

She moaned and wiggled her hips anxiously. I grabbed the waistband of her pants and tugged slightly, a soft cry escaping her lips.

I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice, not realizing how badly I needed this.

"Edward," she whimpered.

"I know, baby. I know," I sighed.

"Edward!" she yelled firmly, causing my eyes to jerk open and take in her shocked expression. My eyes traveled down her body until they landed on her saturated pants and my heart stopped beating.

"Is that…"

She swallowed thickly. "Um, I think my water just…"

I felt my pulse in my ears, drowning out all sound as I looked into Bella's eyes. "Broke," I choked out.

She leaned up from the couch before a small smile covered her lips. I quickly followed suit as the giddy chuckle escaped me. "Holy shit, Bella. I'm really fucking good, aren't I?"

She laughed and I hugged her gently, kissing her lips as I pulled her up carefully from the couch. "We have to go, holy fuck, we need to get out of here. Let me get your coat, baby, and I'll get the suitcase but the car isn't warmed up for you, fuck—"

She pressed a finger to my lips, smiling radiantly up at me as her breathing escalated. "Button up your pants, babes," she whispered.

I smiled sheepishly at her and she leaned up to kiss my lips. "I'm okay, breathe." I kissed her once more and let go of her hand to tuck myself back in. I shook my head at this situation. "I'm going to go start the car, just…..wait here."

She told me she was going to go change and I ran to the door. As I flew it open, I was met with my brothers who were holding four bags of food. "Taco delivery," Jazz's smile faltered as he took in my rattled expression. "What's wrong, bro?"

"My baby's coming!" I bellowed, shaking his shoulders before rushing past them and starting the car.

My baby was coming.

_Holy fuck._

I ran back to the house, smiling as Emmett and Jasper sat on either side of my girl while they held her hands. "Remember, B. Hee hee hoo….hee hee hoo." Emmett's face was ghostly pale, he looked almost as nervous as I felt.

"I'm an old pro at this, Bells. Don't worry," Jasper winked.

Bella scoffed. "Oh really? How many babies have you pushed out your peen hole, _Jazz_?" she growled, her face twisting in the pain that wasn't so prominent moments ago.

Suddenly Jasper was rivaling Emmett in the pasty white department.

I grabbed Bella's coat and shoved my brothers out of the way, kissing her cheek. "You tell 'em, baby."

She smiled softly before her face contorted in pain. "We need to go, Edward."

I started barking orders as I walked my love towards the door, telling Jazz to grab the suitcase and Emmett to kill the lights and lock up behind them.

The drive was filled with nothing but our heavy breathing, my thumb rubbing vicious circles on the back of her hand as I sped towards the hospital. My phone rang five times, first Alice, then my mother, then Dad who was at the hospital, then Rose, panicking and asking what the hell was going on. My last call was from Jake, who said he'd meet us at there, and that he was totally having sympathy contractions.

I scoffed.

My family.

I swung into the emergency exit and ran in to get a wheelchair before helping my wife into it, kissing her forehead and looking intently at her. "Still hanging in there, baby?"

She nodded, her eyes fearful as she gazed up at me. "Together," I whispered, kissing her lips and trying to console her anxiety—I could only imagine the trepidation filling her thoughts right now.

This was the biggest moment of our life, and I had to try to make the best of an extremely excruciating situation for my girl.

Fuck, this was _huge._

I wheeled her in and was met immediately by my father who was wringing his hands together and pacing in front of the admissions desk. He sighed and ran towards us swiftly. His hand rose up to rest on Bella's forehead. "How are you, sweet pea? Have you been counting between contractions?" My dad kneeled in front of her, a look of concern plastered across his features.

"Five minutes," Bella and I murmured together.

He nodded and kissed the top of her head before standing. "Well, let's go." My dad smiled knowingly as he clapped my back. "She'll be alright, c'mon, son."

I brushed my fingers through Bella's hair and sighed heavily. "Edward, can you call Mom and Dad, please?"

I suddenly realized within the haze of potential couch sex, water breakage and my frantic need to get my wife to the hospital that I'd completely forgotten to call Bella's parents and let them know their grandbaby was on her way.

I looked back and forth between my dad and my wife, the fear of leaving her sending me into a tail spin of panic. My dad took the wheelchair. "It will only take a minute. Make your calls outside and come find us in maternity. I've already got a delivery room lined up…324. Go."

I kissed Bella's cheek and whispered my love for her before running full speed outside. I rested my forearms on my thighs as I leaned down and tried not to pass out. I called her mom, who flew in a few days ago to be here for the birth. She was staying at a nearby hotel and threw the phone the moment I told her that it was time. I called Charlie and Sue, who already had an eight day old baby boy to look after. That was the only problem with Sue and Bella's pregnancies being so close together. Bella had yet to meet her new baby brother, Brandon, and Charlie and Sue couldn't exactly pick up and go when they had a little one to look after.

Charlie cursed under his breath, apologizing repeatedly that he wasn't there for us. "I don't know what to do," he groaned, the guilt evident in his voice. I assured him that we understood, and that I'd call him as soon as I knew more. After I finally got off the phone with Charlie, I ran to find my girl and our soon to be newborn baby.

My dad stopped me from barreling into the room, grabbing my shoulders. "I know you're panicking, Edward…but your baby's coming. You need to be strong for your wife, alright?"

I swallowed thickly, nodding my head and reminding myself that this shit wasn't about me…it was about my girl and my child.

He walked me into the room where Bella already had beads of sweat sliding down her face. She was fighting to pull her hair into a ponytail, to no avail. I rushed to her side, gathering her hair up and sliding the band around it. A hairstylist I was not, but it got the job done. "Bella," I whispered reverently, pressing my lips to her sticky forehead and taking her trembling hand.

"Don't leave me again," she whispered breathlessly as she closed her eyes. "My contractions are so close now and they say I'm almost fully dilated…"

Her lady doctor nodded her head. "It's almost time, Edward. Are you ready to become a father?"

Her question nearly knocked me to my fucking knees.

_Are you ready to become a father?_

Suddenly everything became so real…the nursery we had ready at home, the car seat just waiting to be used in our backseat. The baby monitors, the swing, the bottles, the fucking breast pumps and nursing bras and this moment….it was all real in this moment and I was going to become a father…

…_a father…_

"I'm ready," I whispered, steeling myself for the birth of my baby as I gazed down at my girl.

Our family filled the doorway but didn't enter. Rose, Alice, my mother, Renee and Jake had tears streaming down their cheeks as Jasper, Emmett, Phil and Sam looked quietly on. My dad joined them in the entrance and put a hand on my mom's shoulder. "We love you, Bella," he called softly.

She nodded her head. "I love you guys too," she murmured.

Renee ran in and kissed her daughter. "Do you want me to stay, baby?"

Bella smiled up at her and patted her cheek. "It's okay, Mom. Edward and I can handle this."

Renee nodded, walking over and hugging me tightly before slowly backing out of the room.

Everyone voiced their love for us once more, the last sound I heard was Emmett's booming voice saying, "Remember your lamazda, B. Hee hee hoo…hee hee—"

And then the doors were closed.

And then there was nothing but silence and beeping monitors and Bella's heavy breaths.

This was it.

I kissed her cheek, my eyes closing tightly as my hand clasped around hers. "I love you so much, baby. So much…I'm here, okay? I'm here…we can do this."

"I love you too," she whispered in a shaky breath…and suddenly her legs were in the stirrups and the doctor was talking rapidly and my girl was pushing and this was it. Our baby was coming.

Everything was a haze…I couldn't think, couldn't function…I just swallowed my tongue and watched in wonder as she pushed and fought to bring our child into this world. She was in so much pain and she was crying, and I wanted to fucking cry too because she didn't get her epidural and I screamed at the doctor to give it to her because the love of my life was hurting and I couldn't bear it…

But Bella assured me it was alright…that even if there _had _been time for an epidural, she wouldn't have taken it because she wanted to meet our daughter with a clear mind. And then I was crying too, and I fought through my heavy wave of emotions to be there for my wife as she struggled to bring us our child…_and she screamed_. She fucking screamed in agony as I whispered that I loved her, that I was so lucky to have her and so thankful she was enduring this so we could become parents, that I needed her like air and the fucking blood flowing through my veins. I fought like hell not to lose it but I was…and I held her as every muscle in her body strained and throbbed in exertion and our lady doctor was supportive…telling my love that she was doing a good job and she was almost there.

_Keep pushing…_

_…just keep pushing, Bella._

Minutes or hours passed, I had lost all sense of time as I breathed in rhythm with my girl and held onto her like it was the last thing I'd ever do.

But then the whole world stopped turning for one moment. There wasn't a sound or another instance in this whole fucking universe because my baby was in our doctor's arms and she was covered in a whole mess of crap but she was _mine_. My heart and my soul wrapped up into one little bundle of joy. And she was here…and she was _mine_.

I felt the tears hit my cheeks.

The doctor's words were mumbled, holding out surgical scissors and asking me to cut away my daughter's lifeline. And I cut it….and I stared at her in awe.

She was pink and her face was squished up….and then she wasn't there anymore and I panicked. I watched as they cleaned her off and wrapped her up, flopping her on Bella's chest as her little cheek rested against my wife's heart and they were my family…my family was before me and we were all crying, all three of us were sobbing because we were finally together and there was nothing more we ever could have asked for.

Nothing more.

I held my girls and kissed my baby's soft bronze hair, my breath strangled inside of me as I met Bella's loving, exhausted stare. "She's here," my girl whispered, and I choked on my breath again because I never could have imagined it would be like this…to feel so complete like this.

My baby was here.

_Our_ baby was here.

I kissed Bella's lips and I kissed my daughter's cheek and I sighed in utter contentment. "I love you, I love you…" I whispered to my girls, pressing my forehead against my wife's temple. "I love you."

Bella stared at me tenderly before looking down at our little one. "Ava, say hi to Daddy."

I swallowed thickly, her little fists clenched so tightly as her mouth opened and closed in a perfect O. I kissed her hand and smiled down at her. "My baby girl," I whispered.

I looked into Bella's big brown eyes, her hair wild around her face and the glow of motherhood lighting up her features. And I loved her. _God_, I loved her when I stumbled in her classroom, when I danced with her at the bar, when I sang Soulja Boy to her in the hotel room, when I kissed her at Chuck E. Cheese, when I promised my soul to her as I lay bleeding in the rain, when I took her as my wife…

_I loved her._

And this was only the beginning.

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**The End.**

**Thanks again…it's all I can really say.**

**Please stop by and check out my new story, Laid Bare: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/Laid_Bare**

**Now leave me some goodbye lovin' in the form of a review of course. I hope you enjoyed the ride, I know I have. Until next time! **

**P.S. Pictures of Bella's wedding dress and bridesmaid's dresses are on my profile!**


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